17/03/2021
I have been thinking a lot about why animals hold such dear space within us. I've come to believe it is because they know neither fear of the future nor regret of the past. They live without ego and therefore offer us the chance to be truly present, with them and with ourselves, where the Spirit lives and where Truth can be found. Now is the only time where the really real exists. All else is an illusion. I knew this day would come but I did not know it would come so soon. Then again, no one does. Even if Choca had lived another 10 years it would have still taken the wind from my soul to lose her, as it did on Sunday night. I really don't have any words to sum up what she means to me, perhaps that makes sense for a relationship throughout which words were completely unnecessary. She taught me how to be still and yet not feel alone, which made it safe to explore why I was so addicted to noise. In the stillness of the many summits, trail rides, picnics, swims and frisbee throws we shared, I have started to discover life abundant. And because of that, Choca will never truly be gone.
“The eager dog lies strange and still who roamed the woods with me; Then while I stood or climbed the hill Or sat under a tree,
Awaiting what more time might say, He thrashed in undergrowth, Pursuing what he scared away, Made ruckus for us both.
He’s dead; I go more quiet now, Stillness added to me By time and sorrow, mortal law, By loss of company
That his new absence has made new. Though it must come by doom, This quiet comes by kindness too, And brings me nearer home,
For as I walk the wooded land The morning of God’s mercy, Beyond the work of mortal hand, Seen by more than I see.
The quiet deer look up and wait, Held still in quick of grace. And I wait, stop footstep and thought. We stand here face to face.” - Wendell Berry
