08/11/2021
A plea to Single Mothers: PUT YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE YOUR LOVERS.
In all my years (over 20 of them) working in mental health, few things comes close when it comes to damaging children, than Mothers who put their love lives above the welfare of their children.
Firstly I have to say, I have the utmost admiration for single Mothers, who often find themselves alone through no fault of their own. They often have to work round the clock to balance earning a living with raising their children, with little or no financial or social support. It has got to be one of the hardest things for anyone to do, and I do take my hat off and applaud all the single mothers out there👏🏿👏🏿. I have a lot of these strong matriarchas in my own family and have only the utmost admiration for them💝 .
That being said, I also know that single Mothers have physical and emotional needs which need to be addressed however they chose to do so and this is not what my post is about.
My main concern is with getting priorities right. I know to some, the fact I am not and have never been a single mother disqualifies me from saying anything about how single mothers should live their lives, and they are entitled to that opinion, however feel I owe it to the millions of children out there who have been damaged by their mothers' choice to put their love lives before their children to speak up about this.
Children are helpless and they need the protection, both physically and emotionally, of their primary care givers, in this case, Mothers.
We see it in the animal kingdom, when a lioness or rhino has little ones, no males are welcome near them until their young ones have grown up and fled the nest. Before that, they protect themselves and their territory quite aggressively so that their children are not exposed to any invading males.
If animals can do that, how much more wiser should those of us who are made in the image of God and who have the ability to reason be?
A mother should prioritise her children's needs and shield them from evil, including strange, illuntentioned men. Any man should be treated suspiciously until proven innocent when it comes to your children. Trust him all you like, but do not play Russian roulette with your children. He should not be meeting your children unless he is ready to marry you. If he can't be your husband, your kids have no business being introduced to a boyfriend.
Many children have been sexuallly abused because their mothers have brought lovers to their home and exposed their own children to predatory paedophiles.
Children often have to deal with many lovers coming and going into their mothers lives, in some cases they are allowed to bond with these passers by only to be disappointed time and time again.
Please spare your children this emotional pain which scars them for life.
Please Ladies, priorities your children's needs. Children are being hurt because women are more concerned about satisfying their own desires than protecting their children. If you must satisfy your needs, do so away from your children and away from social media and that must not be taking you away from your time with the kids. It's the reason why a lot of women often opt to stay single, putting the needs of their children before their own desires.
There are children whose lives have been destroyed by their mothers' lovers and often, this goes unaddressed and in some cases, these men have been allowed to continue molesting the children while the mothers pay a blind eye. This damage inflicted on the children is permanent and God will hold such mothers accountable because they are colluding with these abusers by giving them access to their children.
Children never asked to be brought into this world, its their right to be protected, and if you must go without satisfying your own needs to do so, then it needs to be done.
Please, please put your children before your love life, you owe it to them.
Written with much love and concern and on behalf of the millions of children whose lives have been damaged 💔
