07/09/2021
Is there anything else quite like motherhood? Most days the challenges of mothering pushes me to what feels like my end: the end of my patience, the end of my physical energy and strength, the end of my fantasies about what kind of mom I am… And then there is the love—the white-hot, pulsating love in my chest for these little humans at times is beyond what I can hold, and I sometimes feel as though I could burst.
And while motherhood is rapidly challenging and expanding us, sometimes we’re not sure how to bring our faith along in this expansion.
It may be practical, logistical issues of how am I supposed to nurture my faith, find time to pray, read the Bible, etc with the unceasing demands of motherhood?
Because of the time of life we are at when we create our families it may coincide with normal but unnerving developmental changes in our faith experience. It may feel to us as though God is distant, our prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling and our faith experience is devoid of the warm feelings it once had.
The education of motherhood can sometimes challenge the heart. As our capacities for love and grief have multiplied with each child (that we have held in our arms or in only our heart), we may not see the world and the people in it the same way as we once did. Issues that seemed black and white before are now more nuanced and swirled with confusing gray.
This can bring about some cognitive dissonance within our own minds. “I was taught that the Bible said____ but I’m not sure how that jives with my growing understanding of love or my actual experience of people.”
Compounding our confusion is our sense of isolation. If we are honest, many of us feel deeply isolated, even if we have a calendar full of playdates and mom’s groups. Mom conversations are so often an exchange of sentence fragments between managing the littles. It’s good to be in the physical presence of another friend, but it is rare to have felt like we actually communicated in a way that left us feeling heard and known. Or in the case of the mom groups, we might find ourselves caught up in comparing mom skills or getting tips on how to handle our kids, but again, rarely do we feel seen.
And for some of us, the isolation can be deeper still if we are in a place of working out our faith as we are growing and maturing as people. I can speak from my own experience, that it felt impossible for me to bring up my own emerging questions, or even doubts about certain aspects of my faith or theology for fear of being judged or silently excluded from the group. I didn’t want to appear as unfaithful to Jesus or appear to be questioning the theology that my faith system had handed to me. I didn’t want to lose my place as a trusted, even admired, leader in my faith community.
If any of these resonate with you, let me offer you an intimate, judgement-free space, where you can be seen and cared for in these tender places: group spiritual direction. This is not a mothering support group, but a place for honest grappling and exploring our faith. We are going to get curious together about what God is inviting you to in this stage of your life. I will invite you to try new prayer practices. I will be guarding group safety, coaching on deep listening and discernment skills. But mostly, we create a sacred space for authentic sharing and holy listening. We will meet for five sessions that are every 2-3 weeks. Each session will be two hours over Zoom. The cost for the group is $250.
2 groups have openings:
Monday nights, 8-10pm PDT
9/27, 10/18, 11/1, 11/15, 12/6
Friday mornings, 9-11am PDT
9/24, 10/15, 10/29, 11/12, 12/3
Please message me here if you are interested in grabbing one of these spots! Please also let me know if you are interested but these times just don't work for you.
