The Elmhurst Funion

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The Elmhurst Funion A satirical take Elmhurst news.
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The Parade Day tradition continues!City of Elmhurst Spring Road Business Association Elmhurst, Illinois
09/03/2024

The Parade Day tradition continues!

City of Elmhurst Spring Road Business Association Elmhurst, Illinois

by Dave Noble, City News Editor ELMHURST – With the help of Elmhurst City Council members and Park District officials, Mayor Scott Levin temporarily changed the color of Salt Creek’s water to …

A $500 registration fee is not included with tuition, nor is the cost of three scheduled field trips abroad.Fia Mia Acad...
30/09/2023

A $500 registration fee is not included with tuition, nor is the cost of three scheduled field trips abroad.

Fia Mia Academy

by Dave Noble, City News Editor ELMHURST – Parents who can afford the costly tuition and know who they have to bribe in order to move their way up a very long wait list have a new preschool academy…

“Villa Park doesn’t require residents to purchase vehicle stickers, so why should we have to buy them?” said N. Michigan...
01/03/2023

“Villa Park doesn’t require residents to purchase vehicle stickers, so why should we have to buy them?” said N. Michigan St. resident Julia Marko, who admitted that this is the first time she can recall being jealous of Villa Park.

City of Elmhurst Elmhurst Police Department

by Dave Noble, City News Editor ELMHURST – Revised conditions for senior drivers, a new fee for personal helicopters, and a heavier fine for non-conformists are among the reasons Elmhurst residents…

Wearing Green Clothing Unless You Are At Least 50% Irish: That’s Cultural Appropriation, and you should be ashamed of yo...
24/02/2023

Wearing Green Clothing Unless You Are At Least 50% Irish: That’s Cultural Appropriation, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Elmhurst St Pats Parade City of Elmhurst Spring Road Business Association Elmhurst Police Department Trinity Academy of Irish Dancing

by Dave Noble, City News Editor ELMHURST – The Elmhurst St. Patrick’s Day Parade kicks off next Saturday at noon, and more than 20,000 people are expected to attend the event. It is the largest St.…

Hosted by the Fraternal Order of Police Chicago Lodge #7, the event is for law enforcement members who oppose Critical ...
17/02/2023

Hosted by the Fraternal Order of Police Chicago Lodge #7, the event is for law enforcement members who oppose Critical Race Theory, abortion, and anything to do with transgender rights.
City of Elmhurst Elmhurst Police Department Elmhurst City Hall Portillo's in Elmhurst Governor Ron DeSantis

by Dave Noble, City News Editor ELMHURST – Temporarily removing “Elmhurst is For Everyone” banners and yard signs and concealing all references to Black History Month are among the detailed prepara…

“Our research shows that the majority of important Elmhurst residents rarely travel north of North Ave. and do not assoc...
06/02/2023

“Our research shows that the majority of important Elmhurst residents rarely travel north of North Ave. and do not associate with those folks” said Ellis, who added that he did not pursue any advertisement opportunities from businesses along north York Rd. due to their irrelevancy to the local economy and a fear for his personal safety.

by Dave Noble, City News Editor ELMHURST – Billed as a publication that will focus on “the significant parts of Elmhurst and the people who live there”, a new local monthly magazine will not be dis…

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