Jaelin S.

30/03/2024

Something something getting back to doing art again because I’m trying to use all my skills to lean in a direction I wanna go to

13/03/2024

TikTok being banned but you won’t call for a cease fire in Gaza because of oil.
TikTok being banned but there’s a housing crisis
TikTok being banned but you’re removing covid restrictions and forcing sick people back to work
TikTok being banned and Trans people are being treated like second class citizens
TikTok being banned but people can’t have a live able wage
TikTok being banned but cops are killing black and brown people without any impunity
TikTok being banned but you got N***s, TERFs, and force birthers running around on Facebook and twitter running amok
TikTok being banned but we have sh*tty education and healthcare system exasperated by a pandemic you’re choosing to ignore and down play because guess what the CDC says it’s not as bad yet people are dying.
TikTok being banned but apparently we can’t even have a union, labor rights protected , or codified
Of all the things you could do, with all that power and y’all focus on TikTok because it’s a “foreign entity which sells information “ like any other website does.

27/12/2023

Not me getting an A- on the paper to at I was sweating and crying about for three weeks 👀👀👀

26/10/2023

A score and 9 autumn’s passed us on by
I didn’t think about the number, why?
I saw kalaidescopes of dreams and tears
and some yearning, of pain and sorrows fear;
Days that followed with laughter and morning.
As sure with every grateful sacred breath,
I breathe, love I treasure beats my chest.

As wisdoms come with waning youth well spent
And providence from heaven surely sent.
For I to live when others perish and fade.
I chart my journey, through water I’ll wade.
My stars, they are a wizened humble guide
Ancestral winds do blow and help me glide.

The day has come alive! My soul still stir.
It’s sweetened breath as Frankincense and myrrh 
I am that I am a reflection of divine
I pray with Nike steps it will be mine!

18/10/2023

Long post about grief (excuse the typos it was voice to text)

It’s OK to say goodbye
Even though it hurts when
those words are formed .

It’s not the end, but a turn of a page
The closing of one chapter the beginning of another
It’s simply to be sad when all things are left and spoken
But give the room for words to grow, especially the ones unspoken

It’s OK you can cry
For the memories that you shared or evidence of their existence
That ache you feel where your heart is placed it’s in the shape of the ones you loved, and had to let go
Sadness always follows the rain, but flowers sprout after and sun will shine again
So it’s OK I want you to cry
It means so much to those who are left behind
And sometimes to cry, no tears need to be shed
Sometimes it is actions it is words it is deeds in its stead
Steadfast we hold on to the ashes and embers of the past but eventually we have to let go
The winds will carry those memories into the great unknown, for only known are those who crossed the other side
Yes, they earned their roses too
Don’t forget to leave some space in your garden to plant and to pluck out weeds to make space.
It would be a lie to say that this would be the last goodbye. It would be a lie to say that there will be no more reasons to cry, but with every sunrise, we will find more joy, more happiness, better days, cold nights, warm, lazy suns and vibrant mornings. Yes, all we can do is move forward but in this moment, when we say our last goodbyes, when the last pedal falls into the coffin and the last of the repast is suddenly done. Dishes scraped, utensils, put away flowers carried into the car, the pictures and memories that flow through us to us when things get tough. In those moments, they will carry us when the strength is gone, they will carry us when it hurts. They will be the blanket in those cold nights. They will be the link to those conversations we once had with each other and as much as they will hurt, they will also heal because it will remind us of the person that once was and remind us of what they would want for us it hurts
But it’s so important that we do our best to move forward for their journey is over. Their race has been won. The Marathon continues for us, and we must carry with us those burdens of their memory. It will condition us. It will be heavy as first, but like wings, it will be light. And like light, it will shine away for us, when things feel dark and lost take this moment, and look look at the results of the connections that were once made, cherish those connections, and if you cannot do that honor that memory.

10/10/2023

If I where to die
Before I wake
I thank the lord for the sunset
I’d thank him for the love lost and love found
I’d thank him for all he peace and round
Nature oh nature your gentle silent song
A lullaby and herald for the night
Summer set and now is fall
And cool is the air that follows
Yet we who drink every golden drop
Savoring each morsel of this sweet dew
For even the sun sets
And the night calls

And dawn is here again
Dawn with promise sprung anew
As the northern birds fly south
They too return to home.
As salmon swim up stream
It begins once again.

Life goes on. Beauty is found
Nothing is ever truly lost

04/10/2023

Home: Or a entry by cpt. Otis
I look among Calypsian-blue shores
Dawn encroaches the sands grain by white grain;
/Cut off/ My mind is strained I grow insane.
She sleeps my captor (and I prisoner).

The minds eye shows you are near me dear love.
Eyes ever facing toward the blue sea;
Some signs the shores, the port, something from me.
For answers, closure, from the God's above.

I pray that with ev'ry. Pulsing. breath that,
I find that ship with my weapons and men
Gods forgive me, my arrogance and fault-

What's this? A distant ship! How close but drat!
She wakes my lover, jailer, and chieftain.
Bound in her warmth, in pleasure like a vault.

-By Jaelin St.Clair

08/06/2023

A late lunch because I forget to eat.
Garlic fried rice
With left over Buggogi and 3 eggs

16/05/2023

Some late poems

16/05/2023

https://gofund.me/1808bbdd
Hey guys! I got accepted into gradschool! So I’m doing a gofundme to help raise money to get me on my feet. So far I raised 200 and looking to do more. A share, a like, or even a dollar will help

Hi, my name is Jaelin St.Clair and as you know I have been accepted into Grad school! What started a… Jaelin St.Clair needs your support for Gradschool funds

12/03/2023

Capitalism has us disconnected from our humanity in ways that are horrific. In exchange for our time and labor we are compensated for it. A fraction of our existence is to sustain ourselves and by extension society. Yet, the more time we give to capitalism the less we have to experience our human existence. Community, family, friends, the individual all suffer at this imbalance. Capitalism is also a flawed system that is failing. History is repeating itself, the system fail and scapegoats are needed. It was Jewish people in the 40s now it’s Trans People and by extension the LGBTQ+ community. (They come for one they’ll come for us all).

Some people want this, thinking it’s all of Gods plan, to get rid of the wicked and unworthy invaders of Gods kingdom. These people do not know Gods love, they come from a culture of religious extremism which is rooted within the American identity. If you believe this, then that is not the God I worship nor are we kin.

I’m writing this because I’m asking you, to ask this important question. Why?
Why are we targeting trans people because what they’re predators? Why?
How many trans people vs how many teachers, youth pastors, coaches, parental figures, family members actually committed the crime. Why?
What are they really distracting us from? Why?

Why?

We are all connected and our actions affect those around us in ways we cannot comprehend. The ripples your create from these choices can and speak volumes to your character. The thing is you can always change, until your final breath you can choose your humanity over your hatred. All you have to ask yourself is why?

03/02/2023

Procrastination levels are high today

with

25/07/2022

Puzzle pieces: it doesn't make sense now maybe tomorrow.

A
I am not a thing to be solved
A enigma of the mind.
I dance upon my tippy toes to music I can find.
The sounds too loud the texture too rough. Emotions are wild- please enough.
I'm finding myself again, aloft and lost in sensory noise. The clicking and clacking of pens and tapping and rapping of paper.
S
I'm not a puzzle to be solved. An enigma to my own eyes. A mirror that did not gaze itself and even recognize.
Patterns though dazzling repeat itself with time. Patterns are simply threads mathematically arranged and then sub- divide. I'm trying to understand the tapestry woven by my past. How it stumbled in the dark loom in hand abstract in rhythm I didn't understand.
D
I'm not a puzzled peace arrogant nor divine. A golden child on a pedestal that shell hollow in bronze. It no longer fit me. I no longer understood the loom, the sound, the sensory it didn't add up. Add Subtract Divi(n)/de
I only use a language that I can understand. It doesn't transcribe to normal hands. So with their hands they seek to break, to mold, to form an equation and shape. At the cost of its structure. Yet sometimes for its own sake.