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25/10/2024
23/09/2024

Name this in your local language...

03/09/2024
23/08/2024

A graduate in Biology was having difficulty in finding a job. He saw an advert in one of the daily newspapers for a job at a zoo.
In the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla, which had been a tourists attraction has died so they needed someone to dress up and pretend as a gorilla.
The graduate was embarrassed, but since the salary was okay, he accepted the job.
The first day, he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, he started jumping up and down, beating his chest and roared like a gorilla.
The next day, he put on a gorilla skin and started moving around the zoo again and mistakenly entered another cage and found himself staring at a lion.
The lion r0ared and rushed towards him.
The scared graduate quickly forgot that he is a g0rilla and started shouting like a human, 🗣️"Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered in his ear *Dennis*, it's me Mike, your course mate."
My brother, No job in this country, Infact that croc0dile🐊 in that water is not a crocodilie, it is John😂l

Anonymous
CTTO

21/08/2024

Manchester United CEO Omar Berrada's FULL message to fans ahead of the new season which begins tomorrow:

“Dear fans,

“Welcome back to Old Trafford for our first Premier League match of the 2024/25 season. This is a particularly special occasion for me, as it marks my first game here as chief executive of this magnificent club.

“Your support at Wembley was fantastic, where we just came up short in the Community Shield. We were disappointed not to win the game, but can take a lot of positives from it.

“When I was invited to join Manchester United late last year, I didn’t hesitate. As a child growing up my first memory of the club was my father telling me stories of legendary players like Sir Bobby Charlton, George Best and many others.

“It is impossible not to be aware of the weight of history. From the tragedy of Munich to the triumph at Wembley 10 years later, I am honoured to be part of a place where overcoming the greatest adversities and rising again to the greatest glories is in our DNA

“That glorious history speaks for itself. When I walked through the doors for the first time last month, I was immediately struck by the enormity of the club and what it means to our fans here in Manchester and all over the world. I think it’s impossible to understand how big Manchester United really is until you’re on the inside. That’s one advantage all of you have had over me, but I’m catching up and I feel it more and more every day. It is a very easy place to fall in love with.

“We have had a busy summer so far, with transformation on and off the pitch. We welcome Joshua Zirkzee, Leny Yoro, Matthijs de Ligt and Noussair Mazraoui to the club; four excellent talents with a bright future here. We are delighted that club captain, Bruno Fernandes, has put pen to paper and committed his future to United and Erik ten Hag has extended his contract on the back of our FA Cup success. Dan Ashworth has joined as Sporting Director and Jason Wilcox as Technical Director. We are building a strong and talented football structure to work with Erik and ensure that we are focused on long-term success. We are also looking to build a world-leading non-football leadership team, which I know will help us to thrive.

“It is an enormous privilege to be taking my seat alongside all of you; I’ve been anticipating this for months. There is no better way to begin than right here, under the floodlights, with the incredible atmosphere that this stadium is famous for.

“I enjoyed spending time with our colleagues on the pre-season tour of the US, and I particularly enjoyed meeting so many of our American and travelling fans while we were there. We met with our new front-of-shirt partner Snapdragon at their home in San Diego and I was hugely impressed with how their market-leading technology will help us to perform.

“We are working hard to transform Carrington so that both our men’s and women’s teams have access to outstanding training facilities. You will be aware we have appointed a joint task force to explore options for the future regeneration of the Old Trafford area with a world-class stadium at the heart of it. It is the right time for us to be moving forward with both projects and our owners and the management team are completely committed to them.

“This is an eventful time for the club. Everything we do has to help us to perform on the pitch and that is our number one priority. It is so important, particularly in times of change, that our bond with you supporters is closer than ever. This will continue to be an important priority for us. All of you must be central to everything we do.

“I look forward to meeting many of you at Old Trafford and over the course of the season. This is your club. I promise that I will always remember that and treat it with the care, dedication and respect it deserves.”

~JB

02/08/2024

FACTS ABOUT HAPPINESS 😊😊😊....
A famous Turkish poet once asked his painter friend to create a painting of 'happiness.'
The painter depicted a family sleeping peacefully on a creaking bed.
One leg of the bed was broken, supported by two bricks, and the roof of their dilapidated house was leaking.
Even the family's dog was sleeping peacefully on the bed. This painting became immortal.

Look deeply at this painting and think about what happiness really is.

After seeing this picture, I believe that happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to accept and find peace in difficult situations.
Try to see the good in whatever you have, no matter how bad the situation may be. Stop being sad about things that are beyond your control.
Whenever your heart feels heavy, remember this painting.
•Always be satisfied•

29/07/2024
24/07/2024

THE PROBLEM IS NOT FALLING IN LOVE, THE PROBLEM IS WHERE YOU ARE LANDING.

There's nothing bad in falling in love but make sure you know where you're landing.
Don't give your heart where only your body is required and don't build a house where you're supposed to put a tent.

Never put a temporary person in the permanent position of your life, Of course when the heart is desperate for something
the eyes and the brain become powerless.
Be very careful with your heart desires because many heart desire can lead to life disaster. It's hard for anyone to sit on
your back if you're standing on your feet.

No one can waste your time without your consent and a promise is nothing without commitment. Pay more attention to a person's actions more than their words and when actions contradict the words you're in the wrong place.

Never allow your emotions to take over your thoughts. Ignorance and endurance are never the same. Be honest with yourself. Love is not a favour, so...never beg for it.

Never beg for something you will need forever otherwise you may end up being a permanent love beggar. Anything you
acquire through begging may require begging to maintain.

Of course, it's very hard to let go when you're deeply in love, but it's more painful and miserable to keep holding on when
you have to beg and fight for love alone. You can never keep what you don't have.

Pray to GOD about your relationship but never ever use prayers where common sense is required. Once you realize that a relationship is not taking you anywhere,
don't be the last person to leave.

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