14/06/2021
STOP ACTING VICTIM
I always hear ladies say "He just used and dumped me, after all I suffered with him, after all I did for him ".
My dear friend, if you didn't give him your kidney, sell your father's land or give him a loan to start a business, you did nothing.
That you drank garri with him is because you're also broke. If not, you would have prepared a decent meal. That you stayed in the gutters or under the bridge with him is not a sacrifice, because if you had a palace, you wouldn't have done that.
About using you, my dear, if it was a mutual agreement between both of you, then you shouldn't say he used you. You both had fun and used yourselves.
The only reason you feel hurt and left out is because you abandoned yourself in his shadow. You lost yourself in him. While he is staying out at night thinking outside the box, while he's setting goals and achieving them, you were busy counting the days, waiting for him to blow or hammer. While he was investing in his future, you left yours stagnant without any meaningful long term plans. A young guy is struggling to survive, struggling to make it, but you will come in the name of girlfriend to ask him money for hair, shoes, cream, soap, pad, un**es, thereby spending what he's supposed to be saving or investing, and in the end, you begin to wail on how he used and dumped you after suffering with him.
My dearest sisters, my point is, stop supporting him in bed. Start supporting his dreams, ideas, and vision. As he's struggling to establish himself, strive to make yourself relevant, add values to yourself, make your own money, too. Don't depend totally on him.
If you don't contribute anything tangible either in cash, assistance, anything that's progressive or crucial towards his success, don't play victim if he gets tired of the relationship.
Times have changed. Men are no longer the only ones winning bread, women are now bread winners, too.
S*x is not enough!
Love is not enough!
Have a purpose!