Third Degree Mind

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Third Degree Mind Podcast about mental health and wellness, specifically Borderline Personality Disorder, and other conditions affecting emotions and happiness.
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22/07/2024
This is deep!
07/07/2024

This is deep!

Hey All!New episode of Third Degree Mind dropping today!** 4 Days, 4 Minutes, 4 Life Lessons **My daughter and I travele...
04/05/2024

Hey All!

New episode of Third Degree Mind dropping today!

** 4 Days, 4 Minutes, 4 Life Lessons **

My daughter and I traveled for four days to see the recent total solar eclipse. Four days, for four minutes of totality. Along the way we had some hiccups and delays, all of which are valuable life lessons which I'd love to share with all of you. Four days, Four Minutes, Four Life Lessons.

My daughter and I traveled for four days to see the recent total solar eclipse. Four days, for four minutes of totality. Along the way we had some hiccups and delays, all of which are valuable life lessons which I'd love to share with all of you. Four days, Four Minutes, Four Life Lessons.

Ain’t that the truth… 💪
29/12/2023

Ain’t that the truth… 💪

28/07/2023

Relationship lessons I have learned throughout the years.

When you meet someone and they show you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

When you try to save a toxic relationship or an abusive person, that is called a trauma response.

Your relationship doesn't need to make sense to anyone except you and your partner.
It's a relationship, not a community project.

Always believe people when they show you who they truly are.

Many times what we call "Giving people the benefit of the doubt" is our way of disrespecting our own boundaries with a delusional belief that they will change.

Always pray to God for guidance in your relationship.

Always having effective communication in crucial.

Communication is more than talking on the phone for countless hours at night before you decide to fall asleep.

Its the quality of the conversation that truly matters.

If your absence doesn't affect them, then your presence never mattered.

The moment when you start to wonder if you deserve better..... You do.

A person's morals, standards and mindset will be the qualities that will be raising your children. Those are the things that will make them a good spouse and parent. Not their looks, so choose wisely.

Pursue a relationship with someone that knows the smallest details about you. Like the time you wake up, how you like your coffee, your favorite smell, your love language, what movies make you cry. Never settle for the bare minimum.

Take my advice and stop crossing oceans for people that wouldn't jump a puddle for you.

~ Cody Bret

Little message of positivity for you on this Wednesday evening!
27/07/2023

Little message of positivity for you on this Wednesday evening!

27/02/2023

At some point, you just gotta tell people, “I love you and I'II love you forever, but l'm no longer interested in the level of life you have to offer me. I'm not asking you to change, but I need you to understand that you can do what you want to do and how you want to do it, you just can't do that with me.”

Sometimes you have to love people from a distance to protect your peace.

Choose who you surround yourself with wisely. Your vibe and energy are so critical to your health and success.

Protect it at all costs.

03/10/2022

Should we do a live event one day? Like an informal Q&A via Zoom? Would anyone participate? Let me know!

Some truth here in this picture! Do you have goals you want to achieve in life? Do you have a 5-year plan? Or maybe a 10...
03/10/2022

Some truth here in this picture! Do you have goals you want to achieve in life? Do you have a 5-year plan? Or maybe a 10-year plan? Let’s break that down into SMALLER steps and figure out where we want to be TODAY, or TOMORROW, and ultimately... how we get to where we want to be in LIFE. Remember that it’s a process, something that doesn’t just happen overnight. It’s something that you have to work towards, and if you set unrealistic or unachievable goals, you’ll lead yourself to depression because you’ll never make that first step. Break down your goals into smaller steps, and get what you want out of life!

Now that’s deep 😉
18/09/2022

Now that’s deep 😉

Definitely worth the read…
03/04/2022

Definitely worth the read…

The following was written by Dr. Melissa DeBose Hankins, a psychiatrist, and she gave me permission to share it:

This is what the result of unresolved trauma looks like.

What many of us witnessed during last night’s Academy Award ceremony between Will Smith and Chris Rock was a TRAUMA RESPONSE.

While I am in no way condoning violence, I think this is a very public and very important opportunity for us to all understand what a trauma response can look like.

A trauma response can take many forms (some surprising) and look like:

Slapping someone for saying “the wrong” thing

Yelling at someone for not doing something “fast enough” or “up to your standards”

Avoiding or not responding to a boss’s emails about scheduling an upcoming performance review

“Having to” do everything “perfectly,” otherwise you feel anxious or unsettled in some way

Yelling at staff or throwing things around your office or OR when you feel frustrated or have a bad outcome at work

Not setting boundaries around your time and energy because you’re worried about confrontation and upsetting the other person

Working endless hours without taking time for yourself or the things and people you enjoy because your job is your primary source and measure of your own self-worth and value

When a person has experienced trauma (“Big T” trauma or “Little t”trauma) from their childhood (or, their adulthood), the brain and body store that traumatic memory in ways such that aspects of that memory can be re-activated by present-day interactions and situations.

When this happens, the person experiencing this re-activation is split-second processing (on a subconscious or unconscious level) the current event through the filter of that past trauma. This means that that person is, for all meaningful purposes, experiencing things as if they are right back in that previous circumstance of trauma. As a result, they are reacting (taking action)—emotionally, physically, and/or verbally—from that place of trauma.

Those past traumas can be diverse and range from:

Witnessing a parent being physically or verbally abused during your childhood

You, yourself, experiencing physical, sexual, or verbal abuse in your childhood or adulthood

Experiencing emotional abuse or neglect as a child

Being harshly reprimanded (this could include being spoken to by someones with an angry tone and demeanor) or shamed by others as a child for not doing a task “the right way” or not doing it “well enough”

Being told (and, perhaps, punished) as a child by an adult caregiver that it’s not polite and/or not acceptable to say “No” when an adult tells you to do something (including getting hugs from relatives, being made to attend events with your parents even when it’s clear your parents really didn’t want to go)

Being called out by a teacher in front of the class for having the wrong answer and feeling embarrassment and shame

While some of the above may be horrific, and other things may seem inconsequential, depending on the age of occurrence, the emotional, mental, and physical resources that person had at that age, as well as any prior traumas could determine the extent to which that person experienced trauma. A 2 year-old accidentally wandering into a closet with a door that shuts behind them that they can’t easily open, plunging them alone in darkness for 15 minutes before someone finds them is a far different experience than that of an adult in the same predicament.

In the case of Will Smith, he detailed in his autobiographical book, “Will,” that he witnessed trauma as a child in the form of violence at home. In his book he writes:

“When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed,” he wrote. “I saw her spit blood. That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.”

“Within everything that I have done since then — the awards and accolades, the spotlights and attention, the characters and the laughs — there has been a subtle string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing her in the moment. For failing to stand up to my father. For being a coward.”

So, while the “joke” Chris Rock said was about Will’s wife, the fact that she was being targeted in combination with the look on her face (signaling to Will her level of upset and distress about what was said), triggered a split-second accessing of (and instantly being placed inside of that) memory to an earlier time when he was 9yo and wasn’t able to protect his mom (the woman he loved).

Will’s reaction last night was that of that 9yo traumatized little boy who simply reacted in the way that 9yo boy wanted to react back then.

Does having a history of trauma (big or little) give a “free pass” for the present-day trauma reactions that involve the harming (physically, verbally, or emotionally) of another? No, of course not.

However, it does highlight the extreme importance of understanding trauma and it’s many manifestations, and addressing it with effective trauma-informed approaches that address the emotional, physical (because we hold emotions in our body), and mental aspects of trauma.

Hopefully, rather than simply vilify Will, and say he has “an anger problem,” people close to him can help him recognize that this is “A TRAUMA PROBLEM,” and help him get the trauma-informed help in the form of therapy in combination with modalities as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, or “tapping”), EMDR, or other somatic modalities that can effectively and efficiently release the traumatized aspects held in his memory and body.

Once his trauma and his emotions are no longer dictating his actions, he could have a much more measured and effective response to situations such as that that occurred at last night awards ceremony.

My further hope is that if anyone reading this finds that they are stuck in patterns of extreme reaction (such as Will experienced), or even less severe reactions, but you recognize are getting in the way of you living life the way you really want, please consider getting trauma-informed support.

Even if you’ve not experienced “Big T” trauma, ALL of us have experienced various “little T” traumas that have impacted each of us in various ways personally and/or professionally—some with mild behaviors and impacts, some not so mild.

As physicians, we are masterful at suppressing so many of our emotions, and the thoughts and memories associated with them. However, trauma has a way of impacting us in great big obvious ways (as we saw with Will Smith), and not such obvious ways (perfectionism, workaholism, lack of boundaries).

I’m not suggesting any of us go unearthing swaths of past trauma (please don’t do this unless you are working with a trauma-informed individual).

Simply be aware that it may be impacting you in ways you recognize and have yet to address, or in ways you never quite thought of as being associated with trauma. And, if needed, allow yourself to get the support you need by working with a trauma-informed therapist, trauma-informed coach, or other trauma-informed practitioner/modality.

Now published by KevinMD.com here: https://www.kevinmd.com/2022/03/will-smiths-slap-is-a-trauma-response.html

18/03/2022

Sorry for the constant delays guys… I was involved in an accident recently and still recovering. TDM returning soon!

03/03/2022

New episodes coming this weekend! Stay tuned!

My friends…. A picture is worth a thousand words 🇺🇦 🇷🇺
26/02/2022

My friends…. A picture is worth a thousand words

🇺🇦 🇷🇺

10/01/2022

Vacation in Grand Canyon went a little long... Third Degree Mind returns tomorrow morning. It only takes 7 minutes to start your Tuesday off right, with the Morning Air! Download will be available for on-demand listening beginning 1/11/22 at 4am Pacific Time :)

04/01/2022

Morning Air begins 1/4 bright and early! Take 7 minutes of your morning to listen and learn about why it's important to set the bar high for your ambitions. THINK BIG, and reach for the stars. Episode drops tomorrow at 4:00am Pacific Time. Download & Listen when you wake up, or any time at your convenience!

** NEW EPISODE ** Podcast Resurrection. A roadmap for the future of Third Degree Mind, and introducing The Morning Air, ...
01/01/2022

** NEW EPISODE ** Podcast Resurrection. A roadmap for the future of Third Degree Mind, and introducing The Morning Air, how YOU start your day!

A roadmap for the future of Third Degree Mind... Introducing The Morning Air regular broadcast. ...

Why should we simply “revive” a podcast, when we can RESURRECT it? New recording tools & toys came in today….Resurrectio...
31/12/2021

Why should we simply “revive” a podcast, when we can RESURRECT it? New recording tools & toys came in today….

Resurrection coming this weekend…

** NEW EPISODE **Third Degree Mind is back in session, after almost a year of silence. In this episode, learn what it me...
11/12/2021

** NEW EPISODE **

Third Degree Mind is back in session, after almost a year of silence. In this episode, learn what it means to own and overcome. It means more than just owning your mistakes. OWN YOUR EMOTIONS, and take the first step towards overcoming the mood swings.

Third Degree Mind is back in session, after almost a year of silence. In this episode, learn what it means to own and overcome. It means more than just owning your mistakes. OWN YOUR EMOTIONS, and take the first step towards overcoming the mood swings....

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