New South Essays

27/04/2024

It's a busy season for Carla Barron Wallace and me with the end of college, end of the school year, wedding anniversary and lots of performances enriching our calendar. In all the hustle and bustle, though, we couldn't possibly miss out on celebrating our middle son, Harris Wallace, who turns 19 on May 2. In honor of his birthday week, here's last year's New South Essays post about the origins of his name. We're proud of Harris and all he is achieving at Mercer. We wish him the best as he takes his final exams this week, and we look forward to celebrating his birthday next weekend. https://newsouthessays.com/2022/04/30/whats-in-a-name-part-1/

20/04/2024

I've been doing a lot of small talk lately, and I'm wondering if small talk is different in the South and the New South in particular. This week's all new New South Essay raises these and other pressing questions you're sure to have an opinion about. What are your go-to topics? Hope you're mommer 'n 'em are doing OK in this economy and that storm didn't keep them from seeing the Braves game! https://newsouthessays.com/2024/04/20/small-talk/

13/04/2024

The depths of my grief cannot be shared in a single Facebook post. I've dedicated an entire New South Essay to processing the loss of my beloved Gillette Sensor and how I'm coping. This week's all new, special edition is dedicated to all who strive for "the best a man can get." (Thanks, Carla Barron Wallace, for providing a loaner.)

This week marked the end of an era. For more than 30 years I have been shaving with a Gillette Sensor razor. The same Gillette Sensor razor. That all came to a sudden and tragic end the evening of …

06/04/2024

So if StyleBlueprint is now one of my influences and Carla Barron Wallace influenced me into subscribing, does that make her a double influencer? This week's New South Essay unwinds the twisting tale of how I discovered the most amazing corner of the internet and that I was susceptible to marketing to women. https://newsouthessays.com/2024/04/06/styleblueprint-monitors-and-sets-trends-in-the-new-south/

30/03/2024

Last weekend, Carla Barron Wallace and I made a pilgrimage to Nashville. Man, it's a happenin' place, ripe for a New South Essays travelogue. What we did and saw is this week's all-new post:

They say what happens in Nashvegas stays in Nashvegas.  Well, I’m not sure that’s exactly how it goes, but either way, I’m about to spill most of the beans about a recent trip Carla and I took…

23/03/2024

With the beginning of the NCAA Men's and Women's Basketball tournaments this week, I've been seeing a lot of posts on social media from my fellow Mercerians about the historic moment Mercer beat Duke in the first round. Amazingly, that was 10 years ago. So, to help us all relive the glory, here's the New South Essay post I wrote about suddenly feeling a burst of Mercer athletic pride. Go Bears!

I had just wrapped up a conference call and had about 15 minutes until I needed to leave my office for my next meeting on the other side of the Georgia Tech campus. A quick check of the Mercer-Duke…

16/03/2024

I don't know what's worse, passing the 50th birthday milestone myself a few years back or seeing my younger brother cross the "Keenager" threshold. Tomorrow is Lee Wallace's 50th birthday, and though I understand he is under the weather and not in much of a celebratory mood, I thought I would share two New South Essays I've posted in the past to let him know how much I love and respect him. We don't get to spend nearly enough time together, and it's been a few years now since we've been able to see each other, but as the years accumulate, I feel acutely what family means and my need to have him in my life. Happy birthday, Lee, and I hope when you do feel like celebrating, you make a 50 a memorable one.

Between these two posts, I think you get the picture. https://newsouthessays.com/2013/03/16/my-little-brother-the-leprechaun/
https://newsouthessays.com/2022/03/12/appreciating-my-brothers-part-1/

09/03/2024

All those leftovers aren't going to eat themselves, amiright? This week's all new, special edition of New South Essays digs into the quintessential question Carla Barron Wallace has been asking since she married me: Why is my husband insane? My approach to packing a lunch and Sharon Elrod Wallace's influence is revealed at https://newsouthessays.com/2024/03/09/method-to-my-leftover-madness/

02/03/2024

I haven't lived in Macon, Georgia, since 2002, but every March I think about the city turning pink for the Cherry Blossom Festival. This year's festivities run March 15-24, but given our recent warm weather, something tells me the blossoms may be out early. No matter what the blooms do, the pink blazers won't show up until the Ides of March. This week's post dates all the way back to the first month of New South Essays in 2011.

My general fashion rule for a sports coat is this: Navy only unless you’ve just won a golf tournament. As the 2011 Cherry Blossom Festival comes to a close this weekend in my former city of residen…

24/02/2024

In the New South, you do not have to wonder where your adult children are. But is that healthy? This week's all new post looks at Life 360 and grown children.

In the middle of a recent busy working weekend, I suddenly realized I had no idea where my children were. Now that’s not really a big deal because my boys are 23, 18 and 15, but it struck me as rar…

17/02/2024

Breaking news alert... dreams are weird. This week's all new post is about what's been going on in my subconscious and why I am suddenly remembering it.

I am not much of a dreamer. That’s not to say I don’t have hopes and dreams like any normal person. I just mean I don’t tend to dream much during my sleeping. Or, more accurately, I haven’t typical…

03/02/2024

If you think I'm giving you side eye, please bear with me. It's just my new fangled eye glasses. This week's all new, New South Essay details my gradual descent into blindness and the lessons I'm learning on this new adventure with progressive lenses. https://newsouthessays.com/2024/02/03/progressive-progress/

27/01/2024

Back in February of 2021 as we were emerging from the lock-down phase of the pandemic, I provided a valuable public service to the loyal readers of New South Essays. I introduced you to the 20-year, overnight success story that is comedian Dusty Slay. Well, the inevitable New South Essays bump in popularity followed, and Dusty has exploded onto the nation's consciousness. He just released an hour-long Netflix special, Working Man, and for my Atlanta-area readers, he's performing at the Woodruff Arts Center on March 30. If you missed this post back when I originally shared it or you are just now discovering Dusty's comedy, I encourage you to revisit this essay.

With all of this talk of viruses, pandemics and vaccinations, I’ve recently gotten a hold of some of the best medicine, thanks to Nashville-based comedian Dusty Slay. I have reached the point in li…

20/01/2024

On Monday my dad will celebrate his 80th birthday, the perfect time to revisit this New South Essays tribute from 2022. Happy birthday, Dad! I hope it's a great day.

Today’s post is in celebration of my dad’s 78th birthday. All relationships are complicated at times, and the bond between fathers and sons is especially freighted with family history, birth order …

13/01/2024

Ok, Barron Wallace and Harris Wallace, pay attention. This is what I want at my 80th birthday party. Carla Barron Wallace planned a fantastic celebration for Cynthia Barron last week and Sharon Elrod Wallace and I have been scheming about my dad's 80th coming up. All that made me think about how I wanted my 80th birthday to be celebrated. This week's New South Essay contains my wishes if I should reach that milestone. What would you want at your 80th or what did you have at your 80th? https://newsouthessays.com/2024/01/13/aint-no-party-like-an-80th-birthday-party/

06/01/2024

Texas-based Buc-ee's has become the official fillin' station of the New South. This week's essay explains why:

I believe it was William Shakespeare who first said, “Get thee to a Buc-ee’s,” in his 1603 groundbreaking work, “Hamlet.” And folks traveling the South’s major highways have been flocking to the al…

31/12/2023

New South Essays is on a holiday hiatus this week, so we're pulling this very special episode from the archives. Originally posted for Valentine's 2022, this is a look back at my engagement to Carla Barron Wallace 27 years ago today. CONTENT ADVISORY: Be forewarned that this post is excessively romantic and may not be suitable for all readers. https://newsouthessays.com/2022/02/12/rigorously-pre-planned-spontaneous-romance%ef%bf%bc/

23/12/2023

We didn’t “skip Christmas” this year with a Caribbean cruise, we just celebrated Carla Barron Wallace’s 50th birthday the way Luther and Nora Krank wanted to. Considering a cruise at Christmas? Check out this week’s New South Essay and see if it’s for you. http://newsouthessays.com/2023/12/23/cruising-at-christmas/

21/12/2023

Another New South Essay is coming your way Saturday. Until then, here’s this month’s View from the Pew on the topic of the Nativity scene. I hope you are having a meaningful and joyous Christmas season.

Christmas has a lot of baggage to be sure, but there is something special about worship during this overstuffed season that I appreciate.

16/12/2023

Deception is proving to be the most effective communication tool in the New South, so I've adopted that strategy for this year's Official Wallace Family Christmas Letter. Get all the juicy gossip at

Last year I decided to revive the tradition of sending a family Christmas letter. I used the internet sensation that is New South Essays rather than putting ink on paper, and it went viral! Well, n…

09/12/2023

Having trouble focusing this time of year with the onslaught of holiday stuff? The struggle is real. Coping strategies and hard-hitting, in-depth analysis await in this week's all new, special holiday edition of New South Essays... https://newsouthessays.com/2023/12/09/holiday-countdown-itis/

02/12/2023

Your kids' Christmas lists got you down? This essay from 2011 will cheer you up! It gets worse! Nostalgic for simpler times...

That children inherit certain physical and personality traits from their parents is indisputable. Carla and I are both planners and list makers, so it should be no surprise that our children follow…

25/11/2023

New South Essays is enjoying some turkey and pumpkin pie leftovers today while decorating for Christmas. So instead of a fresh, hot take on contemporary Southern culture, we have this warmed up leftover of a post on why our family has switched sides in the Clean Old-Fashioned Hate rivalry between Georgia and Georgia Tech, which will be played tonight in Atlanta. I promise, we are not bandwagoners. We did it for the children...

We’ve reached that special time in the college football season when interstate and intrastate rivals meet head-to-head for bragging rights, championships and bowl invitations. If your family surviv…

18/11/2023

I can't help but wonder this Thanksgiving, "What if this is the last time we have all our boys home for our family celebration?" This week's all new New South Essay asks what happens when traditions end. https://newsouthessays.com/2023/11/18/when-traditions-end/

11/11/2023

Man, she's amazing. Happy 50th, Carla. This week's post is dedicated to her and what makes her special.

On Monday, Nov. 13, 2023, Carla Barron Wallace turns 50. There, the secret is out. I’m just glad she has finally caught up with me because I’m tired of how eagerly she reveals my age (53) to people…

04/11/2023

I've got a fever, and the only cure is more musicals! This week's post: how I came to be infected by musical theater and how it's not as bad as I feared.

Last weekend Carla and I saw the play “Fairycakes” at Oglethorpe University. There was one musical number and a reprise, but the show could not be classified as a musical. It was both poignant and …

28/10/2023

How do you like your horror? I prefer the classics. Which is to say, I don't really like horror, but Alfred Hitchcock knew what he was doing when he made "Psycho." This week's all new post explains how I traumatized myself. What movies give you the creeps?

Next week is Halloween, and scary movie season is back. For some reason, everywhere I go this year I’m confronted with the question, “What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?” Having recently in…

21/10/2023

In the New South, people just don't talk like they used to. This week's post is a lament for the disappearing Southern accent.

Several stories recently caught my eye about a new study from University of Georgia researchers about the death of the Southern accent. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and The Wall Street Journal,…

14/10/2023

Dogs are man's best friend and all, but do they replace your children? I'm beginning to believe they think they should. This week's all new essay reveals a canine solution to an emptying nest.

It’s weird that it feels weird to have a full house again this weekend. Carlton’s two older brothers have returned home to celebrate his 15th birthday today (the actual day was Oct. 10). Just when …

07/10/2023

Southern comedians are having a moment, thanks to Nate Bargatze. I'm here for it. This week's all-new, New South Essay explains how Nate made me internet famous:

It may be hard for loyal readers of New South Essays to comprehend, but despite my weekly posts and myriad social media quips, my work remains largely unknown and unappreciated. Don’t get me wrong,…