20/12/2023
Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life!
It would have been my son’s 21st birthday.
I would give anything to have him here and share this moment with him.
Before yesterday, I’d always spent this day somewhere near the ocean, crying, alone.
I never wanted to let anyone else in because I believed that nobody could understand my pain.
I remarried three years ago to an amazing woman. Over the years, she’d ask how I wanted to spend the milestone days. I knew that she was really asking if she could be there with me and for me, but I’d never let her in.
This year, I decided to try something new.
Yesterday, my wife and I sat at a local restaurant and toasted Perry.
I told her how unfair it seemed for God to have taken him so early. That a part of me is gone forever, how the world feels different, and all I want is to see his smile, hear his infectious laugh, and feel his warm, firm embrace one more time. But that’s not possible.
I cried so much that there were no more tears. She didn’t say anything. She just sat there with me, touching my hand, and holding me.
When we got home, I felt a sense of peace that I’d never experienced before.
This morning, I realized that I’d been doing myself and my wife a great disservice.
Just having her there with me, to listen and hold my hand, was far more healing than I’d expected.
Men: If you’re grieving, whether it be the loss of a loved one, a job, or a relationship, and someone who loves you is expressing interest in being there with you and for you, and you’ve been shutting them out for any reason…
Try something new!
Let them in. I’d bet that you, too, will experience a higher, more profound sense of healing.
