The Bunion

22/08/2023

september 9th. be there. are you funny?

18/08/2023

rsvp will be available sometime. welcome to bu!!

08/08/2023

shame your roommates and their building in the comments below.

15/06/2023

introducing the bunion eboard of 2023-2024 through informative infographics

02/04/2023

Hey s***s, Giving Day is just around the corner and you know what we love more than making you laugh? Hearing your stupid f*cking opinions! Come down to the GSU on April 11th from 11 AM - 2 PM to tell us which chipmunk is getting the best head and we’ll return the favor. With food and merch. Not head.

01/04/2023

Hey guys so we got fed up with our editor in chief and sent her to a big farm upstate, sorry if it’s a slow news day

07/02/2023

It’s that time of the year again: in the midst of an intense breakdown triggered by wanting to switch your major for the fifth time, you come to the shocking realization that you haven’t fulfilled your Scientific Inquiry Hub. There’s no chance you’re taking CH101, so you’re left to scramble among 8AM lectures and 9PM lab periods. Your lineup for next semester screams stereotypical COM kid, and mom thinks that taking a science class would be “a wonderful opportunity to branch out”....

It’s that time of the year again: in the midst of an intense breakdown triggered by wanting to switch your major for the fifth time, you come to the shocking realization that you haven’t fulfilled …

06/02/2023

By Lauren and Luciano I’ve been the Warren 15A common room couch for 85 years, and you wouldn’t believe the horrors, the absolute travesties I have seen with my own two back cushions. Things that would make war criminals blush. The acts these eighteen year-old boys have committed on these four legs. The Alpha-Sigma-Sigma Initiation of ‘56. The Swordfighting Crusades of ‘79....

By Lauren and Luciano I’ve been the Warren 15A common room couch for 85 years, and you wouldn’t believe the horrors, the absolute travesties I have seen with my own two back cushions. Things that w…

30/01/2023

We are hiring! The application for all staff positions is now LIVE on our website ❤️ DM us with any questions you might have and we look forward to reading all of your (hopefully) funny submissions!

13/12/2022

“You must be at LEAST 5’10”,” he says. His eyes are so full of hope and yearning, I almost lie. But I can’t. He must know the truth.

“I’m 5’8”. And so are you.”

By Helena Flynn (COM ’25) “You must be at LEAST 5’10”,” he says. His eyes are so full of hope and yearning, I almost lie. But I can’t. He must know the truth. “I’m 5’8”. And so are you.”&nbs…

12/12/2022

In that time it’s best to avoid some uncomfortable conversations including having to explain to your grandma that the boy you accidentally brought up at the table is actually a symbol for the multiple people you’ve been hooking up with over the last four months....

In that time it’s best to avoid some uncomfortable conversations including having to explain to your grandma that the boy you accidentally brought up at the table is actually a symbol for the multi…

11/12/2022

GSU? But what could those mysterious letters stand for? What was this mysterious and mystical place where the flocks of students chose to reside?

Have you ever been utterly deceived? I remember the first time I was wronged–I never spoke to my mother again after she confessed that I was adopted. How could a child look into the face of someone…

05/12/2022

When I heard “do you want to study a broad?” My only question was “is she hot?” The man leading the expo just chuckled in response leading me to conclude that my question was a stupid one and there was no doubt this broad was an absolute smoke show.

By Max Bearinger When I heard “do you want to study a broad?” My only question was “is she hot?” The man leading the expo just chuckled in response leading me to conclude that my question was a stu…

01/12/2022

ARTOO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO TELL TIME. His owner admitted to my private investigator in an exclusive interview that Artoo “randomly taps on times” and “never actually has seen a BBus in person”.

By Hayden Bielawa (COM ’26) At orientation, I strictly remember my leader talking about the BU Bus system (referred to as the BBus by my bestie) and that the Terrier Transit app would provide…

18/11/2022

By Laura Braudis BU BEACH – As temperatures begin to drop lower than students’ grades after midterm season, couples who frequent the BU Beach to show off that they are, in fact, in a relationship, have relocated their public displays of affection to the George Sherman Union. The Bunion got an exclusive interview with one of these famed couples, the Handsy Honeys....

By Laura Braudis BU BEACH – As temperatures begin to drop lower than students’ grades after midterm season, couples who frequent the BU Beach to show off that they are, in fact, in a relationship, …

16/11/2022

You look to see your friend gesturing in, their father smiling and sporting really old Pit Vipers and a quarter-zip sweater under another vest. Fantastic. He’s got this really weird smile that you only really see in the faces of men who hate their wives. Oh....

You look to see your friend gesturing in, their father smiling and sporting really old Pit Vipers and a quarter-zip sweater under another vest. Fantastic. He’s got this really weird smile that you …

14/11/2022

Wow, friends and family weekend feels like ages ago, right?! All the nuclear family units clogging up Comm Ave and taking ‘your’ table at Tatte all weekend, what part of that doesn’t sound like a fantasy?

Wow, friends and family weekend feels like ages ago, right?! All the nuclear family units clogging up Comm Ave and taking ‘your’ table at Tatte all weekend, what part of that doesn’t sound like a f…

04/11/2022

Recent Boston University research studies have revealed that those fat clouds you blow every 10-20 minutes can actually aid you in your journey into Instagram-infographic-crystal-girl spirituality.

By Ella Corrao (COM ’25) Recent Boston University research studies have revealed that those fat clouds you blow every 10-20 minutes can actually aid you in your journey into Instagram-infogra…

03/11/2022

By Charlotte Tolman (COM '25) Ahh Freshman moving in, that means overcrowded dining halls, elevators, and rooms. After leaving the confinement of their parents’ home, they finally have no eyes on them, or do they? Here’s how it goes: First, you walk up to the door and absolutely pound on it. Second, say you are the RA. Don’t worry, they’ll believe you....

By Charlotte Tolman (COM ’25) Ahh Freshman moving in, that means overcrowded dining halls, elevators, and rooms. After leaving the confinement of their parents’ home, they finally have no eye…

01/11/2022

I mean, what can you even say? I got the call pretty early in the morning—“Hallus, you know that wonderful pe**er of yours?”...

I mean, what can you even say? I got the call pretty early in the morning—“Hallus, you know that wonderful pe**er of yours?”

26/10/2022

By Helena Flynn It’s a little too intimate under those fluorescent lights. And to be honest, it gets boring when your dentist is giving you the standard interview. After 20 years at the children’s dentistry, I feel like I have earned the right to embellish a bit. My mind is racing immediately. Now first of all Doc, how am I supposed to answer these questions with all of the tools in my mouth?...

By Helena Flynn It’s a little too intimate under those fluorescent lights. And to be honest, it gets boring when your dentist is giving you the standard interview. After 20 years at the children’s …

25/10/2022

By Eliana Sheykhet (QST '25) From the moment that BU opened its poorly-painted, ridiculously-heavy doors to the world, and received its first influx of international students, one professor was entrusted with a task far more difficult than that of his co-workers. With no family to hold him back, and no outside hobbies for him to pursue, he devoted his life to expanding students’ minds and forcing them to take a closer look at their names and identities....

By Eliana Sheykhet (QST ’25) From the moment that BU opened its poorly-painted, ridiculously-heavy doors to the world, and received its first influx of international students, one professor w…

24/10/2022

They could see the pain in my eyes, feel the ache in my soul, and smell the stench on my pjs. Every floor became a war zone as the filthy p**s water soaked into the carpets of each hallway.

By Isabel Horney (CAS ’25) If you’ve ever lived in a Boston University brownstone, you must be quite familiar with the bathroom scene. The communal restrooms in dorm-style living are no treat…

22/10/2022

Last night I dreamt we were friends again. I miss you.
I don’t know what else to say except... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I took a p**s in our sink. But maybe if you hear my side of it. Just maybe, you’ll forgive me.

By Max Bearinger Dear Woman Roommate, Last night I dreamt we were friends again. I miss you. I miss when our fingers used to graze against each other when we both reached for our shared white claw.…

20/10/2022

Strawberry uncrustables are the perfect treat

By Ibbu Quraishi (CGS ’23) Strawberry uncrustables are the perfect treat Strawberry uncrustables I prefer to eat Strawberry uncrustables have the strawberry jam Strawberry uncrustables have t…

18/10/2022

Strawberry uncrustables are the perfect treat Strawberry uncrustables I prefer to eat Strawberry uncrustables have the strawberry jam Strawberry uncrustables have the peanut butter slam Strawberry uncrustables don’t even have crusts Strawberry uncrustables don’t even have butts Strawberry uncrustables make me feel great Strawberry uncrustables could end all hate f**k you grape uncrustables Strawberry uncrustables did not sponsor this by the way Strawberry uncrustables are great after you play Strawberry uncrustables save the day Strawberry uncrustables

15/10/2022

Remember the CGS freshmen? You know, those doe eyed, fresh faced students who end up as the punch lines for countless articles written by this very publication?

Well we’re back bi***es, and we are freshmen no more.

Remember the CGS freshmen? You know, those doe eyed, fresh faced students who end up as the punch lines for countless articles written by this very publication? Well we’re back bi***es, and we are …

14/10/2022

Mackeighleigh Smith (CGS ‘23) and Sabastchin Miller (Questrom ‘24) were having a casual conversation in the Warren Towers dining hall when disaster struck. What started as a simple back and forth quickly turned sour as when another student, Todd Williams (CFA ‘26), overheard the students’ conversation. According to Williams, Mackeighleigh and Sabastchin (known by peers as Sabastkeighleigh) were discussing a nice cat, when Smith “elevated” the conversation....

Mackeighleigh Smith (CGS ‘23) and Sabastchin Miller (Questrom ‘24) were having a casual conversation in the Warren Towers dining hall when disaster struck. What started as a simple back and forth q…

13/10/2022

I took a hasty glance around before slinking out into the streets of Allston, my neck marked with humiliating hickeys. I tried walking quickly but I was afraid to subject my underarms to movement since any remnants of deodorant were gone.

By Laura Braudis It was a typical Sunday morning in Allston: shining sun, chirping birds, and massive hangovers. With my head resting on a flat pillow and my body wrapped up in navy blue sheets, I …

12/10/2022

By Avery Beaumont BOSTON – Molly Green, CAS ‘26, claims she chose Boston University for its top-of-the-line biochemistry program. Medicine has been her passion since she can remember and, growing up in rural New England, she never had the opportunity to pursue such a high-tech field. She was overjoyed when she received her acceptance letter to a school that has spent most of its endowment on glass buildings where science happens for the last ten years....

By Avery Beaumont BOSTON – Molly Green, CAS ‘26, claims she chose Boston University for its top-of-the-line biochemistry program. Medicine has been her passion since she can remember and, growing u…