29/03/2024
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
By Merry Mount
CHAPTER 1
WHO ARE YOU…..REALLY?
How did you become the person you are today?
Why am I different?
I was born in a small Texas town with one hospital, which was Catholic. I was the second born that day. Unfortunately, immediately after his birth, my mother was rolled out into the hallway because they only had one delivery room for the other mother about to deliver in.
So in the hallway was where I was born only seven minutes later.
After my mother was moved to a room, the Nun asked her mother if she could go tell the new Grandma. Mother about her new granddaughter. Mother thought that was a very good idea. That way, she would not have to.
A few minutes later she returned, her stiff skirts rustling loudly as she stomped into the room. She was about as mad as a nun could be. She asked do you know what that old woman said? No was her response.
She said, “We can keep the boy, but you had better put the girl right back where you got her”. For years someone told that story to almost every family visitor.
At the age of five years old we were left alone all summer and after school with my eight-year-old brother in charge were left alone because we were so bad, that they could not find anyone who would take care of us.
Finally, one day at church she told Grandma that she would take care of us. She lasted one whole day. She told Grandma, after one day that we were too bad.
Your connection to your mother begins 3 weeks into pregnancy when your umbilical cord develops from your mother to your father.
The three of you will become one in seven weeks.
The Blood flows back and forth between you, bringing nutrients and oxygen to your body. Any substance they send will be absorbed into your body.
But what does that blood contain that is being absorbed by your body, and what effect does it have on your life today?
Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, provokes feelings of contentment, calmness, and security.
What was your mother’s emotional state during the three tri-semesters?
Was she:
Happy?
U***d?
Stressed?
Afraid?
Unwanted?
Poor?
Abused?
Nervous?
Problem relationship parents?
Drinking?
Drugs? What type?
What chemicals do each of the above generate that pertain to your mother's and father’s mental and physical
health health? Please look them up for yourselves because you will remember them longer.
You are just now beginning to understand more about yourself and why you are the person you were “when”.
Chapter Two
Guided Wisdom
Issac Newton proved in his third law of motion:
For every action, there is an EQUAL but opposite REACTION.
Exercise 1 Discover Your Voids and Values.
Think back to your earliest memories as a child. Remember your home, your family, your pets, and your friends.
What were the earliest memories of your home?
What did you feel was most missing?
What were they?
Which one brought back sad feelings?
Are you feeling the pain in your solar plexus? (It is the soft spot just above your stomach). This is where we hide all our painful childhood memories.
We talk of broken hearts, but it is not the heart that hurts when we have a break in a relationship. It is your solar plexus that hurts.
Exercise 2
Pretend you are in this huge airplane hanger filled with everyone you ever knew in your entire life, and they are all talking about you.
What you are most proud to hear them say about you?
Whatever we perceive as most missing in your childhood, creates the person you are most proud of today.
Everything has a balance: Only our perceptions are out of balance.
Isaac Newton proved the theory of motion:
For every action, there is an
“Equal yet Opposite Reaction”.
Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” So, let us see if we can find a way to do that.
Think you are in Love?
Einstein has the answer. He says “You cannot solve a problem at the level it was created”.
You have been so focused so much on “how perfect they are.” Let’s look at it from a different perspective.
Find a quiet place with plenty of “me time” before you start work.
Make a list of the good and bad traits of this person. The two sides should tell a lot about the person you have in your life.
Jealousy: That just means they think you are better than they are. It’s called insecurity.
Telling Lies: Fear of being not being:
good enough,
Smart enough,
Pretty enough,
Thin enough,
Rich enough, and all the other “not enoughs”
Chapter Three
Relationships
Why is it important to get your relationship balanced?
“Because anything we are infatuated with, we will be resentful, to the same degree”.
Once we create infatuation, we are doomed to a very nasty departure. We don’t want that to happen! (review Newton’s third law of motion)
Do you remember your first used car? How proud of it you were? How long before you became resentful of it when it continued to break down and cost money to repair?
Anything we are infatuated with, we will learn to resent to the same degree.
Exercise 3: How to balance your relationships.
What or whom are you infatuated with?
Job?
Car?
Education?
House?
Marriage?
Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
Money?
Sit down and make a list of the good things you like most about them.
For every good thing on your list, find a bad thing you don’t like. Try to keep the list balanced between the good and the bad.
You will be able to find balance!
Start with 10 answers. Keep thinking of your memories and emotions as you experience them.
Are you feeling more sure of your relationship because of this exercise? More unsure?
Were there any negatives you think you can change?
Think again because you will not change him until you get the last exercises completed in the end book. At least that is what happened to me after many hours of working. It was the best hours I ever spent because, when the end finally came, I experienced unconditional love for the first time in my life.
Only then did the man I had once hated changed!
Before the first Dr. John DeMartini seminar I hated every fiber in my husband’s body. I wished him broke and dead, in that order and the feeling was mutual.
We were divorced for 18 years when he died and left me his estate. We both had changed. Our love was good again.
They tell me the answer is in quantum physics. When something is emotional, it is replicated somewhere in the Universe.
Only then did he change. Eighteen years after we divorced, he left me his entire estate.
Socrates said: “To know yourself is the beginning of wisdom”.
I was 46 when I first discovered who I was, through this work. I took Dr. John Demartinis's beginning class twelve times. Each time I understood what I had not comprehended the first time.
As I progressed, I took several other accelerated classes from him.
Chapter Four
Learning to See Yourself
This is, by far my favorite exercise, and it may be yours too.
Think of a person you most admire and list the best trait you believe them to have. On a scale of 1-10 give them a rating (with 1 being the best) on how much this person personifies this trait.
Let’s just say her score on this trait will be an 8.
Next, ask yourself who thinks you have this same trait and give them a rating as to how they may feel about you.
You may need two people to find your matching number, or it could take 8 people with 1 each. Do not give up!
Please complete at least 3 of the exercises before I give you the reason this works so easily.
“You can’t see something in someone else that you do not have within yourself. They are the things you are most proud of within you.
It’s also fun to find the things you dislike in other people.
You will find the things you most dislike about them are the same things you struggle with, within yourself.
Please feel free to share and give feedback.
More to come soon.
