The "Mixed Emotions" card deck: a compass for life's journey

29/12/2022

Mixed Emotions is now one of the many decks available on the Deckible app, which aspires to be the "Audible" of card decks. You can download Deckible from your app store, or go to deckible.com and download Mixed Emotions from there. Some of the available decks are oracles, so some of the spreads are oracle-based. I included this one, which is called a "Zodiac spread," but you can use it to identify a primary emotion and secondary/underlying emotions. Let me know what you think!

10/12/2021

Thanks for this awesome article Peggy! Do we need a deck with emotions like gezelligheid. ambiguphobia, and iktsuarpok in it?

"Barrett champions what she calls emotional granularity. The more finely you can identify different body states—distinguishing, say, among aggravation, irritation, frustration, hostility, anxiety, and disgruntlement—the more you will understand yourself, and the more effectively you will move in the world. Marc Brackett, an emotion scholar at Yale, argues that when you can precisely label your emotions, you’ll be able to more accurately communicate your needs to others, and you’ll be able to more precisely understand their needs."

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/benefits-emotional-diversity/620629/?utm_campaign=the-atlantic&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook

Becoming attuned to your more obscure emotions is good for you. So get over your stenahoria and embrace your amae.

27/09/2021

14/04/2021

Need help making a decision, solving a problem, or resolving a conflict? You can now use this online tool for free. It walks you through all 60 cards in the Mixed Emotions card deck and gives you a new way to put your feelings into words.

The Mixed Emotions card deck is a tool that can help you put your feelings into words. Having a deck of your own enables you to stack, sort, and arrange card...

23/01/2021

Seattle’s newest bookstore, Oh Hello Again, has a novel system: categorizing books by emotions

https://www.seattletimes.com/entertainment/books/seattles-newest-bookstore-oh-hello-again-has-a-novel-system-categorizing-books-by-emotions/?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=owned_echobox_tw_m&utm_source=Twitter =1611373571

09/01/2021

3 Ways to Better Understand Your Emotions

"Words matter. If you’re experiencing a strong emotion, take a moment to consider what to call it. But don’t stop there: once you’ve identified it, try to come up with two more words that describe how you are feeling. You might be surprised at the breadth of your emotions — or that you’ve unearthed a deeper emotion buried beneath the more obvious one."

https://hbr.org/2016/11/3-ways-to-better-understand-your-emotions?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=hbr&utm_source=twitter&tpcc=orgsocial_edit

30/11/2020

The words we use to describe our emotions affect how we feel, says historian Tiffany Watt Smith, and they've often changed (sometimes very dramatically) in response to new cultural expectations and ideas. Take nostalgia, for instance: first defined in 1688 as an illness and considered deadly, today it's seen as a much less serious affliction. In this fascinating talk about the history of emotions, learn more about how the language we use to describe how we feel continues to evolve -- and pick up some new words used in different cultures to capture those fleeting feelings in words.
https://www.ted.com/talks/tiffany_watt_smith_the_history_of_human_emotions?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

27/11/2020

How are you using your Mixed Emotions cards?

Someone recently sent photos of the cards she used when sorting out feelings about her relationship. She said, “I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and stuck. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I was angry and resentful all the time, and although my partner and I have talked about trying to make the relationship better, it just felt like we’re playing Whack-a-Mole. Whatever we tried just frustrated me more, and new problems kept popping up. I began to wonder if I wanted to be in a relationship at all.”

She sorted her Mixed Emotions cards into two piles: things she was feeling, and things she wanted to feel. Then she rearranged the cards to help her make sense of it all. In the process, she came to realize that many of the uncomfortable emotions she was struggling with had nothing to do with the relationship--they were related to the pandemic.

She chose cards that would help her convey to her partner how her exhaustion and stress were killing any romantic spark they had, and she decided to ask for help and comfort.

Sometimes in going through the cards, it can seem like you're feeling a huge number of emotions. Often simply naming the emotions helps them release, and what's important can come into focus.

Show us how you’re using your cards. You can post a photo in the comments, or send us a Direct Message, and we can post your photo and story anonymously.

The final cards - the ones that mattered.

26/11/2020

Did you know that, even if you do nothing else, putting your feelings into words can bring relief? With the Mixed Emotions card deck, that doesn’t have to be hard.

When loved ones have a deck of their own, you can ask, “How do you feel?” and they’ll be able to answer in detail. And when you have a deck, you’ll be better equipped to describe how you feel, too.

Discovering the emotions that you and your loved ones have in common can foster connection—even when you’re apart.

For the first time ever, Mixed Emotions cards are 25% off, and shipping within the US via Media Mail is free.

Use the discount code RELIEFAWAITS
before Sunday, November 29 at 11:59 PST.

https://www.mixed-emotions.com/

02/11/2020

Are we there yet?

A few weeks after Daylight Saving Time began here in Washington State, the governor issued a stay-at-home order and since then, the world has been aflame.

As I turned back my clock today, I found myself wishing I could return to “standard” or “normal” time—the time before Covid-19, before the hurricanes, the wildfires, social injustice, and intolerable politics.

The only antidote I’ve found to all this uncertainty is to focus on the moment I’m in, and one of the things that helps me do that is to tune in to my emotions.

How do I feel right now? I feel trapped, unsure, afraid, vulnerable, and lonely. But I also feel, grateful, curious, hopeful, and receptive.

Are we there yet?

There is no “there.” All I know for sure is that there’s a “here.” And a “we.”

For the first time in my life, I can be reasonably sure that most people on the planet are feeling what I am for exactly the same reason. It reminds me of all we have in common, and that gives me hope.

09/09/2020

"Much has been written on the impact of the coronavirus pandemic on negative emotions, such as rising anxiety and the loneliness of self-isolation.

But while things may seem all doom and gloom, new data reveals it's surprisingly rare for a person to experience purely negative emotions. More commonly, people are instead experiencing mixed emotions, even during the COVID-19 pandemic."

Much has been written on the impact of the coronavirus pandemic on negative emotions, such as rising anxiety and the loneliness of self-isolation.

06/09/2020

John Cassian, a monk and theologian wrote in the early 5th century about an ancient Greek emotion called acedia. A mind "seized" by this emotion is "horrified at where he is, disgusted with his room … It does not allow him to stay still in his cell or to devote any effort to reading." He feels: "such bodily listlessness and yawning hunger as though he were worn by a long journey or a prolonged fast … Next he glances about and sighs that no one is coming to see him. Constantly in and out of his cell, he looks at the sun as if it were too slow in setting."

This sounds eerily familiar. Yet, the name that so aptly describes our current state was lost to time and translation.

With some communities in rebooted lockdown conditions and movement restricted everywhere else, no one is posting pictures of their sourdough. Zoom cocktail parties have lost their novelty, Netflix can only release so many new series. The news seems worse every day, yet we compulsively scroll through...

19/08/2020

When we're embarrassed or frustrated with our child’s outward displays of emotion, we often try to dismiss them. Even when our messages come from a place of love, they can still be counterproductive.

17/08/2020

"My biggest behavioral shift was noticing and facing my emotions."

If you want to stop emotional eating, recognize that it started as a symptom of something much larger—perhaps dissatisfaction with your career, finances, or relationships—something you didn’t want to face head on.

15/08/2020

Mixed Emotions cards can help with this! So often, the people in our lives WANT to love us, but we just don't have the words to communicate how we feel with them, or they with us.

"We argue badly and regularly principally because we lack an education in how to teach others who we are. Beneath the surface of almost every argument lies a forlorn attempt by two people to get the other to see, acknowledge, and respond to their emotional reality and sense of justice. Beyond the invective is a longing that our partner should witness, understand, and endorse some crucial element of our own experience.

A bad argument is a failed endeavor to communicate, which perversely renders the underlying message we seek to convey ever less visible. It is our very desperation that undermines us and ushers in the unreasonableness that prevents whatever point we lay claim to from making its way across. We argue in an ugly way because, in our times of distress, we lose access to all better methods of explaining our fears, frustrated hopes, needs, concerns, excitements, and convictions. And we do this principally because we are so scared that we may have ruined our lives by being in a relationship with someone who cannot fathom the inner movements of our souls. We would do things so much better if only we cared a little less.

We don’t, therefore, end up in bitter arguments because we are fundamentally brutish or resolutely demented, but because we are at once so invested and yet so incapable. It is the untutored force of our wish to communicate that impedes our steady ability to do so."

Beneath most fights is an attempt to get the other to respond to your emotional reality and sense of justice.

05/07/2020

The way to move beyond an unwelcome emotion is to feel and express it. In fact, the more specifically you can express your emotions, the better. If you really love to geek out to science, check out this summary of abstracts - naming your emotions really does make you feel better! But we all know that already, don't we? https://www.mixed-emotions.com/research

27/04/2020

What is fear disguised as in the people around you right now? What other emotions are wearing masks?

A few years ago, I came to a turning point in my parenting journey — I chose to be human. Instead of holding myself to an unreasonable standard or pressuring...