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Hugotirang hilaw just for fun only

04/01/2024

Wala syang iba pero ramdam kong hindi na ako.

04/01/2024

'di tayo
napapagod
sa tao,
napapagod
tayo sa
ginagawa
ng tao.

04/01/2024

My parents said “ikaw nalang pag asa namin ni papa mo” hearing this thought coming from them na maiiyak ka nalang sa mixed emotion na nararamdaman mo. And made me even more afraid to wake up in the morning without having any progress. I'm worried at the same time pressured. What if i dissapoint you? What if i can’t carry everything? What if i can’t make you proud? What if i can’t make it? Too many what if’s running in my head knowing that I can’t clearly see the path l'm taking, because of too many struggles in life.

Being the last card is so draining.

25/06/2023

I think it's easier to say “I'm okay” than telling people why I'm hurting. It's hard to explain what I feel because even me don't understand my feelings. I just know that somewhere inside my heart is aching, feeling lonely, and breaking slowly. Sometimes when people ask me what makes me sad, I only stay silent because I don't know if they will understand. I'm afraid that they would only invalidate it and tell me that I am just being too emotional or dramatic. So I just choose to keep all my pain in me.

Sometimes when my feelings get too heavy, I just cry alone in my room and pretend that everything is alright whenever I step outside. But I admit it's hard when I can't tell all my problems to anyone. I make myself alone even if there are some people out there who want to reach out. I don't trust anyone. I'd rather keep all my pain to myself than ask for somebody to listen to me. I just feel like nothing will ever change if I ever tell them how unhappy I am. I will still remain hurting. I will still be sad even after I confess how miserable I am. So I just sit with my pain alone and deal with it. At the end of the day, I just tell myself that everything will be alright.

— CTTRO

21/04/2023

ㅤ
People don’t excite me anymore.
if no one talks to me‚ it’s alright.
if someone hates me‚ that’s fine.
i do not have enough energy to
argue and give time to certain
person who doesn’t have anything
good to do with my state of growing.
if i needed to be alone‚ i'll go with it.
maybe‚ at some point‚ i only knew
and already accepted the fact that
not everyone and everything will
last and stay long in one’s life.
ㅤ

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