
19/04/2025
If my memory serves me correctly, the last time I watched The Equalizer, I'm pretty sure that I concluded that Robert McCall (Denzel Washington) would probably win if ever up against any of my other favorite on-screen sh*t-kickers. And I'm not ashamed to say that I put a fair amount of thought into this.
Would Brian Mills (Liam Neeson) from Taken be the victor in a theoretical showdown? Even if he believed McCall was involved in the kidnapping of his beloved daughter? It might be close, but I'm taking McCall.
What about Jason Bourne (Matt Damon)? With his government funded chemical enhancement? I just don't think so. And Bourne is a fu***ng stud.
Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) from the film of the same name? He was pi**ed, a little fu***ng crazy, and certainly well trained. A formidable opponent no doubt. But, yeah, I think it's gonna be McCall.
John Wick (Keanu Reeves)? No. It's too fantastical. They're not even in the same universe.
What about Jason Statham? Pick a character from any one of his films. How about The Mechanic? Arthur Bishop is the fu***ng deal. He is. But, again, I think you'll concur that it's gonna be "pi**ed the f**k off, Robert McCall with a vengeance" all day, every day, and twice on Sunday.
John McClane (Bruce Willis) from the Die Hard fanchise? Please. Nope.
What about Arnold? What character from what film? It's definitely not Harry Tasker in True Lies, all-time flick that it may be. Predator? Maybe. But if you really consider how diabolical Robert McCall truly is, I think you'll find that Dutch just might not make it out of that jungle, or anywhere else for that matter.
Wait... What about another Denzel character? Say, for instance, Creasy from Man On Fire? He would do anything for the achingly adorable Pita Ramos. Perhaps this truly would be the fairest fight. It's still McCall.
I could go on and on. Who am I missing? You tell me. Who's gonna finally put the man who "alters outcomes" down?
"That girl, Alana... She's gonna go on living. You... You're gonna bleed out all over this funky floor... All over 9,800 dollars." - Robert McCall
The Equalizer. (2014)