Alexandra Online

25/11/2022

Applications for "let's keep this between us " are now open

20/11/2022

Italian Relationship:
1st day= S*x
2nd day= S*x again.

French Relationship:
1st day = movie & kiss
2nd day = S*x
3rd day = S*x again

British Relationship:
1 day= hangout & kiss
2nd day = kiss & hug
3rd day= kissing, hug and smooching
4th day = s*x and more s*x

American Relationship:
1st day= Date
2nd day= Hug
3rd day= Hug again (warmly)
4th day= Kiss
5th day= Long kiss
6th day= S*x

South African Relationship:
1st day= Pizza
2nd day= KFC
3rd day= KFC again
4th day= Agree
5th day= Date
6th day= Date again
7th day= Date again with three of her hungry friends or cousins.
8th day= Date & Hug
9th day= Tried to peck but failed.
10th day = Peck
11th day= Tried to kiss but failed.
12th day= kiss
13th day= Long kiss
14th day= Tried to have s*x but failed.
15th day= Tried to have s*x but quarrelled
16th day= Didn't talk to each other
17th day= Malice till the next day
18th day= The man called but the woman didn't pick
19th day= The man called, the woman picked and asked: "what is it?"
The man apologize and the woman replied: "Leave me alone, am not that type of girl"
The man continued to beg till the next day.
20th day= The woman accepted the unwarranted apology
21st day= Hug
22nd day= Long hug
23rd day= Kiss
24th day= Long kiss
25th day= Tried to have s*x but the woman complains that her phone is bad. Guy promises to buy her a new one.
26th day= Tried to have s*x but the woman said until he buys the phone
27th day= Tried to have s*x but the woman asked: "where is the phone? U are not serious, call me when you are serious"
28th day= R**e.
29th day= Police case.

04/08/2022

-Alex girls

24/07/2022

Welcome to Gomora 🐁🐁🐁

We call every toothpaste COLGATE.
We don't care😂
We call every washing powder SURF
We are proud😂
We point at an empty chair and ask “Who's sitting there?”
We are just like that😂
We steal your belongings and help you to look for them.
We are just like that😂

We name our dogs Tiger, Danger or Spoty.
We don't care❤
We eat a fruit and expect to be healthy immediately.
Why Not? 😂
When electricity goes we go out and, check if the whole street is affected.
We are just like that😂

We use a bar of soap till it looks like a SIM card.
We don't have a problem with that😂
We buy something, skip reading instruction & ask neighbours how it's used
We don't care😂

When our neighbour buys a new vehicle, we either say it's not the latest or say they should have painted their house first.
We are jealous like that😂

We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3 times before leaving.
We are cautious😂
We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going.
We are like that😂

We pay R10 000 to a witch doctor so we can know who stole our R100.
We are sometimes weird😂

We turn off the volume just to smell what's burning.
We are like that😂

Our iPhones and car keys don't fit in our pockets.
We are weird like that😂
When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves.
We are smart😂

We share beers and ci******es but we don't share opportunities.
We are sometimes selfish😒

✊We are proud to be Suthafrikans 💛☝️

Welcome to SAFRICA 💛

19/07/2022

You get drunk with them every weekend then boom!!!after 4 years they’re graduating🎓,yoh!! People from Alexandra 🚮🚮🚮

19/07/2022

Ladies with pure intentions nibabi yhuu😭😭😭🥺🙆‍♂️

17/07/2022

🕯🕯🕯 for my community to stop screaming when electricity comes back🚶‍♂️

24/06/2022

04/06/2022

Plug 🔌

02/06/2022

😭😭😭😭💔💔💔

Leaners at MC Weiler Primary School in Alexandra have found a body under one of the school containers inside school premises.

A learner wanted to fetch a soccer ball that went under the container when he made the gruesome discovery. The body was wrapped in a blanket. Photo by Everson Luhanga (BEAST OF NEWS) on Twitter.

30/05/2022

Ke nako yaho dasha💀

22/05/2022

I'm not Xhosa but I know bethunana means beat the child

18/05/2022

-Short story

15/05/2022

Don’t hesitate to contact us when you need a plumber

15/05/2022

📶📶📶📶📶📶

15/05/2022

I will send you the money when I park the car,
It's 2 years now my boyfriend is still driving🙄😫

14/05/2022

Everyday ko Alex Mall 😫😫

Standard bank 🚶🚶🧍

Nedbank 🚶🧍🧍🧍

FNB 🚶🚶🚶🧍🧍🧍

ABSA 🚶🧍

Capitec 🚶🚶👩‍🦯👩‍🦼👩‍🦽🧑‍🤝‍🧑💏🤱🧍🚶👪🤰🐼🐸🐸🧎🐟🐓🦔🦡🐋🐬🐫🦒🐦🦉🦅🦜🐍👯🧔🧓👩‍🦱👩‍🦲🧒👩‍🦳👲👩‍🎓👩‍🏫👩‍🌾👩‍🏭👩‍🏭👩‍🔧👩‍⚕️👩‍🔬👩‍⚖️👩‍💻👩‍🎤👩‍🎨👩‍🍳👳👲🧕🐭🐷🦊🐰🐷🐻🐲🦄🐴🐇🐆🐂🦘🦍🐒🦛🦍🐣🦅🦉🐦🐳🐬🦆🦃🐠🕷️🦂🦀🦞🐡🐜🦟🐌👽👿👹👻

14/05/2022

We are going out 🥂🍷💃💃 or indoor 📺🍑🍆💦💦??

Those who are going out plug with location I’m bored

13/05/2022

🤔🤔🤔

This can really work

06/01/2022

I’m feeling generous 😊

Comment with your network provider
I’ll send you airtime

NB : I’ll give only 5 people

14/08/2021

Let’s go

The 4 times Sama award winner the king of Amapiono ladies & gentlemen Kabza de small 6th Alex music festival , you don't want to miss it!






Kabelo M***a

27/04/2021

06/09/2020

😣😣😣😣😣

We will be talking to the victim on Monday at 13:20 on 89.1 stream: https://ndstream.net/alexfm

“True story this happened only a few hours ago

Human trafficking is real , this is my story (what happened to me today)
So I got tagged on a job opportunity post on my old profile so I liked the post just to show I saw it I got a DM from some girl (her profile doesn't exist now) she complemented me cool then asked if I'm still job hunting was like yeah long story short she sent me an email Address and I emailed my documents cool,so yesterday I got an email inviting me for an interview cool in Pretoria with the company's address and phone number ect I only Googled the company just to see the reviews my mistake is not confirming the Address (not original) salary,benefits and uncapped com perfect.I got to the place on time was told to use the elevator instead of the stairs (with a lame reason) fine made it to the 4th floor the were 8 other ladies receptionist handed me a form filled it up and decided to go to the loo next to the stairs case in loo I overheard a conversation discussing how they gonna transport us divide us into groups (Spain, Korea and Argentina) this huge Nigerian guy and 2 female cops exchanged cash ,i didn't go back to the reception area I took the stairs 2nd floor looked like a crime scene and the was a disturbing smell of something decomposed the was blood on the wall dude I was terrified I had to calm myself down when I got to the ground floor the securities were shocked to see me and the female one asked did I use the stairs I said yes the elevator was taking long ,the guy asked if I'm done with the interview I said nah I wanna go smoke outside so the guy said he will come with me my phone rang it was the receptionist asking where did I disappear too so in the background I could here this guy saying find that bitch the security guy told me to run turn left at the passage ,I ran and instead of turning left behind the building i went straight ,thought about going to the police station but the cops are involved .....long story short I almost got trafficked vandag for the 1st time in my life I didn't know I could run in 6inche heels the thought of not seeing my daughter and being a s*x slave in a foreign country scared the crap out of me..I'm never accepting help from a stranger 🤞ever
I'm only sharing this to warn females please be careful not everyone is helping with good intentions we live in sick twisted world were another female will sacrifice you for money.”

Close quote

04/08/2020

💔💔😩😩 tjooo

17/02/2020

Can I rate ubufebe bakho by looking at your p.p😛😛😋😋

13/01/2020

Lets play a game. You got 20 lives it reduces if you've done the following.

Had s*x-2
Cheated-3
Masturbated -3
Stole something -4
Got drunk -3
Smoked w**d -3
Th*****me -5
Gotten into a fight -4
Sent n**e -5

Mine -4 😂

13/12/2019

When we say bring your friend.. we mean this 😂😂😂😂