24/06/2021
Words of Wisdom From A Mother To Her Daughter
1. Learn the word NO. Sure, in the big, scary world out there you will be faced with endless tough choices. You know that little voice you have inside, the one that tells you something doesn't feel right? Listen to it. Respect it. And most importantly, use it to say NO. It won't be easy a lot of the time, but I assure you, you’ll almost always be glad you did.
2. Spend more time worrying about how beautiful you are inside than outside. It's fine to take pride in your appearance and want to be pretty. But if how you look is all you care about, you'll pay for it down the road. Yes, you are beautiful—magnificently, achingly so—but never forget that you didn't do anything to create or even deserve that. True beauty comes from being kind and thoughtful and compassionate. If you're ugly on the inside, you're ugly. Period.
2. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt.
But, wash your face, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.
3. You are a woman, you do NOT need a man, but you can absolutely enjoy your life with a good one.
4. Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is. Don’t confuse these.
5. Never walk through an alley alone.
6. Your body, your rules.
7. Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.
8. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.
9. Stay true to yourself always.
10. Set goals for yourself and have a plan but know that not everything goes as planned. Always have a plan B and C.
11. If you have an opinion, you’d better know why.
12. Practice your passions.
13. Ask for what you want. The worst thing they can say is no.
14. Wish on stars, and then get to work to make them happen.
15. Stay as sweet as you are.
16. Say Please, Thank You, and Pardon Me, whenever the situation warrants it.
17. Reserve “I’m sorry” for when you truly are!
18. Question everything ... except your own intuition.
19. You are amazing! Don't let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does....walk away. You deserve better.
20. No matter where you are, you can always come home.
21. Be happy and remember your roots.
22. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
23. Tolerate discomfort. Have the difficult conversations. Let yourself truly notice when other people are suffering. Do the right thing even when the right thing is hard. You are strong enough.
24. Make kindness the central theme of your life. Look for opportunities to show compassion and generosity. Don’t be tricked into thinking that happiness will come from getting what you want; happiness comes from giving, not getting. When you’re feeling down, help someone else.
25. Live with total integrity. Be transparent, honest, and authentic. Do not ever waiver from this; white lies and false smiles quickly snowball into a life lived out of alignment. It is better to be yourself and risk having people not like you than to suffer the stress and tension that comes from pretending to be someone you’re not, or professing to like something that you don’t. I promise you: Pretending will rob you of joy.
26. Let go of what other people think of you. Another person’s opinion of you is their business, not yours. Great leaders are often criticized. Especially ignore critics who seem delighted when you stumble.
27. Invite constructive criticism from the people who want the best for you. Other people offer us a different view; we need their broader perspective to grow and improve.
28. Accept that well-meaning and loving people will sometimes give you bad advice. You’ll know when something isn’t right for you because you’ll feel it in your body. Our unconscious mind is our best source of intelligence, but it communicates through intuition and bodily sensations, not words. Learn how to read your “body compass.”
29. Know the difference between legitimate and not-helpful fear. Legitimate fear, like terror in the presence of a dangerous person, makes us want to get the heck out of whatever situation we are in. When you feel legitimate fear, run like the wind. Not-helpful fear, on the other hand, makes us hesitate rather than bolt.
30. Your relationships with your family and closest friends are always more important than any achievement. Prioritize accordingly.
31. When you hurt someone, apologize. Even if you didn’t intend to hurt that person, or you think they are over-reacting.
32. Look people in the eyes when they are talking to you. Look up. Smile.
33. Don’t compare yourself to others. When we get caught in a web of thinking that we are better or worse than others, we usually end up depressed, anxious, and insecure. If you notice that you are comparing yourself to others, try asking yourself these questions: What do I appreciate about those people? How can I connect with or learn from them? How can I add value to their lives?
34. Don’t wear uncomfortable shoes, even if everyone else is doing it. High heels are the ci******es of the future; they are bad for your health and they get you in the habit of ignoring pain in order to look good to others, which is never a good idea.
35. Develop good habits. You won’t need so much willpower that way.
36. Let yourself feel what you feel. When we feel stressed out (or sad, or disappointed), we live in a world that offers many ways to numb those negative feelings—to not really feel them. But to honestly feel the positive things in life—to truly feel love, or joy, or profound gratitude—we must also let ourselves feel fear, and grief, and frustration. Your emotions are how your heart talks to you, how it tells you what choices to make. Practice listening to your heart. This is the way to know who you are and what you want.
37. Train your brain to see the positive in your life by keeping a gratitude journal.
38. Don’t believe everything you think. If a thought is stressing you out, it is probably untrue.
39. If you feel overwhelmed, unplug. Create times and places in your life every single day.
40. Make your bed, and keep your room clean. The state of your bed is the state of your head. The outside tends to match the inside.
41. Stuff won't make you happy. Oh, in the moment—when you're pining for that headband/skateboard/Fijit Friend/designer purse—you will truly, madly, passionately believe that they will. But things break. We lose them. They run out. They go out of style. They become uncool (the worst!). Happiness comes from appreciating the things you do have, not acquiring more.
42. Chase meaning, not happiness. What purpose or value does your work and your passion have for other people? If you don’t know, find out.
43. Focus on the journey, not the achievement. Instead of wishing you were somewhere else, or saving your happiness for when you get where you are going, enjoy where you are. Right now. You are always already right where you need to be.
43. Remember that talents are actually skills. “Talent” comes from hard work, passion, and great coaching or teaching.
44. Give people the benefit of the doubt. When someone does something hurtful or annoying, consider the idea that it isn’t about you. Practice compassion and empathy by putting yourself in the shoes of others.
45. If he makes you sad and cry more than three times, kick him to the curb.
46. I'm here for you, always.
47. When you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up about it. Self-criticism makes us depressed, and much more likely to make the same mistake again. Instead, remind yourself that mistakes make us human. Feel compassion for your suffering. It can feel really awful to make a mistake. It’s okay to feel awful—to feel frustrated, embarrassed, guilty, disappointed, etc. You can handle these feelings.
48. Love what is. Wishing to be older or younger, wanting other people to be different than they are, wanting it to be sunny when it is raining—this is fighting with reality, and it is a futile and frustrating pastime.
49. It's okay to wait. The other kids are rounding the bases, while you're not even sure what the bases are. That feeling of overwhelmed discomfort with the whole thing is telling you you're not ready. You'll get there someday, and there's no reason to rush. Hardly anyone ever regrets taking things slow, while a lot of girls do have remorse over rushing.
50. Girlfriends will save your life. Yes, girls can be awful, so when you find a loyal, true friend, hold onto her for dear life, and do your best to be loyal and true right back. Boys will come and go, but a good girlfriend will be your steady through the peaks, the valleys and everything in between.
51. Don't judge people (but know that you will be judged). It's a catch-22, kid: I've taught you not to assume things about people simply by the way they look or the clothes they wear; unfortunately the rest of the world won't always do the same. Remember that when you want to bare your belly or pierce your tongue or dye your hair blue. (This may not matter much to you now, but wait until you're trying to get a job or meeting your first boyfriend's—or girlfriend's—parents.)
52. B***s are overrated. Until you have them, you're going to want them. When you get them, you'll obsess about them. Are they big enough? Too big? Is one bigger than the other? (Yes, it probably is. Every breast on the planet is different, even the two sharing the same bra. Accept it and get over it.) No matter how you feel about your b***s, remember that they're not called "private parts" for nothing.So do yourself (and me!) a favor and cover them up. Nothing you could ever do screams I NEED ATTENTION like putting your perky young rack on display.
53. If you are tired, rest. Working 24/7 will get you nowhere fast.
54. Remind yourself that more is not necessarily better. Do this especially if you are worried that you won’t have enough of something, if you feel like you don’t have as much as others, or if you are feeling ungenerous with your belongings or your time. Many of your peers will spend their time striving for more: more money, more likes on Instagram, more clothes, more popular or important friends, more prestigious schools. But as they accumulate more, odds are, they’ll just want more! True abundance is not a quantity of something; it is a quality of life, a feeling of sufficiency. When we step back from the idea that more might be better, often we see that we have enough to share.
55. Get to know your grandma. Sure you love your granny, but have you taken time to really talk to her? Grandma's had a lifetime of experience being a woman, and it would be a waste to not tap into her wisdom. Ask her about what it was like growing up, the first boy she liked, how she knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. It's sad but true: She won't be around forever, so make sure you get to know her while you still can.
56. Love yourself first. Not everyone is going to like you and that's okay. Women often are obsessed with getting approval from everyone, but here's the thing: It's impossible to please everyone. The only person who absolutely must like you is, well, you. As long as you can look at the chick in the mirror and know you're making the decisions that are right for her, even if they displease someone else, you can't go wrong.
57. Not every problem is the end of the world. If every dilemma or disappointment you face is a 10 on the Drama Scale, you won't get much sympathy from anyone else. It will take you a while to develop full-fledged perspective; in the interim, play the "will this matter in five minutes/days/years?" game before you freak out about something that feels major in the moment.
58. Speak up. If you have an opinion or you aren't being treated fairly or you see something happening that you know isn't okay, it's your right and your obligation to open your mouth. You may annoy some people when you do or even impress them. Either way, it's okay. The more often you stand your ground, the sooner it will become second nature.
59. If in doubt, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown. 👑
~ Nanie Dinsay ~
