20/12/2021
Navigating College with a Chronic Illness: Ash*ta Suna and Lupus
By: Elizabeth Snowman
“You don’t know exhaustion until you get tired after taking a shower”
At first glance, it may not seem as though there is anything different about freshman music-psychology major, Ash*ta Suna. However, underneath her beaming smile, is a fierce warrior. She has faced moving to another country and being away from family, an energy-depleting autoimmune disorder, mental health struggles, a global pandemic, and more.
Born in the United States in 2001, her family, originally from India, returned there in 2006. Ash*ta came back in July of 2018 for her junior and senior years of high school and has not returned to India since. This is a bit difficult because it means she cannot see many of her family members for months or years at a time.
Now, for clarification, Lupus is no walk in the park, and these struggles and their consequences do wear her down. Some of the above issues are ongoing and have been for quite some time. However, Ash*ta is able to keep her chin up and maintain a pretty positive attitude.
Lupus
According to lupus.org, “lupus is a chronic (long-term) disease that can cause inflammation and pain in any part of your body. It’s an autoimmune disease, which means that your immune system… attacks healthy tissue” rather than actual infections. Ash*ta happens to be one of the rare people who suffer from this disease.
The main symptoms that affect her daily life from this disease are pain and exhaustion. When asked about daily challenges, she replied…
“Walking around campus is a very big struggle”, as are playing the piano with aching joints, even things as seemingly inadvertent as waking up or taking a shower are tough for her. Each individual task is tiring. So, imagine being in this situation, whilst in college, where you must walk pretty much everywhere and have classes at all sorts of times, not to mention a plethora of assignments to do and exams to study for. That is the reality for Ash*ta every day, and the struggle of balancing school and health is quite real.
Back in 2019, shortly after moving to the U.S. from India, she had a devastating flare-up, which caused major hair and weight loss, as well as an inability to walk.
Mental Health and Depression
The above effects of Lupus also tend to have an adverse effect on mental health, and Ash*ta’s case is no different. The inability to do basic activities without getting extraordinarily tired wears on the brain, and, in Ash*ta’s case caused depression and anxiety. With those, came feelings of uselessness and of being a burden to those around her. Comparing what she is able to do to what others (who are not affected) are able to do is also an issue that negatively affects her mental health.
The 2020 pandemic did not help matters either. Because Lupus is an autoimmune disease, Ash*ta had to be much more careful than others. She also had to watch her immunosuppressant medicine, as this could risk sickness even more. This meant not being able to see others, reduced schooling, and not being able to work at all. She could also not go on the walks around town, something intended to help bring her strength back (from the 2019 flare-up), which caused her to be “stuck at a certain point (health-wise)”. Not being able to have a social life, besides seeing her sister in their shared apartment caused extreme loneliness. All of these things served to exasperate the existing mental illness and did not help with progressing out of her flare-up at all.
Faith
It would fit that someone with so many struggles might have a conflict of faith or perhaps even doubt God. In the late fall of 2019, around the same time that her most recent flare-up began, Ash*ta became bitter with God.
“I was angry with God for letting me get to that point”.
She stopped praying as much, and when she would, it would most often be with anger towards Him. Despite these feelings, however, she never doubted His existence or His watch over her. This “blind faith”, she says, came from her upbringing/her parents’ strong faith.
It was through music, that she began to develop a deeper connection with God- something that happened over the summer. To this day, it is music that helps her faith grow stronger.
Journey To Gordon
As to why she chose Gordon? Ash*ta says that family played a big role in that decision.
“Amrita (older sister 2) had gotten a visa to come to Gordon, so that made the decision fairly easy”
However, due to a health flare up- the same one that is still affecting her to this day, she made the decision to take a gap year and did not finish her application.
That said, Ash*ta still decided to take a gap year and defer her admission to this year. However, this past fall, she got bored and wanted to study, and took some community college classes.
“Which is a rare thing for me”, Ash*ta laughed.
As time passed and her health did not improve as quickly as it was originally supposed to, it came time to decide as to whether or not she should come to Gordon for the fall semester of 2021.
“I make my best decisions, especially with tough ones, when I go in the car with Ankita and drive”
So that is exactly what she did. It was on this drive that Ash*ta decided to come to Gordon. With this decision, came “a light at the end of the tunnel”- a bit of hope amid so many struggles. And while she admits that Gordon has been tough, overall she is happy to be here and feels as though it was the right choice.
Ash*ta is taking music classes, as she enjoys studying music and this helps her to stay motivated. You may have been lucky enough to hear her sing a duet at one of the Day of Prayer evening events. This is something Ash*ta was very proud to do, as singing and playing the guitar are some of her passions. Psychology also interests Ash*ta- particularly in the area of criminal profiling. Time can only tell where her journey at Gordon will take her next, but it appears that the future will be bright for this inspiring student.
Photo Credit: Prateek Katyal on Unsplash