The Antsy Butterfly

27/01/2024

Today is Holocaust Rembrance Day.
The day Aushwitz was liberated.
The day my grandmother remembers as being one of both relief and despair.
One of both watching people eat and drink themselves to death as they packed food and water into their emaciated bodies and one of which she would need to gather herself up and start walking toward freedom.
The day my great grandmother would be free to find her children again, which she did when she was able to travel over to Canada.
The day my great aunt and her sister would learn to live without the rest of their family, as they were murdered by the n***s.

I visited Aushwitz and experienced a pain that cannot be described in words. Years later, my parents would visit the camp and go through the same feelings I did, with my dad walking in the footsteps of his mother.
I cannot properly describe what it's like to try to process the barbaric reality I had to digest.
I cannot truly explain what it was like to look at the hair and luggage and shoes, trying desperately to somehow spot those belonging to my family.

A-9053.
My grandmother's number, branded like cattle and used instead of her name, Chana Johanna Heinrich. A beautiful Romania woman. A Jew. A warrior. The strongest woman I have ever know and had the privilege of being her granddaughter.

I usually share the same post on this day, however, this year is different. This year, I am faced with antisemitism all over the globe and wondering how "Never Again" became simply, "Again".

I've lost friends over this, both in real life and through the content creator world. I've been gaslighted, people telling me I don't understand what Zionism means. Telling me I don't understand what "from the river the the sea" means.

Is history actually repeating itself?
I'm baffled, but also, isn't that we do over and over?

Today I remember the 6million Jews murdered for simply being Jewish.
I remember all of those forced to wear inverted purple, pink, black, red, and green triangles as a classification system describing those who were seen as less-than.

In a world full of hatred, be the one who chooses love.
Am Yisrael Chai 💙🤍

22/11/2023

Dear Safta,

I miss you, and I need you.
I could really use your guidance right about now. I could use one of your most amazing hugs; the ones that envelope you and keep you safe.
But for the first time since you passed away in 2015, I'm relieved you're not here.

I'm relieved you can't see what is happening all around the world.
I'm relieved you don't have to go through the trauma of reliving the torture you endured during your time in Aushwitz.

All because you were Jewish.

I think about you every day.
I think about your experiences. How you were forced to stand still and naked for hours in the cold, being sure you don't shiver or make the slightest move out of fear of being shot.
How you were starving and stole a cucumber just to taste something other than the driness and dirt that was a staple in your mouth.
How your bunker was saved from the gas chamber because a sympathetic bus driver purposely pulled something from the engine and spared your lives.
How you spoke 5 languages at the time and was considered a "commodity", being able to translate between the SS Guards and the Jews brought in from all over Europe.

I think about how this would break your heart.

Your ability to survive the harshest of circumstances fascinates me to this day. I don't know if I could ever be as strong as you, but I'm trying.

Safta, people are chanting horrible things out there. We said "Never Again", but the world didn't mean it. And I'm happy you aren't here to witness it.

Despite how much I need you right now, I take comfort that you are not here to witness what is happening.
Despite how much I need you here, I take comfort that your strength will always be with me.

I love you.
Your ketzele,

Karen 💙🤍

31/10/2023

Halloween meme dump because I love Halloween

09/10/2023

With family and friends in Israel, I'm heartbroken. Devastated.
Be clear, this is about a terrorist group who hates Jews; who hates Israel.

You can disagree with the Israeli government and condemn such violence and hate towards the Jewish people.

I stand with Israel.
Am Yisrael Chai
💙🤍🇮🇱

23/09/2023

My beautiful friend Christine Derengowski, Writer wrote this for Her View From Home and it's all the feels 🧡🧡🧡

When you make a conscious effort to open your circle and include new people it makes a big difference to others.

06/09/2023

Confusing my kid is my specialty. Head over to my hilarious friend and laugh for days!

05/09/2023

An accurate representation of how my brain works, thanks to the wonderful !

29/06/2023

Friendly reminder from one of my main gals .

27/06/2023

Main reason for creating the eyeballs.

21/06/2023

I'd say it's a very large percentage. Follow my girl for more!

15/06/2023

I always relate so hard with .

14/06/2023

Everyone wins!

09/06/2023

If only. Swipe through and then follow for all the funnies!!

07/06/2023

An innate trait. Follow the funny and real

06/06/2023

has me chuckling every time 😆.

04/06/2023

Couldn't agree more. Follow for more!

02/06/2023

Happy Pride month!! 🌈
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Love.
Kindness.
Acceptance.
Equality.

EQUALITY.
Not a hard concept, but here we are.

I'm not sure when we started moving backwards, but I'm not having it.

I stand with you, as an ally, now and always ✊🏻.

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈
(credit unknown)

30/05/2023

Should of started following Martha's regiment 20 years ago. Follow my hilarious friend for more!

22/05/2023

This.

10/05/2023

Morning mini tweet dump.

08/05/2023

He just knows me so well.

07/05/2023

All the feels 🧡. Follow my friend for more!

02/05/2023

Driving Mom Crazy

It used to be that every time I got ready to go on a trip, especially without my kids, anxiety would take over. I’d try to hold it all together, but at some point, there would be a breakdown. Why? Because I thought I might die. Or that my child might die because I wasn’t there to protect them. And all the ramifications of that came cascading down upon me like an avalanche.

“Should I even go?”
“I can’t do this.”
“What if I never see them again?”
“I’m so selfish.”
“You better make sure you have a perfect goodbye because this might be the last time they ever see you.”
“Make sure you do everything possible to make this trip as safe as possible…or else something terrible might happen.”
“This is a bad idea.”
“Just cancel.”

I would sob, mourning my own hypothetical death and the harm I would be causing my children. Or imagining the guilt I would feel if anything happened to them. I could barely breathe. I could barely move. I could not bring myself to pack. This would come and go in the days leading up to a trip.

Most of the time I would still push through somehow Once I made it on the plane or in the car, I was just fine. I felt better. But getting there was a battle. A mental battle.

I did not used to be like this. This started after I had kids and got worse as time went on. So no one knew how illogical this was more than me. I’ve been on dozens of planes and driven thousands of miles. Traveling was never scary to me. That’s how powerful anxiety can be. It overtakes all logical thought.

A few years ago I decided to take more control over my mental health. I saw a psychiatrist (rather than just a family doctor, which was great to start with, but I needed more specialized care), and got a new therapist. I have continued to push for the care that I needed. I started a new kind of therapy last year called EMDR therapy which has been a game changer and also asked my psychiatrist to increase my meds.

I don’t cry over my suitcase anymore. Yes, I still get anxious. I feel my chest tighten. I have intrusive thoughts at times, but they do not have the hold over me that they once did. To me, that’s nothing short of a miracle.

01/05/2023

This simply makes sense. Thank you for this 🧡

28/04/2023

Choose your words carefully. Swipe through and then skip over to one of my people for more laughs!!

27/04/2023

I'm totally winning here 🙌🏻🙌🏻
just gets it.

26/04/2023

So, is this a new recipe now? .doesnt.want.to is one of my faves!

26/04/2023

24/04/2023

You're literally already telling me something.

21/04/2023

I see you, I am you. I just love my girl over at and all her realness.