WHUS 91.7FM
Megan "White Tiger" McNamara was born in 1761 to a family of Welsh nobles. While her parents were on a cruise in Megan's infancy, she was flung from the ship into the Mediterranean Sea where she was raised by a clan of octopi who spent their days playing card games and watching Leave it to Beaver reruns. Boy that Eddie Hascal is the bee's knees. Megan's new octopus family taught her h
ow to fish with maximum proficiency. She even learned their native octopus language and how to breathe underwater. On the yearly octopus fishing expedition, Megan fell behind her octopus brethren and accidentally washed ashore. She was found by a bloodthirsty Viking named Lord Notango. Lord Notango was fascinated by Megan's ability to act like an octopus. So astounded that he treated her to a hot plate of McNuggets. Tragedy struck when Lord Notango was gunned down in the local Burger King when he was denied his daily Big Mac because "they make those at McDonalds". Enraged, Notango drew his laser pistol only to be gunned down by a hoard of pickle people that were hiding under the counter. With no one to look after her, Megan sought to travel to America in order to find a true, octopus-free home. She used to door from Lord Notango's hut in order to build a raft that would take her across the ocean. When she arrived on the shores of Manchester Connecticut, she realized that she had found such a home. Some say that Manchester, Connecticut is landlocked; I tell them to go pound sand. Megan attended a local Catholic school where she was constantly tortured into watching outdated videos that encouraged proper dental hygiene. Megan and her dog, Dusty, spent their days fighting crime. Their arch rival was an angry badger who ALWAYS left the toilet seat up. Like, every time. Come on, that's just common courtesy. Dusty was a good dog. He eventually traveled to Hollywood in order to pursue his career as a film star. He is most known for his role as the Pillsbury dough boy and his classic catch phrase "arf woof woof". What a hoot! Megan spent the rest of her days watching BalloonShop videos and listening to the Killers. In high school, she befriended a Pegasus named Chelsea and her friendly woodland giant boyfriend named "Aoxuthyomptha" or "Joe" for short. The group traveled the world in search of the perfect hoagie. The gang found a garbage monster in the dumpster behind their favorite Denny’s one day. They decided to name this beast Mae, and she would join them on their travels, constantly quoting her favorite lines from Hootie and the Blowfish songs and drinking spoiled milk—but she “only did that 3 times. Two, for pleasure.” Megan also befriended her neighbor, Stew, who spent his days collecting sticks and reenacting his favorite scenes from Star Wars with his sister's dolls. He was pretty much only good for finding good music and quoting lines from movies that no one thought were funny. Megan attended the University of Connecticut after an arm wrestling match with a sword fish. "Don't go there Megan, your roommate is only gonna try to steal your pancreas!" he warned. After realizing the reluctant swordfish's weakness—his lack of arms—Megan gloriously traveled to the college only to find that her roommate did not, in fact, steal her pancreas. Megan currently resides in East campus residence hall where she still searches for an auburn, bearded man to watch television with. Since the incident... ______________________________________________________________ Megan hosts The Inside Joke on "Wednesday nights"/Thursday mornings from Midnight-2am for all of those crazy cats that enjoy best traps, knitting, and Norse folklore. You'll laugh, cry, and listen in awe as she discusses exotic meats and her experiences as a native American tribal dancer. But seriously, brace yourself for music that is so good that it will LITERALLY make you question every one of your life decisions. Why did I buy that Drake CD? Why do I constantly wonder what the horse from Mr. Ed does in his free time? I bet he's a nice horse.
