Women of Valor- Women of The War

24/09/2024

This year has profoundly challenged me, deepening my appreciation for life. The events of October 7th have forever changed this country and the Jewish people, bringing collective pain that has fueled my Zionism and sense of belonging. Amidst this backdrop, I’ve faced personal challenges that have added to my sense of longing and hope.

Several years ago, after finishing my national service and beginning to date, I looked forward to building a family grounded in my values as a religious Jewish woman in Israel. Despite dating various people, I’m still on the journey to find my partner, trusting it will happen in time. This year, however, dating has been particularly challenging. The qualities I seek—someone who is a Zionist and has served in the army—are harder to find as many men are unavailable due to military service. Recent experiences have brought emotional connection, only to end abruptly due to circumstances beyond my control.

Though I’m not a soldier on the front lines, I recognize the emotional weight we all carry. Living a simple life filled with work, exercise, and friends, I can see how this year has not only destroyed marriages and homes but also hindered singles from building their own.

I met someone this year who made me less skeptical about dating, and I found myself falling deeply for him. I shared more personal details with him than I had with anyone before. Our personalities complemented each other, and it felt like puzzle pieces learning how to fit together. He left for miluim early in our relationship, and we still saw each other during his service. But when he returned, he became distant. Days later, our relationship ended. Though I tried to understand what happened, he refused to share his feelings.

In the weeks since, I’ve been taking time to emotionally recuperate. The bright young men are suffering, and so are the women waiting for partners who can emotionally support them. I don’t have solutions, but I believe hope is the antidote. By sharing my experience, I aim to shed light on another kind of woman of valor: the single woman yearning for connection, ready to support her future partner through whatever challenges lie ahead.

25/07/2024

The minute Simchat Torah/Shabbat was over my phone flooded with text messages from friends and family asking me if I was safe, how I was feeling and how my husband is. As the war continued I’d get messages from friends daily asking how my husband was and checking in on me. I would respond by saying that my husband is alive and I feel so lucky and grateful to Hashem.

On October 11th my husbands tzevet was ambushed and he lost three of his close friends.

Every morning I decide that I am going to have a beautiful day in memory of Daniel Kastiel, Itay Moreno and Ido Kaslasi who died protecting us and our land. Every morning I choose to honor those who have fallen by making the most out of the time that I have been blessed with.

On October 19th as the families were getting up from shiva our little girl was born. We named her Danielle Oriya in memory of Daniel Kastiel who had a heart of gold and was a friend to every person he met.

A few days later Daniel’s mom came to visit me in the hospital with a huge gift for the baby.

Daniel’s mom was not dwelling in her pain or sorrows. She was looking for ways to strengthen and help others. She was and is constantly looking to spread Daniel’s light.

As I watched Daniel’s mom smile while holding our newborn I knew as a nation we will be ok. Everyday that we wake up in ארץ ישראל is the best day ever. We owe it to those who gave their lives for our right to be here and our safety in our home to make every day count.

08/07/2024

My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and have 11 children combined, a yours, mine, and ours situation.

When we got married, he was in Keva, a full time Army Rabbi. As a recent Olah, I quickly learned what it’s like to be married to the army.

I absolutely loved being on many Shabbatot with Chayalim, an incredible opportunity to connect and be mashpia. But all this did not prepare me for October 7th. Until then I was planning my daughter’s 3rd birthday, planning to take down the Sukkah, getting ready for a full week of Shuk Experiences... What I was not expecting was a phonecall on Simchat Torah telling my husband that they’ll arrive soon to pick him up.

I was an absolute wreck, fearful, panicking, crying, my eyes were bloodshot, my head started to pound. I was so scared.

I would talk about him and start crying.
I felt like a constant waterfall.

I was scared to be home alone with my kids. How would I protect them? I locked and bolted the doors and closed the trisim.

I got into a routine of him not being home. It was a terrible feeling. I was desperate for him to come home.

I rallied up many donations and spent weeks and months shopping and sending all the supplies, continuing throughout the war. It was an incredible and wonderfully intense feeling of connection in the Jewish nation.

We’re at 9 months of Miluim up north and in Gaza, I’m still home with the kids, working, trying to keep up with the demands of everything and everyone, and the overflowing piles of never ending laundry. I’ve kept my mind busy from thinking of the ongoing nightmare, by planning events for the families of the Miluim soldiers, raising donations to send food for all the Chayalim in my husband’s units, and most recently traveling up north to prepare a BBQ for 40 IDF Rabbis who are training for entering Lebanon.

I am so proud of my husband. I am so proud of myself. I am so proud of all our kids for their resilience and strength. The fear is still here, the pride of having my husband serve is a wonderful feeling. I really believe this will all lead to the biggest miracle the Jewish nation will experience with complete trust in Hashem.

03/07/2024

August 22, 2023
I gave birth to my second child.

September 3, 2023
We moved to Eilat as my husband started a new job at a nearby base.This was a big decision to move as a family but we saw it as a period of ‘שליחות.’ I was also open to moving because this base is a 7 minute drive from where the community lives. Previously my husband would leave every week on Sunday and come home on Thursday and if I was lucky there was a “break” somewhere in the middle. The crazy lady that I am was willing to leave all my friends and everything I knew in Jerusalem since I made aliya 9 years before, just for the hope that even if my husband works to past midnight every night he can sleep in his own bed, and maybe just maybe, once or twice a week he’ll come home between 6pm and 7pm to help bathe the kids. The first month was a challenge as I had a newborn, didn’t know anyone and he was never home. Even when he was he was constantly on calls or being called back in. But I was hopeful and told myself things take time...

October 7th 2023,
My husband is called into base first thing in the morning. I actually don’t think much of it as he always gets called in. Very quickly I understand that this is different. And slowly I start to understand that solo parenting during war is not like solo parenting before the war...I start to understand that if I thought I didn’t see my husband before the war, now I see him even less.

Every time he comes home for a minute my head is full of so many thoughts...I want him to spend time with the kids, I want a romantic date, I need help at home, I need to talk to him about important things. I need him to make phone calls for me, I need to sit still and hold his hand so as not to be alone, but I don’t want him to know I’m sad, lonely, tired, rushed... because he needs to focus on what he needs to do and I need to focus on everything else. I ask Hashem to give us strength so that we can do whatever we need to do so that our husbands can continue to do their jobs, so that our children will be proud of what their daddys are doing, so that the hostages can come home and so that we can continue to live and thrive in our beautiful country.

02/07/2024

(1/2) Our journey as a family in the army started long before October 7th. When I first met my husband he shared with me that his career will follow a path of meaning and contribution to Israel. This is what is important to him and he will not be choosing jobs based on money and promotions.

At the time he was in Miluim, finishing his first degree, about to start his Masters, as well a role as a ‘civilian’ working in the army. Within a year he re enlisted into קבע (career officer) as an Officer, based on his academic credentials.

I look back and think neither of us understood what we were getting into. Only that we loved and supported each other, and as a family want to contribute to our beautiful country.

Being a קבע wife means going to pregnancy scans by yourself, going to the mikveh knowing he is not coming home that night, getting special heterim to go to the mikveh at random times because he’s suddenly coming home, or suddenly spending Shabbat on base. It means solo parenting most the week and being unsure if your husband will make it to the birth of your child. Even being left in the hospital by yourself after having an emergency induction and being in a life threatening condition. It means so many things and the list is really never ending.

But it also means that as קבע wives we are strong, passionate, driven, dedicated, and successful women in our own right. We understand our mission and somehow magically we put systems (and poker faces) in place to be the backbone of the family, whilst finding a little space to create our own. That space is crucial because even when you think he is coming home, he often doesn’t. So we live a life of managing the expectations of those very needy voices in our heads. Having our own paths and accomplishments to fill that space is crucial yet very challenging.

It means constantly finding a sense of self and calm in an environment of chaos, unknown and often loneliness. Reminding myself to look to Hashem for strength, and that he is with us, we are doing his job and we are part of something much bigger together with עם ישראל.

30/06/2024

Our platform is dedicated to inspire, connect, empower and uplift Jewish & Israeli women all over the world. The Women of Valor digital community amplifies voices of unique strength, sharing the stories of our people.

Being a “Woman of Valor” is a broad term, applicable to many from different perspectives.

Follow along to be inspired by the Women of Valor in our communities, and redefine attributes of strength and power during these challenging times.

28/05/2024

I have been surrounded by strong women my entire life. My mother, Kim, had me when she was only 19 years old. She raised me as a single mom until I turned 10, when she remarried to my Israeli stepdad, Adi, who would go on to adopt me. Raising my own daughter now as a single dad and widower, I see how hard it is to be a solo parent.

The three other women who come to mind are my late wife, Noel, my daughter, Leia, and my mother-in-law, Lori.

Noel’s strength during pregnancy and her cancer diagnosis was nothing short of remarkable. She gave birth to Leia with no pain meds, something I look back on often and think, “my wife was one strong woman.” After going into remission for 6 months, Noel’s cancer mutated into an incurable type of cancer called P-NET. This sarcoma cancer was a death sentence, yet Noel did not give up. Through excruciating surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy, unending nausea and fatigue, she fought to stay alive for our daughter, Leia. Our last text was about Leia ensuring that Leia was ok and that I would be ok taking care of Leia. She died a week later. This selflessness is something I cannot fathom.

Which brings me to my daughter, Leia. Who recently turned seven. She goes through this world with grace and gratitude and appreciation for the life she has. I am amazed by Leia’s strength. She is loved by her friends and teachers at school. My biggest accomplishment in life is raising Leia into a beautiful young girl.

And finally, Lori, my mother-in-law. The closest person I have to a co-parent. Lori has shown up in every way, shape, and form for Leia and I. From the moment Noel was first diagnosed when Leia was only four months old, Lori flew to Chicago from Los Angeles to help take care of Leia. Their bond is as strong as any. During Noel’s struggle with cancer, Lori never gave up hope. She showed up for Noel in every way possible ensuring she was comfortable and well taken care of while helping me nurture and raise Leia.

Without these four women in my life, I would not be who I am. They’ve instilled in me and continue to instill in me great strength, sensitivity, selflessness, and resilience.

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27/05/2024

Karen Cinnamon is all about Jewish joy.
Empowering women to smash limits and take pride in their Jewish identities is what inspired her to found her platform and membership, and she’s passionate about providing welcoming, inclusive online spaces – especially for Jewish women who feel marginalized or disconnected from mainstream communities.

After October 7, Karen asked her community what they needed, and found that they were overwhelmingly craving personal connection, whether in-person or online. Karen and her team sprung into action to make it happen, hosting Zoom gatherings where over 1,000 Jewish women from all around the world came together to connect and support each other while getting guidance from Karen on how to talk about Israel and deal with Jew hate on social media.

Throughout it all, she’s continued creating and sharing uplifting, nourishing content. Even in the darkest of times, her focus is always on giving her community the tools they need to be the light, whether that means lifting them up with the ,putting together playlists of upbeat Jewish music and tips for self-care, or setting up a $60,000-strong fundraiser for Magen David Adom. It’s more important than ever that we feel able to express our pride – and Karen is making sure as many Jewish women as possible feel safe and supported in doing just that.

07/05/2024

The army has been a long and hard journey for us
It started as soon as we got engaged when my husband drafted and was off for a few weeks for his basic training as an army nurse.

There were many times in the upcoming 2 years and 8 months of his mandatory service that were challenging. We were separated a lot and pretty much spent the corona years apart.

Throughout the years my husband accomplished many amazing things. Awards, promotions ect and with every טקס (ceremony) I became prouder and prouder. I couldn’t help but have the biggest smile he worked so hard and deserved this.

When his mandatory service was over we made the choice to sign on more years making him enter קבע.
My husband was working hard and had goals he wanted to accomplish while being the army and I wasn’t going to stand in between him and that goal even though it was hard very hard at times we had been through this journey together side by side and I was so proud.

Now 7 years and two kids later I can say there have been many ups and downs, but as soon as we heard sirens on and off on October 7th for over an hour I understood my husband would be called in and for a while.

The amazing support from community never ceases to amaze me. The packages the help the dinners and how everyone shows up when a chag comes around. It reminds you why you’re doing this and what us as Jews stand for.

About a month ago my husband reached a goal of his in getting his next ranking and a position he dreamed of for years. I got to join him at his ceremony pinning his new ranking on his uniform a moment we discussed so many times over the years. It was surreal!

This journey has taught me so much. I learnt how resilient we are as a couple and how our relationship has actually grown from it. I learnt how powerful עם ישראל is as a nation and how we can truly can get through anything💙

- .bodenheim

20/03/2024

After years of infertility, fertility treatments, failed cycles, early miscarriage, and a 15 week loss earlier that year, we experienced an 18 week loss on October 2, 2023.

While grieving our baby boy, we were woken up in our home in the south to rocket sirens on October 7.
Confused, postpartum, in pain, we started understanding the horrors that were occurring in our backyard. Our friends were called up, and with them, our support system. I felt a lot of guilt while mourning my baby. It’s hard not to compare when other people are going through such unimaginable horrors.

My husband was home, safe, with me (he wasn’t needed in his unit). We were comfortable, physically. We knew where all of our loved ones were, even if feeling anxiety and fear for those that were (and still are) fighting on the front lines. My husband, Ari, decided to delete all news apps from his phone in order to focus solely on me and our pain.

I then was able to understand the difference between personal grief and collective grief.

Collective grief was shared with our family, friends, neighbors, country, and Jewish nation. Personal grief was ours alone. They share similarities, as they are both forms of grief. They are different. But both are immensely painful. All grief is valid. Hardships and loss should not be compared. We learnt to let ourselves grieve our baby. To grieve our losses, our babies, our dreams of our future together. And alongside our personal grief, we grieve the nation’s grief.

There are days where one grief is more prevalent than others. When new updates, stories, and social media posts are released, I’m immediately immersed in the pain that the entire nation is collectively feeling alongside me.

When a friend lost her brother, Gavriel Bloom z”l, in Gaza, we understood the depth and complexity of loss and grief. We discussed our grief together, and we bonded over loss. We both understood loss and the pain involved, and were able to relate to each other in that way. No matter the kind of loss.
I miss my babies every day. I mourn the losses the Jewish nation has endured and is continuing to endure. Both are true and always will be.

18/03/2024

Shifra Buchris, mother of 10 & combat commander in The Israel Border Police knows firsthand how complex it can be to balance between commitments to her home and to work.

Her inspiring perspective serves as a reminder to all Jewish women that we can do anything we put our minds to. 🫶💪

Watch Shifra’s full video:

Shifra Buchris defies all odds and shatters expectations as an Orthodox Jewish mother of 10 and commander in the Israel Border Police. On October 7th, Shifra...

14/03/2024

Every Friday night we sing the song ‘Eshet Chayil’ - a woman of valor. But what does this mean to me?

For me it is celebrating the incredible variety of roles that the woman takes in a Jewish household- leading it and defining it. This has nothing to do with cooking and cleaning, but everything to do with education, with Jewish spirit, with resilience and encouragement, making the home a beautiful place from which Judaism and values come from.

Since Oct. 7th, I have been amazed with women from my community who many have had husbands in reserve duty and have found incredible strength to continue leading their Jewish home.

But I have been especially inspired by my sister when it comes to ‘woman of valor’. Her husband, Yonatan Yitzhak ben Ateret (please pray for him), was badly injured and is still in intensive care 8 weeks later. But she has had so much strength and faith, resilience and hope. There are painful moments but as the woman of her home, she has guided so many people around her to be in good spirits, to pray, to hope and to celebrate every improvement along the way. Praying for his full health and recovery soon and in the meantime celebrating the incredible ‘woman of valor’ my sister is.

29/02/2024

“Even now, knowing what happened, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Senai Guedalia is a true show of faith and strength amidst adversity.

At just 23 years old, Senai lost her husband on October 7th. Yosef was killed while heroically saving civilian lives with his IDF unit, Duvdevan.

In the wake of his death, Senai has used Yosef’s memory to continue to create and do good in this world, as she says he always did.

Senai lives her life with no regrets, fully, and despite the pain is committed to Israel as her forever home.

Her sheer belief- 'Emuna' in Hashem, and the future of the Jewish people, is an inspiration to us all.

28/02/2024

My name is Julia, I’m a student at McGill University in Montreal, and I am the Co-Founder and Co-President of , a new Israel club on campus. Campus has been rife with antisemitic rhetoric since 10/7. I hesitated starting an Israel club. It’s hard being Jewish on campus right now. I’ve been spat at, people have yelled things at me, and people have tried to dox me.

In early December, I was scrolling on and saw a girl in the IDF named Oriyah. I remember thinking to myself, “wow, she’s my age, and has the courage to serve in the army, I better have the courage to be proud of being Jewish on campus.” But I still hesitated a bit. At the end of December, while volunteering in Israel, I stepped onto the train and standing in front of me was none other than Oriyah. Nothing is a coincidence, and this was a sign to better represent Israel on campus, just like women in the IDF that keep moving no matter what. , if you ever read this, the ripple effect works.

We tabled on campus with an Israeli flag for the first time in 10 years. The first day was terrifying, but each week we’ve gotten stronger. We will continue to be proud in the face of hate.

Now, the real reason for this post, a love letter to the Jewish women I’ve gotten work with the past few months (and also to Sam, who is an integral part of our team):

To Mimi, Amanda, Sophie, Maddie, Michelle, Nicole, Diana, and Ora, I am so proud that I get to work with Jewish women like you. To Elia, my Co-President, I am in awe of your strength and confidence. To Anastasia, you made history and I am lucky to learn from you. To the Jewish women on other exec teams at McGill/Concordia, you’re the reason we all feel proud.

To the students at McGill/Concordia that are proud and publicly Jewish (and particularly the female ones after everything we learned on 10/7), you are beyond inspiring. Let’s keep it up!

To Jewish women on college campuses, never be afraid to be Jewish on campus, it is your biggest asset and your biggest blessing.

Lastly, please go follow and !!!

Proud to be a Jewish woman.

21/02/2024

On the 7th of October, I was called up to reserves in the middle of the Simchat Torah minyan my husband and I arranged for the community. We ran home, packed bags, and said goobye not really knowing what was going to happen next.

For months, I served in the Search and Rescue unit while rockets flew overhead daily. Being a religious and married woman in reserves is often not a story that is told, as it is very much the perception that men go to miluim. Our service comes with extra challenges such as lack of gear for women, periods in the field, and sexism from our peers. We often have to work hard to prove that we are strong enough and we are never assumed to be soldiers, gaining strange looks on the streets as we carry our guns to shul on Shabbat.

In terms of being observant, I have written about my experience going to the mikveh and spoken about it at length in an attempt to raise awareness of the struggle that all women have with mikveh, but specifically what mikveh means if the couple is taken out of the equation. I rarely saw my husband for four months, but decided if I did not make this mitzvah about me and my connection with myself and with G-d, I may lose the motivation altogether.

So, I went to the mikveh, not having the opportunity to prepare much at all, but deciding that just showing up was good enough. I lit Shabbat candles every week, even if I wasnt “keeping Shabbat”. I prayed even though I was not feeling very warm towards G-d during this time. The only thing that was in my control were my values and I was ready to do anything to protect this land we call home. I fought on behalf of my nation, my country, my gender, and my faith and for those who ask me if I will keep going back; the answer is a resounding yes.

-

19/02/2024

My husband and I were in America visiting my family, for the first time since we got married, when October 7th happened. He got called up and booked a flight leaving the next day. I said goodbye to him, unsure when I would see him next. I could not stop crying.

Some days I felt like I needed to do everything I can to help and some days I wanted to do nothing at all. There was no in between.

Three weeks into the war my husband told me he was getting off for shabbos on Wednesday night. I knew it was time for me to go back to Israel. Two hours later my ticket was booked and 15 hours later I was on a plane facing my fears. I had no plan for after my husband returned to base, and my family was 6000 miles away. Coming back to Israel meant I was alone. Thankfully I have the most amazing friends, and in laws who took me in, making every effort to make sure I’d be ok.

I lived with my in-laws for seven weeks, celebrating my birthday and first anniversary with them, which I never would have imagined. But I’m thankful to have them here.

I am also thankful for amazing community of people who did so much for the wives of chayalim, showing us love and appreciation. The support from the community of women, who like me, had husbands in Gaza is what got me through. From sharing how we felt, what made us feel better, and the group support from women showing unimaginable strength was incredible.

Baruch Hashem my husband is back now, but I know that can change at any moment. This war taught me that life is uncertain and to celebrate the little things. Being an olah chadasha is hard, I made Aliya on my own after seminary. My husband made Aliya with his parents when he was 14, so I thought I would never be alone again. Being alone after getting married hit hard, especially since he was at war in Gaza. It was really hard to accept. However, the amazing thing about living in Israel is you’re never truly on your own, everyone treats each other like their family, which is why regardless of what the situation is I am proud to be Israeli.

— Michal Benscher

17/02/2024