Muslim Eyes (2025)

30/08/2025

As-salaamu'alaikum, dear soul You can now read the book we've all been anxiously waiting for, But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love. Choose from paperback, eBook, Kindle, and even a special edition hardcover:

26/08/2025

Why are you running from yourself? Where are you going, exactly? And why?

This is a question Allah asks us in the Qur’an: فَأَيْنَ تَذْهَبُونَ
“So, where are you going?" (81:26)

But do we even know?

You see, here’s the problem: When we’re performing femininity (or masculinity), we think if we run fast enough and long enough on this path, we’ll eventually cross the finish line.

But do we even know what that “finish line” is?

Maybe it’s happiness, maybe it’s a husband who’s pleased with us (or a wife who respects you). Maybe it’s “success in life” (whatever that means). Or maybe it’s just avoiding facing our inner world — which is full of anxiety, crippling fear, and suffocating self-doubt.

Yet we think if we keep stuffing down our feelings and fears, our eyes and hearts can stay focused on the finish line.

But here’s the problem: The REAL finish line is inside of us, not “out there.”

Thus, what we’re really doing when we’re performing femininity (or masculinity) is tiring ourselves out. In this, we keep so many things buried inside us that eventually block us from the spiritual light we’re reaching for.

Worse still, when the time comes to actually cross the last finish line—when our souls are pulled from our bodies—we risk having no energy left.

We risk having no inner resources or pathways to access our own spiritual light. This is the light of our fitrah (pure nature) that is buried beneath our inner darknesses and unhealed wounds.

But...

As I mention in my book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love"...

The wounded feminine, who performs femininity at the expense of herself and her own wellness, is absolutely essential to the wounded masculine’s sense of self.

The wounded masculine needs to “feel like a man” (because he’s unwilling to do the inner work to show up as a real man of taqwaa in truth), and the wounded feminine is eager to shrink and self-erase to give this feeling to him.

So, she sacrifices her own life goals, her own personhood, and often even her soul, anxiously performing for a role she supposedly already has: Winning the heart and love of her husband.

But it seems to be always out of reach.

And THAT is the point.

You see, in the mind and heart of an unhealed man performing masculinity, women have no life purpose except seeking male pleasure and approval. They call it being a “righteous wife,” a “high value woman," or a "traditional woman."

But in reality, it’s just a woman showing up empty and unhealed while staying disconnected from herself.

Deep inside, if she's married to an unhealed man performing masculinity, this woman knows her only role as a wife is to be *the* conduit of her husband's manhood (because he's too unhealed to access his masculinity for himself).

In other words, she knows that her own self-erasure is the only path to even the HOPE of enjoying her husband's love and safety—even if after years and years, it never comes.

Yet the hope itself is enough to keep her self-erasing in performative womanhood.

This is how so many women stay addicted to disappearing themselves from existence on the altar of love.

This is also how so many Muslim women unknowingly take the first steps toward "quiet quitting" Islam, as they slowly but surely lose energy to even show up for their own souls in front of Allah.

But it doesn't have to be this way. You and your husband can have a joyful, loving, and fulfilling marriage together (without sacrificing your emotional or spiritual health).

That is, as long as you BOTH are willing to choose taqwaa-centered manhood and womanhood over performing for love...

ARE YOU READY?

You can now read a 70-page sneak peek into the anxiously awaited book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him?" scheduled for official release August 30th, 2025.

This groundbreaking book about performing femininity and masculinity in Muslim women and men inspired a thought-provoking 3-part conversation with Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans and a LIVE discussion by ALIM Institute:

Part 1: Can We Feel Safe with Our Men?
Part 2: Problems with Performing Femininity and the Alpha Male
Part 3: Men Should Accept the Challenge of Compassionate Leadership

Are you ready? CLICK HERE: https://mailchi.mp/f6728f7eb65b/but-do-you-feel-safe-with-him-get-ready

25/08/2025

Are you a hurting soul or a healing soul?

If you don’t deal with your wounds, they will deal with you. If you deny or suppress your pain, it will surface (and resurface) until you face what’s there.

As I mention in my book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love"...

There is a divinely decreed universal law of self-awareness and self-accountability that none of us can escape: Whenever you are playing victim in your own life (and as a result of your own choices), you are going to get a series of reminders designed to wake you up to your own reality.

If you still try to blame someone else for your own painful experiences (which most of us try to do over and over throughout our lives), then you will just get more and more painful experiences waiting for you the next time around.

Then if you *still* try to run from the lesson and deflect blame, the next lesson is going to crash into you in a way that leaves no doubt as to who is truly responsible for your life and how things have worked out (or haven’t worked out) for you.

Then you’ll be forced to shift the focus and accountability to you (bi’idhnillaah).

Healing souls might be victims of wrongdoing in life, but they are not victims of life. They know they aren’t to blame for wounds suffered at the hands of someone else.

Yet they also know they (and they alone) are fully accountable for healing those same wounds.

Hurting souls often see self-accountability as victim blaming, but healing souls see it as taking responsibility for their own life.

If you suffer a physical wound, you’ll seek treatment in the hospital regardless of who’s to blame for inflicting the wound. Similarly, a healing soul who suffers an emotional wound seeks healing regardless of who’s to blame for hurting them or wronging them.

So, dear soul, think carefully and honestly of all you’ve suffered on the path of performing femininity (or masculinity), when all you wanted was to feel safe enough to be yourself.

•What underlying pain still needs your compassion and acknowledgment?
•What underlying emotional wounds still need healing?
•What parts of yourself are you still hiding (even from yourself)?

Whatever your answer, know this:
We ALL will suffer hurt in this world—and we inflict it too, even if unintentionally. But only a few amongst us are brave enough to look within and heal.

And even fewer still are brave enough to acknowledge when they themselves are the ones causing hurt or wrongdoing, even when they mean well...

Did you know that performing femininity (or masculinity) is likely wronging the one you love? This is mainly because it comes from a soul that is hurting, not healing.

But even if you're hurting now, it's never too late to begin healing.

ARE YOU READY?

You can now read a 70-page sneak peek into the anxiously awaited book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him?" scheduled for official release August 30th, 2025.

This groundbreaking book about performing femininity and masculinity in Muslim women and men inspired a thought-provoking 3-part conversation with Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans and a LIVE discussion by ALIM Institute:

Part 1: Can We Feel Safe with Our Men?
Part 2: Problems with Performing Femininity and the Alpha Male
Part 3: Men Should Accept the Challenge of Compassionate Leadership

Are you ready? CLICK HERE: https://mailchi.mp/f6728f7eb65b/but-do-you-feel-safe-with-him-get-ready

23/08/2025

If a woman feels unsafe, there isn’t always a man to blame, but...

As I discuss in my book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love"...

Providing environments that are safe enough for women to relax, trust, and surrender is always a man’s responsibility.

But in these Last Days, most men want women to show signs of trusting and “submitting” before they show signs of being safe. And they genuinely imagine this is their God-given right. But they forget about their God-given responsibilities. Or they simply don’t know or care about a woman’s inner world or need for emotional safety.

In fact, one of the darker sides of the wounded masculine is *intentionally* making women feel unsafe. This is actually a fe**sh for some unhealed men. They even tell other men to strike fear in women to prove they’re “alpha males” and masculine. This, instead of truly protecting her and making her feel safe.

Then they wonder why these same women have trouble guarding their tongues when triggered, why they “rush” to seek a divorce, or why their libidos drop fast and often.

No, your wife won’t want to sleep with you or stay married to you if you are an unkind, unsafe person. She might perform femininity out of obligation, but inside, she’s already disconnected from you.

You can’t invest in fear and expect security.
You can’t invest in being scary and expect commitment.
You can’t invest in domination and expect cooperation.
You can’t invest in harshness and expect to be desirable.

But you CAN expect an unwell, depressed wife.

But maybe that’s the end goal, though?

After all, if a woman is unwell and depressed, then she’s more likely to stay small, to keep self-erasing, and to keep shrinking herself for a man’s approval. And that’s all that matters to an unhealed man performing masculinity. Not his wife’s wellness or pleasure, only her smallness and “submission.”

Here’s where we see an even darker side of the wounded masculine:

Even when a woman’s suffering reaches her soul and she falls into spiritual crisis, the wounded masculine doesn’t see this as a sign to self-correct. He sees it as a sign to increase his dominance, control, and unkindness in order to “straighten her out."

Some even see her spiritual crisis as proof that her religion is deficient. And if she lets go of Islam, thinking this harsh treatment reflects a “low status” of women in front of Allah, then this too isn’t a red flag of his own behavior. It’s just proof that women are the majority of the Hellfire.

If this woman then rushes to a space dedicated to fighting for women’s rights sans religion (e.g., extreme feminism), it’s still not a sign that men need to self-correct, or even embrace the Prophetic Sunnah of compassionate masculinity. It’s not even a sign of what Allah warns about in the Qur’an (3:159): that harshness pushes people away from Muslim spaces.

Then again, only real men of taqwaa read the Qur’an for self-accountability vs. to make women small. But so-called “alphas” learn manhood from red-pill podcasts and their unhealed inner wounds.

But we don't have to keep choosing unhealed, insecure men over real men of taqwaa (who are living in the Prophetic Sunnah of compassionate masculinity). And we don't have to keep showing up performing femininity instead of embodying femininity as real women of taqwaa (who value spiritual authenticity over performing, self-erasing, and shrinking for the male gaze).

ARE YOU READY?

You can now read a 70-page sneak peek into the anxiously awaited book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him?" scheduled for official release August 30th, 2025.

This groundbreaking book about performing femininity and masculinity in Muslim women and men inspired a thought-provoking 3-part conversation with Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans and a LIVE discussion by ALIM Institute:

Part 1: Can We Feel Safe with Our Men?
Part 2: Problems with Performing Femininity and the Alpha Male
Part 3: Men Should Accept the Challenge of Compassionate Leadership

Are you ready? CLICK HERE: https://mailchi.mp/f6728f7eb65b/but-do-you-feel-safe-with-him-get-ready

20/08/2025

Here’s why so many women suffer in “Islamic marriages”...

It’s not that women have no rights to wealth and happiness in an Islamic marriage, but...

As I mention in my book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love"...

Performing femininity teaches women to trivialize the rights and mercies that Allah offers them. So, too often, a woman fixates on only one question before marriage: “What will please this man?”

And if it pleases the man for her to dismiss most (or all) of what Allah offers her, then that’s what she will do—even if deep inside she wants something more for herself and her life. But she tells herself she’s giving it all up “for the sake of Allah” i.e., I’m hoping this man will love, value, and appreciate me MORE now that I’m shrinking and self-erasing for him.

But he doesn’t.

And when she seeks his love and affection, she’s told she’s living in a fairy tale with “unrealistic expectations."

Muslim women need to understand this: In Islam, your rights and options for marriage are like a blank check.

So...

It’s not that women have no rights to wealth and happiness in an Islamic marriage. It’s that, before the nikaah is witnessed and before any contract is signed, Allah gives all women a proverbial blank check.

On this divinely gifted “blank check,” you can specify ANY type of life or wealth you desire — so long as your request is not haraam (religiously forbidden). And so long as you yourself are willing to sit in the discomfort of true tawakkul (trust in Allah) to get it.

That some of us choose to leave it blank is not due to Islam. It’s due to our own personal choice, low self-worth, unhealed trauma, and/or addiction to performing femininity.

In fact, when most women choose to leave their divinely gifted “blank checks” blank, here’s what’s often happening:

They are trusting in a man’s love more than Allah’s love, and they are believing a man’s promises more than the promises of Allah.
And when things go wrong (as they almost always will after dismissing Allah’s mercies), we don’t remember our personal choice. We remember the “for the sake of Allah” we told ourselves.

This is when so many of us fall into spiritual crisis and start blaming Islam.

But here’s the truth we ignored:

In an Islamic marriage, both the man *and* the woman start off with proverbial blank checks. The woman’s “blank check” holds the most power BEFORE marriage, and the man’s “blank check” holds the most power AFTER the nikaah is done.

So, when a woman chooses to forgo filling in her blank check (e.g. via a signed contract that specifies in detail what this nikaah requires), that leaves only one blank check to be filled after marriage: the MAN’s.

Except what she can beg and cry and perform femininity to get from him. And we all know how THAT story ends. Because most of us have lived it.

If we’re not living it now...

ARE YOU READY?

You can now read a 70-page sneak peek into the anxiously awaited book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him?" scheduled for official release August 30th, 2025.

This groundbreaking book about performing femininity and masculinity in Muslim women and men inspired a thought-provoking 3-part conversation with Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans and a LIVE discussion by ALIM Institute:

Part 1: Can We Feel Safe with Our Men?
Part 2: Problems with Performing Femininity and the Alpha Male
Part 3: Men Should Accept the Challenge of Compassionate Leadership

Are you ready? CLICK HERE: https://mailchi.mp/f6728f7eb65b/but-do-you-feel-safe-with-him-get-ready

19/08/2025

By downloading this "Sneak Peek" of But Do You Feel Safe with Him? you agree to be added to Umm Zakiyyah's email list. You can unsubscribe at any time.

14/08/2025

This type of talk reflects deep spiritual ignorance. It’s also playing with shirk (assigning divine attributes to creation).

Here's why...

So, let's talk about so-called "masculine women" who don't know how to be feminine:

As I mention in my book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love"...

The essence of *something* is not the same as the essence of *someone.* For example, all humans (male and female) have both masculine and feminine traits.

This is by Allah’s design.

In the Qur’an itself, we see how the essence of something like the human nafs, which is the human’s inner world, is grammatically feminine. However, we also see how the essence of someone whose body holds this nafs, is either grammatically masculine (in the case of a male) or grammatically feminine (in the case of a female).

But there’s more:

Look at the word "Allah" in Arabic...

Every noun in Arabic has an essence that is either masculine or feminine depending on the way it shows up in its world. That world is either obvious or hidden (i.e., seen or unseen). But only Allah knows the truth of the unseen.

Even the word Allah is grammatically masculine. However, Allah Himself is neither male nor female, because being male or female is a characteristic of His creation, and the Creator is nothing like His creation.

But all of Allah’s creation have one thing in common: ‘uboodeeyah (full servitude, humility, and “bondage” to Him). And this is a feminine trait.

Meanwhile, the qalb (heart) that guides this servitude in a man AND woman’s life is grammatically masculine. And remember, the nafs, which is the inner world of all human beings, has a feminine essence in front of Allah.

This is where we see the spiritual danger in claiming that “masculine women” are essentially defective in how they show up in the world.

In His immeasurable divine wisdom and mercy, Allah has given all humans a unique combination of masculine and feminine traits. But none of this changes the essence of who they are (i.e., a masculine male or feminine female).

More importantly...

For believing men and women, Allah has decreed that every trait of theirs is used for ‘uboodeeyah (servitude to Him). So, Allah gave some men softer traits than other men, and He gave some women stronger traits than other women.

But these men remain masculine in their essence (as is obvious with the gentle personality of the Prophet ﷺ), and these women remain feminine in their essence. But today, male supremacist cults (e.g., Red Pill) claim superior knowledge to Allah. So, Allah’s complex design of masculinity and femininity is viewed as fundamentally flawed.

Also, they claim superior right to female submission in ways Allah Himself doesn’t even ask.

Allah allows a woman to have both masculine and feminine traits as she serves Him. But male supremacists want submission from women in ways they view as superior to Allah’s design. THIS is how they play with shirk...

ARE YOU READY?

You can now read a 70-page sneak peek into the anxiously awaited book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him?" scheduled for official release August 30th, 2025.

This groundbreaking book about performing femininity and masculinity in Muslim women and men inspired a thought-provoking 3-part conversation with Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans and a LIVE discussion by ALIM Institute:

Part 1: Can We Feel Safe with Our Men?
Part 2: Problems with Performing Femininity and the Alpha Male
Part 3: Men Should Accept the Challenge of Compassionate Leadership

Are you ready? CLICK HERE: https://mailchi.mp/f6728f7eb65b/but-do-you-feel-safe-with-him-get-ready

11/08/2025

“What do MEN want?” you ask. But that’s not the real question, is it, sis?

Because when it comes to the unhealed man performing masculinity, he’s already made the answer clear.

And let’s be honest, it’s ONLY the unhealed man you’d need to keep asking this about. Why? Because for a real man of taqwaa (i.e., a man defined by sincere God-consciousness, self-discipline and self-awareness), the answer is deeper than these fleeting desires of the “alpha male”:
• a girl whose age is closer to childhood than adulthood
• a girl with no life experience or knowledge of self
• a girl with no desire to better herself except in increasing her self-erasure in restless servitude to a man
• a girl who will never say no to him
• a girl who will be a conduit for his manhood so he “feels like a man"

And as I mention in my book "But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love"...

This is because for the the unhealed man performing masculinity, his entire identity rests in *feeling like* a man. Why? Because deep inside he knows he’s not a real man of taqwaa in truth. So, he relies on *feelings* of manhood to shield himself from his empty inner reality.

This is where you come in.

So, as a conduit of his manhood (because he doesn’t know how to channel manhood for himself), he asks you to keep shrinking and self-abandoning and getting smaller and smaller. This, so he can keep getting addictive “hits” of feeling big and powerful and manly.

But it’s never enough, is it sis?

And it never will be enough because it’s not about you. This is why men who prioritize performing masculinity over healing their inner wounds will always keep asking for more and more of your self-erasure and “submission.”

They’re running from their own feelings of worthlessness (like you are when you're performing femininity).

This is why they prefer podcast-branded masculinity and red-pill “alpha male” ideals over prophetic masculinity and taqwaa-centered manhood. It’s also why the collective wounded masculine amongst their Muslim “leaders” teach them that these are all the same things.

So sis, there’s little (or nothing) more YOU can do.

So no, you don’t need yet another class about being a good wife. You don’t need to sign up for “wife school.” And you don’t need another book teaching you how to become “more feminine” for a man. Because the truth is, today, in these Last Days, nearly every one of us (amongst women *and* men) is learning about manhood from men who don’t even know themselves.

That’s why there’s so much hyper-focus on YOU. That’s why you (and zillions of other women addicted to performing femininity) keep asking the same question: “What do men want?”

It’s also why deep down this isn’t the real question on *your* heart. Is it, sis?

You want to know what more you can do so you feel valued, safe, and loved.

But an unhealed man can’t do this for you (and likely won’t try—not because he's a "bad man" but because he's too steeped in his own wounded masculinity to see himself clearly, let alone you).

So, for now, it’s time to focus on yourself.

It's time to stop performing femininity and learn to embody it instead. It's time to stop asking what men want and tend to what YOU need.

And it's time to learn how to be make *yourself* feel safe, valued, and loved.

How?

I want to share something with you:

You can now read a 70-page sneak peek into the anxiously awaited book, "But Do You Feel Safe with Him?" scheduled for official release August 30th, 2025.

This groundbreaking book about performing femininity and masculinity in Muslim women and men inspired a thought-provoking 3-part conversation with Ustadh Ubaydullah Evans and a LIVE discussion by ALIM Institute:

Part 1: Can We Feel Safe with Our Men?
Part 2: Problems with Performing Femininity and the Alpha Male
Part 3: Men Should Accept the Challenge of Compassionate Leadership

Are you ready? CLICK HERE: https://mailchi.mp/f6728f7eb65b/but-do-you-feel-safe-with-him-get-ready

10/08/2025

As-salaamu'alaikum, dear soul We're fast approaching the official release of the anxiously awaited book: But Do You Feel Safe with Him? 10 Reasons Why Performing Femininity Never Works in Love. Official Release Date: August 30, 2025 Ready to get a glimpse into the book that is already inspir...

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