26/05/2019
Brittany’s Story in Rocky Mount, North Carolina,USA
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
My name is Brittany. I am 20 years old and I live in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. I reverted to Islam several years ago. Growing up, I was never quite satisfied in my Christian faith. When I was about 5 or 6, I remember asking my mom to explain the whole “Trinity” concept because I just didn’t understand it.
After years of asking and researching the fundamentals of Christianity, I decided this faith wasn’t for me and never has been. I still believed in God and Jesus, just not the Christian interpretation. Finally in the 7th grade, I was introduced to Islam. My social studies teacher really went in depth when we studied the World Religions unit. The three main religions we studied were: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.
Of course, the most intriguing faith to me was Islam. Everything about Islam made sense to me. Shortly after, I pronounced my shahadah. I was only 12, so I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I tried keeping it a secret because I was scared. I didn’t even tell my best friend (who was also Muslim). Once I told my best friend, she gave me prayer clothes, mat and a Quran. She did her best in helping me until she had to move a few weeks later.
However, when my mom found out-ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. She caught me praying and snatched off my prayer clothes. The next couple of years were challenging. I was too scared to practice Islam in fear of what my mom would do. Eventually, word got out in school that I became Muslim, and a lot of people began to pick on me.
I got my driver’s license at age 16, and one of the first places I drove to was the masjid. Walking into a masjid for the first time made me cry immensely. I had dreamed of going there for years. I said my shahadah again since there were witnesses this time (so I guess this made it official?). Everyone ran up to me afterwards and started hugging me and that was the warmest reception I’ve gotten ever since.
Thank goodness I already learned about Islam beforehand. The ladies at the masjid just gave me these pamphlets with minimal information. One lady even told me “I wish I could help you, but there’s nothing I can do”. Overall, I felt happy about finally meeting Muslim people in my area, but I was still very much ON MY OWN.
The next period of my life, I became very depressed. Bullying at school, abuse from my mom, and on top of that some “Muslims” weren’t nice to me either. It seemed like everyone hated me and to be honest, I hated myself as well. Without support, everything was too much to bear. I wanted to die. No one really cares about me, so what’s the point in living? But Alhamdillah, I realized I always have Allah.
My faith began to restore when I graduated high school and I started wearing hijab. However, my relationship with my family and friends became worse. My mom could barely stand the sight of me. She also threatened to kick me out and cut ties with me completely. At this point of my life, I didn’t care about what anyone thought of me - I needed to begin living for Allah.
Now I’m currently a rising junior in college and majoring in social work. My ultimate dream is to provide more Muslim social services. Many reverts stop practicing or leave Islam completely due to lack of support. This is a huge issue that plagues many Muslim communities across the world. Dawah experts motivate and push people to take their shahadah as if it’s the “finish line”, but in reality it is only the beginning. In fact, declaring the shahadah is the easiest thing ANYONE can do, but sticking to deen and keeping faith is what truly makes someone a Mu’min (believer).
By Brittany Thorne