07/03/2024
❤️🔥Relationships in Recovery, we all deserve healthy love:
When we walk out of active addiction, it is normal to have a pile of issues to untangle that were previously masked by our drug and alcohol use. And as we continue to work through these issues, it's also normal to start thinking about sharing our life with that special someone.
The reality is, it won't always be easy.
As we enter into new relationships, it's nearly inevitable to bring with us the baggage of old. In active addiction, it is common to be surrounded by toxicity and we often develop equally toxic coping mechanisms. Defensiveness, anger, resentment, withdrawal, and apathy can be all too common as 'protective' coping mechanisms that we relied upon, and this can leave us primed to react inappropriately in future, healthy relationships.
I think it's important to realize that these defensive behaviours do not have a place in our lives today, and when they do pop up it's important to take the time to see what is really going on.
💥Kristen and I do this beautifully, and when we arrive at a point where we are slipping into past behaviours, usually secondary to feeling triggered by some word, gesture or event, we take the time with each other to unpack it. We never walk away from unresolved issues and we tackle the hard, deep-seeded behaviours together, with compassion, understanding and commitment. It's taken time to get 'here' but as we practice this type of support, love and commitment to one another, guess what happens?.....WE grow, both independently - from having faced and resolved an ill-seeded defense mechanism - and together as a couple. As we spend the time unpacking our past together, safely, without judgement or stigma, we continue to become closer, we become more comfortable with vulnerability, and our love is enriched and deepened.
Relationships in recovery, especially early recovery require a special kind of patience and understanding, and when we find that AMAZING person that provides the love, support and understanding that ALL humans need - don't let go. There will be stumbles, trips and falls, but get back up, provide each other with nonjudgmental, safe space, and work together on what's really going on.
Coming together in such a holistic and positive way will supercharge your relationship, and give you both the amazing partnership that we all deserve.
We all deserve healthy love. ❤️
