25/06/2023
I think it's easier to say “I'm okay” than telling people why I'm hurting. It's hard to explain what I feel because even me don't understand my feelings. I just know that somewhere inside my heart is aching, feeling lonely, and breaking slowly. Sometimes when people ask me what makes me sad, I only stay silent because I don't know if they will understand. I'm afraid that they would only invalidate it and tell me that I am just being too emotional or dramatic. So I just choose to keep all my pain in me.
Sometimes when my feelings get too heavy, I just cry alone in my room and pretend that everything is alright whenever I step outside. But I admit it's hard when I can't tell all my problems to anyone. I make myself alone even if there are some people out there who want to reach out. I don't trust anyone. I'd rather keep all my pain to myself than ask for somebody to listen to me. I just feel like nothing will ever change if I ever tell them how unhappy I am. I will still remain hurting. I will still be sad even after I confess how miserable I am. So I just sit with my pain alone and deal with it. At the end of the day, I just tell myself that everything will be alright.
— CTTRO