Church in the shower thoughts.

09/06/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

I have been at my parents house for the week with my best friend. Looking after the dogs and other animals whilst they are on holiday, but also setting the world to rights, eating and drinking. It’s an escape like no other for me. A sense of recharging, but also fulfilment in a belonging sense.

They have two black labradors, one elderly coming up to 11 called Reuben, and a rambunctious young 4 year old called Brodie.

Reuben has been aged prematurely by a dogs version of arthritis. He is nearly toothless as he likes to eat rocks and is a bit fat because he can’t exercise much. Add the lumps, bumps and skin issues and what you have is just the most gorgeous happy boy who loves a cuddle. This is getting more difficult however as he can’t get up, and I’m finding it harder to get down, But we managed it.

Brodie has mast cell skin cancer. Treatable, but it’s not curable. He doesn’t have a clue however, and is thoroughly enjoying stepping all over his brother when it’s not needed and being an all round oaf. He is glorious tho. Full of limitless love.

As I leave today I am very aware of how often I am saying goodbye. They are unaware of the reasons for this, but the unsaid feelings are transferred. I do hope for many adventures with them yet, but if not, then that is the way. There will be many adventures to be had once I too reach that bridge of many colours.

My faith has always been strengthened by loss. The sense that I will see the untethered again. I don’t pretend to comprehend what that paradise will look like, but what I do know is that it will be devoid of all longing and desire, and full of a sense of completion, fulfilment and belonging….
…..Maybe this week I have been given a glimpse of it.

Acts 10:34 ESV
So Peter opened his mouth and said: “Truly I understand that God shows no partiality,

27/05/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

There are certain times of the year that are heavy in nostalgia, for me it’s the end of May. Two events cloud this usually bright time, a birthday of a friend who is no longer with us, and the anniversary of my mother in laws passing. We are all told that time is a healer, and this is absolutely true, but these two dates are imprinted on us forever, influencing our emotions and decisions more than our consciousness realises.

Loss. The harbinger of change. Often these life altering events are impossible to see though, the idea of life afterwards incomprehensible. But it happens, and all of a sudden we are the on the other side of it. Often battered, often bruised and always, altered.

A good friend of mine is going through a lot of change at the moment. This human is like a superhero, a strong noble character that prides in giving their all in every situation. Life’s events are now meaning that their priorities are changing, having to let go of huge parts of their person in order to focus more on other huge parts of themselves. It’s hard to let go of a part of yourself that you have built and are proud of, it’s a loss, and therefore a change. I’m very proud of this human, and whatever they choose to do going forward will be amazing.

As I sit staring into my garden it’s hard to imagine all of the things that have changed the journey of my life. Some wanted, some most definitely not. Yet here I am, Right now, sedentary and content. I could have never have imagined that this is where I would be.

I’m off to the village fete where I am going to enter Jasper into the dog show. Anyone who knows Jasper will know that anything is possible, so we will go with a full and optimistic heart. By 16.00 I may have changed.

Sending you all my love this bank holiday. Live your lives true to yourselves and when change comes, its effects will sit more comfortably.

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭2‬ ‭ESV‬‬
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

19/05/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

The father, the son and the Holy Spirit. Three labels that have divided worship pathways since the dawn of Abrahamic theology.

One side sees this, the trinity; Father, son and Holy Spirit as different faces or behaviours of the same god. Like water can be fluid, ice or gas. All the same, but different. Still one god.

The other side sees “god” as a fixed entity, meaning that nothing else can be god without insulting their oneness. to think otherwise would mean that their is more than one god, And that isn’t acceptable.

I don’t pretend to understand it, my mortal brain shouldn’t (I don’t think). But I do get it. For me the trinity stands for the teacher(father), the experience of humanity (the son), and my favourite, the guiding force (the Holy Spirit). Or as I like to call it, the magic. With the flowers starting to bloom, the eclipse a few weeks ago, and the northern lights igniting the wonder in all of us, I find It impossible not to feel the magic. Ofcourse it is all explainable by science, but to steal the Arthur C Clark quote “magic’s just science we don’t understand yet”. One day we will understand all magic, and I look forward to that.

Today is Pentecost Sunday. The commemoration of the moment that the Holly spirit touched the apostles and empowered them to go forth and spread the word of God to the masses. Church as we (kinda!) know it was born.

I wish you the most grace filled week ahead, full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. Look around and feel for the magic in life, it’s easy to find if you want to.

John 4:48
So Jesus said to him, “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.”

12/05/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

I’m sitting in my garden hammock drinking tea and feeling content after a wonderful night with dear friends watching the Eurovision Song Contest. Yet again the Eurovision stage played host to many a subtle and not to subtle protest. The media emitting from it finding any discourse available for a headline or 6. Of course the Israel/Gaza conflict had its impact. Many people believe that Israel should have been banned from the competition, like Russia was last year for invading Ukraine. A braver person than I would probably point out the difference between being a bully and defending yourself. I would then have to work out when self defence becomes gratuitous violence. But I’m not that brave.

“United by music” is the slogan. Not an untrue statement in my eyes. The ability to have all these countries send an ambassador to compete in one big competition really is phenomenal.

In my lifetime, the Church has used a slogan “diverse but not divided” when describing its many facets of worship pathways. Some like their priests male, some like to sing the Eucharist. Some think the g**s are unrighteous no matter what they do. It’s all a smorgasbord of beliefs. In reality, until we see our maker we will never know who was right, so the phrase “diverse but not divided” was used. A way to accept the differences, but remain having a kinship in faith. Keeping an element of solidarity, no matter how tense discussions may get.. “United by music” and “Diverse but not divided” mean the same things to me. I’m reminded of the legend of the football games between fighting soldiers of England and Germany on Christmas Day. A moment of truce, where the human connection shows its beautiful head.

My head is a little delicate, and I’m considering whether the rest this month should be called “May I be sober” (thanks Kev!) to allow my body to heal for a few weeks. I’ll pour myself an aperol spritz and have a think about it. A truce between my brain and liver sounds like a good idea.

Psalm 22:3;
“A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going”

28/04/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

“How many friends have you got?” Was a question I was asked this week. I’ve had similar questions over the years, but this one held my attention a little more than usual. We first had to define what the question meant by “friend”. This led to a bigger discussion with people as to what they think a friend is. I was fascinated at the varied answers ranging from “people known for a long time”, “unconditional love”, to “people I follow on socials and look up to”.

I feel in quite a unique position as my job as a hairstylist connects me with many people. Quite a few of those I have known for 25 years now. Some I still cut their hair, some I don’t, but I still consider many of the people I have met whilst working to be friends of mine. By definition that means I can confidently say I have many friends. However that does mean that I spread myself thinly in many peoples eyes, missing important life events, often only with the excuse of being busy and forgetting. I don’t want to forget, and I want to go to everything and be there for everyone, but it’s just not possible.

A task I had this week was about whether I would call God a friend, hence this post. My instinctive answer was yes. When challenged why, I couldn’t immediately give an answer. I was then asked whether i think God thought of me as a friend. A simple yet huge theological question. Is a parent a friend? Do my actions please them? Is it completely unconditional? - A few questions I shall be mulling over in the week ahead.

“How many friends have you got?”… The truth is I have no idea, and am probably not the right person to ask. Rather fabulously, that is for my friends to decide.

Proverbs 27:9,-

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from their earnest counsel.”

24/04/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

Humanity. What a word that is.
There are 3 definitions..
“ALL of the living human inhabitants of Earth”..
“The quality of being human”..
“The quality of being compassionate and kind”…

They say that you should never talk about s*x, politics or religion. I say without these subjects I have nothing to say.

I have noticed recently that there are so many subjects that people really want to talk about, but they are worried about asking questions with fear that they will agitate an already unstable status quo. But how do we navigate these uneasy feelings without talking about them. From Palestine to policing to politics.. Subjects quite literally putting the “P” into psychological trauma.

The truth of the matter tho, is that difficult questions often come with difficult answers. No “one size fits all” solutions. The key here is to try and see all sides of a situation, then hopefully come to an understanding together, with kindness and compassion.

Humanity will always be fascinating to me, but all three definitions are just as important.

Proverbs 29:19
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”

23/04/2024

14/04/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

I’ve felt a bit spiritually decelerated this past few weeks, but haven’t at all been worried about it. A sense of completion follows the resurrection, a fullness of the soul. Spring is bringing life all around us and for me, a feeling of optimism is easier to obtain. I wonder what is like to be heading into Winter in the other hemisphere.. Would the optimism be as easy?

This morning I have belted out some worship songs given to me by a good friend.. The ear worms in these songs are so catchy I believe the neighbours will be humming them for quite a while.

This good friend is from another pathway of worship, and the willingness to share with me the tools used for their connection to the divine is very special to me. No undercurrents, no hidden agendas, just two people who love “love” connecting. It can be so hard to see positivity around us, especially at the moment with the media reminding us of the end of days-esque world that we are living in. However it is these connections, that bloom smiles like flowers emerging in spring, that remind you that it’s not all bad out there.

To steal a line from one of the songs, “a smile is all we need”.

Romans 6:14
“For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace”

29/03/2024

A beautiful representation of how it works.. x

29/03/2024

The statement beyond all statements.

It will always make me cry.

Amen.

24/03/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

I was a distinctly average kid. I would always get the legendary “nice boy, could do better” report from school. This has been explained in later life with a dyslexia diagnosis. Sport was a no no, as I was so spectacularly uncoordinated. So that only really left the arts and music for me to shine a little.
I remember so clearly a day when the school was asked if anyone wanted to audition for a place in the school musical called “Rats”, a musical twist on the pied piper of Hamelin. I was oh so shy, it never occurred to me to audition. At this point in time my favourite teacher in all the world, a beautiful Welsh redhead called Mrs Hornsby had taken over the music department. She took me aside and asked me to audition for the little boy who was left behind. I was terrified, but went for it. I got it. I remember asking Mrs Hornsby why she gave me the part, and she remarked that I always looked so sad and woeful, and that I should walk taller, keep my chest out and head high. Being that I adored her, I did from that moment on.
The school asked my dad to record the production as he had a video camera that he used for work. I’ll always remember watching that video back, as the sounds of sniffles from my mum and dad and the rapturous applause after songs shaking the camera bought me true happiness. I was a changed boy.

I kept singing. It wasn’t the coolest of things to do, but it held back the bullies a little out of respect for having the courage to do it. I wasn’t the best by far, another boy a year older than me (who I was so in awe of) would go on to shine spectacularly in the westend, but it gave me something to be good at and my confidence grew.

It all came to quite an abrupt end when my voice broke, the angelic voice changing from soprano to boring baritone. After a year of resting it during puberty the sound was very different. However I still love warbling away any chance I get, tho usually in private…When I met my husband I remember him asking why I “put that silly voice on (when singing)?” I wasn’t. But that was the end of that.

So, why tell you all this? Well, it’s been 15 years since and I’ve decided to take lessons again after being poked a little by god… I was just getting in the shower and I asked Alexa to play a song that had been on my mind all night. Whilst that was playing I thought to myself “I wonder what opera would be like?- I’d love to sing Nessun dorma”. Now, baring in mind I have NEVER asked my speaker to play it before, it automatically PLAYED IT next. Out of millions of songs, it chose that one.

I’m taking it as a sign to start singing, not because I’m going to be great at it again, but because it makes me happy, and for some reason I stopped.

Do what makes you happy, life is too short.

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

19/03/2024

🙏🏻

17/03/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

It’s the fifth Sunday in lent, once called “Passiontide”, and “Care Sunday” in Scotland. It marks the day that Jesus announced that his end was coming.

I do love lent. My willpower is always bolstered tremendously. I believe there is huge strength to be found in the solidarity of millions of others also going without some of their favourite things. I love to think this is gods grace at its best, empowering us to help each other.

We see the power in togetherness all over the world at the moment. Huge groups of people using a commonality to justify thoughts and actions. What I have never seen so much of however is the discourse between these groups. Whether it be politics, religion or genders, there are extremes of both.

My thoughts are consumed as to whether equal amounts of both extremes create a balance, or that a mediation of both sides is the better option. To take turns, or to always compromise. Our political world has certainly never been able to work out this question.

This brings me back to lent, to abstain from something can create obsessive thoughts about it, for example I have given up anything made with any kind of flour. I am however dreaming of a hot cross bun sandwich on a regular basis! I feel so much better without flour, and I’ve lost weight, but will I stuff my face with all my cravings come Easter? Or will I recognise the lessons in health and humility and take it easy on the carb of doom… It remains to be seen.

Whatever the outcome, I will know myself a little better.

Psalm 130:5-6
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.

14/03/2024

Something to make you smile !

03/03/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

At least once a month I dream of my children. We have such adventures. I know them. Eyes, skin, hair, even their smell. In the first few moments I awake and realise I was dreaming I feel the absence of them. I grieve for them. There is no other feeling like it. I quickly chastise myself for being so silly, I remind myself they don’t exist and I go about my day. I feel their absence tho, more than I care to admit.

I don’t regret not having children, it’s enabled so many blessings in my life that simply wouldn’t have happened otherwise, so why these emotionally insidious dreams? I have no idea, but this question has fed my imagination for years. A natural yearning most probably, but I like the idea that I have known them, in some other place, maybe the after, maybe before.

Knowing there was a space in my life for God was also like this, not having them in my life was not possible. It just was. No explanation, my brain needed God, it had God. To deny that was to deny love.

Anyway, with a full but slightly achey heart, I wish you a wonderful week.

1 John 4:16 - We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

01/03/2024

You can really feel it now..

25/02/2024

Life is so busy, often of our own making.

I speak to many people in a week who mention their guilt over choosing to do nothing. Some say that the idea of doing nothing terrifies them as then they would have to deal with their own thoughts.

I am probably a little too good at doing nothing. I have rarely ever been bored because of this. The Italians have “dolce far niente” - The sweetness of doing nothing, the Dutch have “niksen”- The practice of doing nothing. I LOVE these words and phrases. Naming the absence of something with a name other than nothing makes it more tangible, and therefore easier. Maybe more self permissive?

The time I need for my brain to breakdown information varies, but it’s essential. I call it my downloading time. Sometimes this for me is also called prayer time. Allowing myself time to meditate over my relationship with god and myself.

If people were to view me doing this, I would be seen to be doing “nothing”, but that is far from the truth.

Have a go at doing “nothing”, and don’t feel guilty about it..

With love, xx

22/02/2024

Give yourself a boost.. 😇🥰😇

21/02/2024

Amen! A useful musing for the week ahead.

20/02/2024

Sometimes certain routines just aren’t good for you. It takes courage to change them.

19/02/2024

Something to think about as the day begins..

18/02/2024

Church in the shower thoughts.

I’m in awe watching these nature programs. The series “Planet Earth” is both fascinating and wondrous. I am enthralled by the science involved in these animals evolutionary behaviour, but also feel the magic of how our natural world came to pass.

My biggest pondering is about the pelican. Upon adulthood they leave the nest, find a mate for life and then set about building the most amazing nest of their own. This nest is usually in a hollow tree and the female barricades herself in by building a wall (think mottle and dorb) with a small space that allows food to be passed through. There she sits until her hatchlings are ready, safe in their bunker.

My question is how does she know to build the wall? No one taught her. This is just one example of natures inherent skills passed down to each generation.

These skills so evident in nature are plentiful, but do humans have them? Have we forgotten what they were? Is the need for adventure at the beginning of spring our instincts way of pushing us out of the cave?

My instincts have always loved and known god. They are in my heart and bones. I trust my instincts, although not always right they were created to protect me.

I Kings 3:9
"Give me an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad"

18/02/2024

I recently heard a conversation that resonated with me hugely;

“How do YOU pray? What do you say?”

- “I don’t say anything…. I listen.”

18/02/2024

Welcome!!

I’ve started this page as I don’t want to fill up peoples feeds with my musings if they do not want to see them. Life is all about choices, and I hope choosing to like this page will bring a little more wonder into your lives.