The Connected Life

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The Connected Life The Connected Life is a podcast that is an honest exploration of the messiest issues that keep us disconnected from the world right in front of us.

(To get your hands on The Tree of Life head to Amazon: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4 )

14/12/2025

After betrayal, it’s easy to start questioning yourself.

This week on The Connected Life Podcast we have an important conversation on what to do after you’ve been betrayed.

The Connected Life, episode 362
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13/12/2025

Your body knew the truth before your mind could put words to it. Our bodies hold so much wisdom, but when someone downplays our reality, it’s easy to doubt ourselves.

Maybe you felt uneasy, a little off, or something just didn’t sit right. We want to believe the best, so we brush off the discomfort. But often, our gut picks up on things before we fully understand what’s happening.

Rebuilding trust in yourself is so important. Join us for a powerful conversation about this in our episode this week - Bouncing Back From Betrayal.

The Connected Life, episode 362
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12/12/2025

Betrayal can be so devastating, that bouncing back from its effects can feel nearly impossible at times.

When people betray us, we can feel we were fools for trusting them and that our time, energy, and effort were wasted.

The truth of the matter is that love is never wasted.

When we choose to love others well, we are sowing into an eternal harvest that transcends these moments of pain and suffering.

Looking back, the way I chose to love, not only in a relationship, but also in the aftermath of a relational betrayal, defined who I would be moving forward.

I’ve progressively learned how to turn betrayals into moments of growth and development.

The result has been that the messiest moments have been catalysts for love to heal and liberate me in ways I never thought were possible.

The Connected Life, episode 362

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10/12/2025

After betrayal, the person who broke trust often feels awful. They go all in—apologies, grand gestures, deep conversations, even counseling. And for a little while, things feel better. You’re finally connecting again, and it’s easy to feel like trust is being rebuilt.

But here’s the mistake: rebuilding trust too fast.

Just because someone is putting in effort now doesn’t mean they can sustain it. Real trust isn’t about short-term effort—it’s about long-term change. If you don’t see consistency over time, you’re not rebuilding trust, you’re just riding the high of temporary reconnection.

Healing from betrayal means watching for patterns, not just moments. Are they taking ownership? Are they making changes that last beyond the guilt? Because trust isn’t just about feeling connected again—it’s about knowing this change isn’t temporary.

This week on The Connected Life Podcast we have an important conversation on what to do after you’ve been betrayed.

The Connected Life, episode 362
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10/12/2025

When I confronted a clergy member about their sexual abuse, I did so with the intent of seeking to understand if he was getting healing for his destructive behavior or if he was still a danger and capable of this predatory behavior on other people in the future.

What I discovered is that he lacked the two key signs of a repentant person that is healing.

1. He couldn’t clearly explain how it came to be that he had made these destructive decisions, victimized all the men that he did, and simply chalked it up to broken and evil thinking.

2. He couldn’t empathetically describe the humiliating experience all of the victims must have had being under his leadership and how they must have felt powerless to the grooming that he had put them all through. There was no ability to enter into their shoes. Instead he went on about his shame. This narcissistic behavior was incredibly telling when he made it about him and not about the victims.

Understanding why we do destructive behaviors and how these behaviors must have impacted others are two factors that are a MUST to restore safety when someone has been violated or betrayed.

Without these two factors at the foundation of a repentance process, there is absolutely no guarantee a person won’t reoffend and trust should not be extended to them.

The Connected Life, episode 362

Comment “apology” and we’ll DM you the episode.
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09/12/2025

Betrayal can feel incredibly humiliating.

Many of us have experienced having our trust violated in early childhood development. Because of this, it can take a lot of courage to extend trust to others as an adult.

Lending our trust to others is incredibly vulnerable as we lay down our protective survival mechanisms and allow people in.

Having our trust handled poorly, after exposing ourselves in this way, can leave us feeling like fools.

When someone hurts us like this, oftentimes we turn on ourselves in regret and shame, when we should be having compassion.

Life is full of betraying experiences and having self-love in these moments can entirely change the way we go through them.

The Connected Life, episode 362

Comment “betrayal” and we’ll DM you the episode.

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07/12/2025

"Why don’t you know what I need—even though I don’t know what I need?"

That question haunted our marriage. I wasn’t trying to be hard to love—I was overwhelmed, lost in the panic of old wounds. Disorganized attachment isn’t about logic. It’s a body that remembers what it was like to need someone who wasn’t safe. So even when we deeply want connection, our nervous system says: this is dangerous.

This episode is raw and honest - diving into the messy places where old wounds meet present relationships.

The Connected Life, Episode 361: “Why You Push Love Away.”

Comment “partner” and we’ll send you the link.

06/12/2025

One of the most confusing experiences in a relationship is when the person who brings you comfort also triggers fear.

When someone is deeply loving and sometimes unpredictable, your nervous system doesn’t know whether to lean in or run.

This week’s episode explores the heartbreaking tension of wanting closeness but feeling unsafe and how people can begin to untangle that confusion together.

-The Connected Life, Episode 361: “Why You Push Love Away.”

Comment “confusing” and we’ll DM you the episode.

06/12/2025

“Leave me alone! …why didn’t you come after me?”

Disorganized attachment is confusing — for the person living it and the person loving them. I’d ask for space… and then feel abandoned when no one chased me.

I wasn’t trying to create chaos — I was just so dysregulated on the inside and had no idea how to get back to safety.

This week on the podcast, the three of us ( all disorganized attachers) have an honest conversation about what’s really going on beneath the push-pull — and how we’re learning to build relationships that actually feel safe and fulfilling. If we can do it, there’s hope for everyone. 😂

The Connected Life, Episode 361: “Why You Push Love Away.”

Comment “signals” and we’ll send you the link.

05/12/2025

My mom loved me too much.

Not in the safe, nurturing way — but in the “I can’t live without you” kind of way.

She needed me to be her emotional support, her secret keeper, and her safe place. And that was overwhelming for me as a kid, really it would be overwhelming for anyone.

It took me years to realize that what felt like closeness was actually something else — something that left me feeling guilty, panicked, and never enough.

This week, we talk about the cost of being your parent’s lifeline— and how that early confusion shows up in adult connection.

-The Connected Life, Episode 361: “Why You Push Love Away.”

Comment “parent” and we’ll send you the link.

04/12/2025

“Why can’t I let them in?”

So many of us ask this. We want to feel close. We want to feel safe. But our bodies remember what our minds try to forget.

Sometimes, the wall isn’t because we don’t love them—it’s because somewhere inside, love has felt dangerous in our past. And instead of realizing our nervous system is protecting us, we think, “I’m bad for not feeling more connected.”

This week’s episode is about understanding those walls and learning how to build safe connections.

-The Connected Life, Episode 361: “Why You Push Love Away.”

Comment “walls” and we’ll send you the link.

03/12/2025

Disorganized attachment is like… “Come close. No wait, go away. But also—why aren’t you chasing me?” 😬

The more I’ve understood my story and how attachment works, the more compassion I’ve had for myself — and the more hope I’ve found that healing is possible.

This week on the podcast, the three of us — all with disorganized attachment — share what it feels like when love triggers fear, and the ways we’re learning to bring more safety to ourselves and our relationships.

-The Connected Life, Episode 361: “Why You Push Love Away.”

Comment “hope” and we’ll send you the link.

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