26/07/2024
One of the many things I love about the wonderful writer and better family man, Brad Meltzer is the stories about his parents he has shared. Each year, he shares what he wrote about him Mom and what he wrote about his Dad after they passed. I am no Brad Meltzer but I was told by those whose opinion I treasure, I did ok in my talk at Mom's funeral. I'm sharing it here so there will be a record. Many, many years ago Bear Bryant had a TV commercial for the phone company and at the end he asked, have you called your Mama today? I sure wish I could call mine. Take the time to call someone you love and tell them what they mean to you. I promise you will be glad you did and they will be glad to hear from you.
July 24, 2024 - Glenda Joan Jackson
I will provide for you And I'll stand by your side
You'll need a good companion for This part of the ride
Leave behind your sorrows Let this day be the last
Tomorrow there'll be sunshine And all this darkness past
Big wheels roll through fields Where sunlight streams
Meet me in a land of hope and dreams
Today, we say goodbye for now, to Meme, to some she is our mother, to others a Grandmother, a great grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, and to all of us here, beloved friend.
When Rita called me early Sunday morning to share the news, my first reaction was relief and gratitude. It is easy to be selfish but for the past few years, Mom has been in pain and has been away from her beloved home in fact you can say Mom’s life journey was one filled with ups and downs.
The bible says -
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
There is a line in a Bruce song where he says I got your guitar here by the bed All your favorite records and all the books that you read And though my soul feels like it's been split at the seams I'll see you in my dreams. Mom loved music. Growing up there was always music playing be it on the radio in the house or on the car radio, the record player or the TV. I often make the joke that I grew up listening to both kinds of music, County and Western, but the truth was she loved Fats Domino, Bobby Darin and many early rock pioneers. WE watched Glen Campbell, Johnny Cash and Hee Haw on our TV. I can remember the joy she had when she first heard the late great Charly Pride singing Kiss an Angel good morning. When Kenneth was working in Mississippi, she would sing Louisiana Women/Mississippi man while we were driving to visit him. Mom was a avid reader, always paperbacks, always purchased at the Garage sale. Heaven forbid she buy a book at retail. After her stroke, and I was staying at her house, I saw the pile of books that I had bought her put up in the closet like they were precious gifts and I cried.
Glenda Joan was a bad ass! When our father served in Vietnam, she was a calming presence for Rita & I as we worried about our Dad in war that we were seeing on TV. She traveled to Germany with us 3 kids, when Dad was stationed overseas before she was thirty. In the days of no cell phones and no GPS, she would get in the car with us kids, all piled up in the back of the station wagon and head from Kentucky to Louisiana so she could visit with her beloved Claude and Cutsie. She was incredibly close to her parents and towards the end of their lives, she took on the role of caregiver along with Uncle Raymond and Aunt Claudette . She was buried two husbands, both she loved and cared for. She was there for her aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends as someone who could be counted on to provide a kind word, a meal or just a healing visit.
When you talk about our Meme, cooking has to be mentioned. I don’t remember seeing my Mom insulted very often but I remember once someone asked if there would be enough food if they brought someone extra to Mom’s house. I remember her saying in an indigent voice, “where has there every been a time that there wasn’t enough food at my house.” Linda loves to tell the story that Mom was visiting in Dallas and she took the big bowl we used to service popcorn in and filled it with various ingredients and after a few minutes, she had a pan of unbaked biscuits ready for the oven. All of them the same size and without a trace of left over dough. Linda called them magic biscuits. After Linda’s dad died, we were all at Margaret’s house and mom brought over a pot of gumbo, we still call ti grieving gumbo and will mention how good it tasted to a house filled with sad people. I can remember cold Sunday afternoons where she would make homemade candy or her cooking a pot of beans not for today’s meal, but for tomorrow’s mean because Beans always tasted better on the 2nd day. We grew up with almost fresh cornbread or biscuits for every nighttime meal. From fresh roasted peanuts, to lemon pie, to rice & gravy, to Chicken and dumplings, food was a way for my Mom to say she loved you.
Mom was inclusive. One thing that I always loved is that during the holidays, she would pick a random Saturday either before or after Christmas day and say “this is my Christmas” that is when she would do her tree and her big meal. That way no one had to choose between going to her house or an in-laws house. Mom loved everyone coming over but as she started to get older she did start to get a little stressed but once she stopped to go smoke (or go cut the grass) she would be OK.
I’m sure each of you have stories where Meme made sure that you had a little extra cash for a trip, or a prom or some other event. You knew that you were going to get a birthday card from her. And as we are mourning, it’s good to remember the words Jesus shared.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
Mom and I had our issues, I don’t know if any child/parent that doesn’t. Part of the growing up process is seeing your parents faults and failings and then as you become a parent, become humbled when you see how hard they have it, because you are going through the same path.
Over the past two years, I’ve missed being able to call her on the phone, to hear the medical podcast, to share a story about the passing of a musician or celebrity that meant something to us both. Seeing her once or twice a year, sitting with her in the living room, hearing her tell stories about her life and those who loved her. Never again will we get a text from her saying go cowboys, never again will we get a package in the mail filled with treasures (and sometimes junk) that she found for us at a Garage Sale. No more phone calls no more birthday cards, no more advice but we all need to remember that as long as we remember her, she will always be with us.
I'll see you in my dreams
When all our summers have come to an end
I'll see you in my dreams
We'll meet and live and laugh again
I'll see you in my dreams
Yeah, up around the river bend
For death is not the end
And I'll see you in my dreams
