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The LIGHT Morning SHOW This page is for listeners who would like to comment on something from the show, give a birthday greeting or some other announcement.

13/06/2024

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A: He gave her a ring.

12/06/2024

Q: Did you hear about the kid who drank eight cans of pop?

A: He burped 7-Up.

06/06/2024

Q: What do you call a train with a cold?

A: A-choo choo train!

05/06/2024

Q: How does Darth Vader like his toast?

A: On the dark side!

04/06/2024

Q: What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place?

A: A roamin’ numeral!

30/05/2024

Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed climb up the hill?

A: Because it was on a roll!

29/05/2024

Q: What happens when a strawberry gets run over in the street?

A: A traffic jam!

28/05/2024

Q: What does a triceratops sit on?

A: Its tricera-bottom!

23/05/2024

John Deer has announced it is removing the warranty on one of their products.

They will no longer stand behind their manure spreaders!

22/05/2024

Q: What kind of socks do grizzlies wear?

A: None, they have bear feet!

21/05/2024

Q: Why is a snake difficult to fool?

A: You can’t pull its leg!

16/05/2024

Q: What do frogs order at fast-food restaurants?

A: French flies!

15/05/2024

I find Wednesdays so depressing.
Just wait a couple of days.
Why?
It will be a sadder day!

14/05/2024

Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

A: An irrelephant!

09/05/2024

Q: What kind of dog does a magician have?

A: A Labracadabrador!

08/05/2024

Q: What does garlic do when it gets hot?

A: It takes its cloves off!

07/05/2024

Q: What happened when the world’s tongue-twister champion got arrested?

A: They gave him a tough sentence!

02/05/2024

Q: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A: One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

01/05/2024

Q: How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?

A: It is either one or the udder!

30/04/2024

Q: What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon?

A: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

25/04/2024

Q: What did the duck say after she bought chapstick?

A: Put it on my bill!

24/04/2024

Q: Why do the French like to eat snails?
A: Because they don’t like fast food!

23/04/2024

Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?
A: Because you can’t see in the dark.

18/04/2024

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

17/04/2024

Q: What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?

A: A watchdog

16/04/2024

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
A: Mashed potatoes

11/04/2024

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: a pork chop!

10/04/2024

Why did they suspend the contests at the zoo?
Because it was full of cheetahs!

09/04/2024

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.

04/04/2024

Q: What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A: A slowpoke.

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