True Tales of the Illuminati

03/04/2024

Good News, everyone!

Our listeners have blown us away and we have made our 9k funding goal for a third five-episode season of True Tales of the Illuminati, a audio comedy about over-worked, underpaid stooges of the illuminati and their bizarre, pathetic failures to change history as we know it.

There's four new minisodes up on the feed for your listening enjoyment--including Tom Crowley’s (Wooden Overcoats, Victoriocity) The Quibblerman Conundrum, a love letter to 50s sci-fi about an intrepid scientist awakening a ‘terrifying secret’ from ‘space’--which will hopefully tide you over until we release our third season, which will not be about space, but rather, about the Enlightenment. What will Beck, Jackie and Ishmael do when they're exposed to a decadent world of philosophy and monographs? Certainly, they wouldn't prefer reading books, drinking in greenhouses and kissing to a life of meaningless propaganda and drudgery… would they?

Thank you so much to everyone who donated to the crowdfund. Our show is, frankly, lavishly produced for something of its size and we don't run ads--everything we make is 100% listener supported. If you like fast-paced, stupid comedy described as "Inside Job meets The Emperor's New Groove" (Inside Job fact: we were first) we hope you'll give us a listen.

Alright, that’s enough from us, thanks for tolerating all of our posting here this month, and a million thanks to those of you who saw our pleas and decided to support us. We’ll see you soon.

Illuminati, Ollominoto,
The True Tales Team

01/04/2024

Hello Everyone!

We are so humbled and pleased to announce that we have made our crowfunding goal and can now release Tom Crowley's (of Victoriocity and Crowley Time) brilliaint guest episode, THE QUIBBLERMAN CONUNDRUM, to the general listening public. I want to make some sort of smart-ass joke about algorhythmic dating apps but I'm just too blown away by the generosity of the listening public standing behind our desire to make indedepent, listener supported and ad-free comedy.

There's only a scant few hours left in the crowdfund, so if you want to pick up a backer thank you gift for yourself, whether it's a sticker or a pin or a zine of all the jokes we had to leave on the cutting room floor for Season 3, now is your last chance. Once again, THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for all your support!

27/03/2024

Ha ha hump day, am I right?
*swivels chair around and sits on it backwards*
Now I know we have a lot of fun here, but I just got hit with an incredible amount of work at my day job, so I'll keep it brief.

We're at $7.5k raised towards season 3 of True Tales of the Illuminati, which is amazing! But we've only got 6 days left to raise the rest in order to make season 3 of our conspiratorial audio comedy. Can you help us get there?

Okay let me just get up from this chair - oop!

*catches foot in the legs and falls through a nearby drum*

25/03/2024

Our 2/3 milestone minisode 'Basket Case' is now available on your True Tales of the Illuminati feed! Featuring Taqi Nazeer
of The Kingmaker Histories, in this minisode gang deals with a lot of petty wickering. Er, bickering. No, we wait, we were right the first time, it's a wickering.

Want more True Tales? Help us make season 3 and unlock our final minisode of the campaign at truetalesteam.com/crowdfund. If you back us at $5 or above, even if we don't make the full fund, you'll still be able to listen to The Quibblerman Conundrum, a half-hour special written by and guest starring Tom Crowley of Wooden Overcoats, Victoriocity and more!

We're in the final week of the campaign now, so if you've been waiting to back us, now is the time! If you can't afford it right now, then please, share, review, or tell a friend about the show! Every bit helps, and we need all of it.

24/03/2024

We are within spitting distance of 2/3 funded and our third minisode! Can you help us start our last week of crowdfunding off with a bang?

23/03/2024

We're less than $150 from our 2/3 milestone, and an all-new minisode! Can we get there by the end of the weekend?

Truetalesteam.com/crowdfund

22/03/2024

It's Friday so this one is gonna be brief. (You're welcome).

We're about to enter the final full week of our crowdfund to make season 3 of True Tales of the Illuminati! There are so many gags and goofs that I want to share with you, but we still need to record them! And to do that, we gotta raise the money for it.

So instead I'm gonna show you a bunch of memes that we've made about season 3 moments and ask you to back us so you can figure out how they hell they make sense.

21/03/2024

I'm back! And I brought a meme! Yes, the universally adored method of talking to people through images and words, that is legally distinct from a comic!

We're still crowdfunding season 3 of True Tales of the Illuminati our audio drama podcast about conspiracies gone wrong, and we have 12 days left to go to meet our goal. I think that the coming season is our best yet, with five full episodes, romance, weird sendups of Enlightenment philosophers, extended kick-fight sequences and the most jokes we can fit in per square inch.

If that sounds cool to you, please help us make it! We have a bunch of neat crowdfunding perks, minisodes that are coming out as we hit milestones, and a fun hat!*

Thanks everybody! Link is in the comments as per usual.

*ok I made up the hat, but I needed a third thing

19/03/2024

We've still got our noses to the crowdfund grindstone over at True Tales of the Illuminati HQ. We've now hit 50% funded, which is amazing! But of course we do still have 50% left to go, and every night our chief producer looks at that little bar on the crowdfund and cartoonishly mops his brow.

Why are tiny blue cell-shaded drops appearing on his forehead, you ask? Because we have only 14 remaining days to raise a little over 4k for our stupidly ambitious 5-episode season two.

We're so excited to bring another season of this (twice audioverse finalist!) show to you, our favorite yet, and bring it to life with the help of our incredible voice actors. Who, by the way, your can get to say whatever you want* as one of our backer tiers. Note that our limited-backer tiers for those of you who were wise enough not to invest in bitcoin are still completely untaken, including the chance to pick a minisode for our next season's crowdfund (you can even pitch one for our consideration!)

If you can't back, we'd love if you shared on social media! Our backer count spikes every time we pop up on people's feeds, so it really does make a difference. We live in a hell future where our success or failure is determined by complex marketing algorithms! Just like the Illuminati envisioned. Or as the motto goes, "Obey the algorithm and you'll be in heaven!" I guess we should just be proud they managed a slant-rhyme
Our next milestone is at $6k, when we’ll be releasing the minisode Basket Case, which sees Beck and co go up against the Druids and their many nefarious stone calendars. It also features another guest, our good friend Taqi Nazeer as High Druid Corbin. You may recognize Taqi as the voice of mechanical mage Eisen from fellow historical adventure-comedy The Kingmaker Histories.

After that we’ll have one more at the final goal of $9k, written and starring Wooden Overcoats’ own Tom Crowley! That’s right, we’ve got guest stars for days!

If you back us at $5 or more, we guarantee that regardless of the money we raise, after the crowdfund closes you’ll get to listen to all of the minisodes that we’ve produced. But if we don't make it to our funding goal, then only backers will get to listen to the full complement of the minisodes that we’ve prepared for this crowdfund, and all of the rest of you will have to live a twisted half-life without the sensual tones of Tom Crowley saying classy, poetic words in British English like "be****al mentality" and "phantom dolphin". We wouldn’t wish that on anyone!

So, if you’ve read this far and we haven’t completely lost you with talk of druids and dolphins, then please, please head on over to truetalesteam.com/crowdfund and pledge today.

Illuminati Ollominoto,
The True Tales Team

*Be cool or we will say no

An audio comedy podcast about the misadventures of the most powerful secret society in history! | Check out 'True Tales of The Illuminati: Season 3!' on Indiegogo.

15/03/2024

We are officially at 50% funded! Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed so far, we are officially over the hill! If you haven't backed, there's still 18 days to help us get the rest of the way and to pick up some cool backer perks along the way!

01/03/2024

Our crowdfund launches today! But first, you can enjoy "Horsin Around', the all-new minisode that just dropped in our feed to help kick it off! Illuminati Ollominoto!

21/02/2024

Hello. We are not dead.

In a couple of weeks we will be launching a crowdfund for an all-new season. It is very, very good and funny, and we hope you will support it when we do.

We’ll be kicking the crowdfund off with an all-new minisode, the first of four that will drop as we hit funding milestones.

We’ve got some real treats in store for you, including a mini written by and starring a special guest.

Illuminati, Ollominoto!

12/10/2022

We're up for an Audioverse Award again this year! If you've enjoyed the latest season of True Tales, your vote would mean the world to us

This is the Finalist Voting Ballot for the 2022 Audio Verse Awards. PLEASE READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY. Thank you for taking the time to vote for who you feel is the best in Audio Fiction. As art is subjective we use a preferential voting system to determine the results of these awards. These....