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Funny You Should Ask Share stories, jokes and funny things in life. Life is too short not to laugh a little.

14/03/2024

Time's Up....

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.

Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path
of the ambulance?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you!"

14/03/2024

When the space shuttle gets back from its next mission, wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all dressed as apes?

14/03/2024

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late". The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night"? The man replied, "That would be my wife".

14/03/2024

Mark 17:

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying.

To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands.

He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters.
I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

14/03/2024

Men are all the same - they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart.

14/03/2024

An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Hey, it could happen.

14/03/2024

“Everything will be all right in the end…if it’s not all right then it’s not yet the end.”

13/03/2024

FINALLY! St Patrick's Day's coming.
Now my underwear will be the right color.

13/03/2024

How do you explain Daylight Saving Time to a cat? Just wondering.

13/03/2024

It all depends on your perspective ...

An English professor wrote the words "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly.
The male students wrote:
"Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The female students wrote:
"Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

13/03/2024

Marriage:

Women marry men thinking that they will change.
Men marry women thinking that they will not.

11/03/2024

There are only 3 kinds of people on this Earth. Those that are good at math and those that aren't.

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