20/02/2022
Every girl that is on inmessage, Tinder and Badoo is doing prostitution and every guy that has those apps on his phone is looking for a pr******te. Nothing una wan tell me.
During my early days in Abuja, I had no female friends so one Friday afternoon, someone convinced me to download Tinder that I would meet interesting men and women that lived in the same area as me. I immediately downloaded but of course I didn’t download it to meet any man, that man dey crase. I immediately started swiping and liking pictures up and down until I saw one babe that was just less than 1km away from me.
I quickly messaged her and she responded almost immediately. Na this kind chat I dey like. In the next one hour, we had known the simple things about each other and so of course, the next line of action was to initiate a date for us to meet. Before I could ask, she was already initiating that we meet that evening. I been broke die that weekend so I wanted to postpone until next week because I no get money for fast food. In fact, the only N1k I had was for dinner that night and for Okada to ATM for when I got salary alert but this babe said she didn’t want us to go out, she wants to come to my house that evening.
I immediately accepted and gave her directions. Her house was less than 3 minutes okada from mine. I quickly borrowed my neighbor’s generator and his DSTV smart card as my own don expire. I wanted the date to be perfect.
When this babe came, I wasn’t disappointed. She looked even better than her pictures. She came indoors, and we were watching TV. I told myself that I was going to be a proper gentleman and not make any move as this was our first date.
Una know say bachelor no get chair, na only bed dey for ground so I was lying down and pressing my phone and she was sitting on the edge and watching TV. Then all of a sudden, I felt a hand on my thighs. I looked up from my phone and she was staring down at me with desire.
I looked up to the ceiling. I didn’t pray for this. But as e don come, make I take am like that. E no good when something wey you no work for, reach your hand and you come spoil am.
I pulled her over and 3 minutes later, we were both ready for the main thing. She pulled me in for one last kiss then she looked me in the eye and whispered something. I didn’t hear her well so I asked her to repeat.
“Na 10k for short time”
“What do you mean by 10k for short time?”
By now my whole body don dey on fire so I no dey understand both pidgin and English again.
“If you want to do, na 10k”
It was then my eyes cleared that she was just a pr******te. I sat down on the bed and shook my head. I don f**k up. Kai. I dressed up and she dressed up too and I began to preach to her.
I wasn’t looking for a pr******te when I signed up on Tinder, I was looking for a friend and I can’t patronize her because I don’t pay for s*x (not because I’m broke 😏).
We talked at length and she opened up to me about her life. She was an orphan, couldn’t finish University because her father died, came to Abuja to live with her Aunt but the aunt’s husband tried to sleep with her, she reported to the aunt and she threw her out, so she’s squatting with a friend and doing prostitution to help with the bills. She was a broken woman who needed a real job, a good friend and all the support she could get. She broke into tears and I comforted her. There I realized that behind even society’s bad eggs, there was a story to tell. I pulled her close to me and told her I’ll be her friend and support her whichever way I can.
I held her for long and somehow we started kissing again, this time it didn’t seem like a business transaction, this time it was real, it was romantic. I took off my clothes again and she took off hers, then just as we were to begin. I heard another whisper.
“As na you, pay N5k”
(c) Brian Denise
