17/04/2024
In the quiet suburban sprawl of Lower Beigetown, resided Barry Plankenstein, a man whose middle name was a tragic punchline and whose passion was, well, planking. Yes, Barry wasn't your average joe. While others chased promotions or dreamt of fancy cars, Barry dreamt of achieving the most epic, most geographically improbable planks the world had ever seen.
His planking career started humbly, face down on his living room rug, recreating the pose on a National Geographic spread of the Serengeti. "Barry planking with the lions," his caption read, though the only wildlife present was a grumpy goldfish named Steve. Undeterred, Barry escalated. He planked on top of the mailbox, terrifying the mailman into early retirement. He planked on the roof (much to his wife, Mildred's, disapproval), his backside mere inches from a rogue squirrel with a grudge.
His fame, however, was decidedly local. That is, until the day Mildred decided to throw a surprise birthday party for her dear, plank-obsessed husband. Guests, a motley crew of PTA moms and insurance salesmen, mingled awkwardly, nibbling on finger sandwiches and avoiding Mildred's increasingly desperate attempts at conversation. The doorbell rang, and in walked Mildred's estranged cousin, Millicent, a woman with a penchant for leopard print and questionable life choices.
Millicent, upon seeing the confused faces, declared, "Well, this is a deader party than a disco ball in a monastery! Where's the birthday boy?" Mildred, ever the gracious hostess, forced a smile and pointed towards the backyard. There, atop a precariously balanced stepladder, stood Barry, mid-plank, attempting to recreate a photo of a skydiver.
Millicent, never one to miss an opportunity, whipped out her phone. "Hold that pose, Barry, darling! This is going viral!" she shrieked. And viral it went. The image - a man in a floral Hawaiian shirt, face contorted in concentration, inches from a potential faceplant - captured the internet's funny bone. Barry Plankenstein, the accidental internet sens
