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23/12/2023

Yes, my plan is working, immediately I opened my door, and like a zombie, she walked in as if she rented the place for me

Immediately she entered, I jumped on her and missed

I didn’t envisage how fast she was, she ran and screamed

I quickly increased the volume of my speakers, nobody will save you today, my loud music drowned her screams

She ran from my sitting room to the bedroom

I shut the door with her inside, ran to the kitchen, and brought out my knife

Then I entered, closed the door, and after a few seconds, I caught her by the throat, all sweaty and panting.

I carried her to the kitchen where the pot was boiling already, set her down, and ki||ed the chicken I had been eyeing for long

I couldn’t ki|| her outside so I wouldn’t leave any evidence

I put her in the boiling water when the feathers were softened, I plucked them out

Boiled some and fried the rest.

I took my time to fry the laps I had been longing for since the first day she entered my street

In the evening, I bought beer and called my close guys who were my accomplices in chick napping

Together, we ate the chicken wings and laps drank beer and I gisted them about how I caught the latest chicken

I saw both envy and admiration in their eyes

Christmas don sure, because I still have some parts remaining in the fridge.

If there's any beautiful chic in your neighborhood you desire but don't have the means, whether native, broiler, or hybrid, just call me... I am the Chicnapper

We'll share, 60/40

The End

23/12/2023

I live in a very rough neighborhood

If you’re new, naive or you don’t know your way around, anything can happen to you, especially this festive season

In fact, my neighborhood is so rough, that any chic that enters unaccompanied, the guys will not let her rest

So, one day, this ravishing-looking black beautiful chic moved into the neighborhood

She was so beautiful and thick, full laps, and robust-looking, she made me lick my tongue every time she walked past. I loved them thick, especially with full laps and fat behind and she had it all.

We were all wondering who was chaperoning this luscious-looking beauty

Was she really unchaperoned?

It seemed impossible

So, all my guys watched her for days

Me, I put my investigative prowess into action

I stylishly asked around without raising suspicions to know if she had been seen with anyone in the neighborhood

Nobody seemed to have the answer so I swore she was gonna be mine this holiday

I needed something to warm my insides since Harmattan was coming

Daily, I watched her like a hawk, walking around like she owned the world. She moved her round, fat ars£ everywhere, shaking it left to right, looking rounder and more beautiful with each passing day

I realized I was not the only guy eyeing her

I had to act fast before these criminals beat me to it and have a taste

I soon realized she loved food. I discovered anytime she is coming to our street she is either eating something or looking for what to eat, and she loved rice best so I decided to set a trap for her

I waited for the time she usually came around the neighborhood, which was between 5 and 6 in the evening

So, I started cooking, I made sure my kitchen window was open so the aroma could be perceived outside

Like clockwork, she arrived by 5 pm sharp, immediately I peeped from the window, and I saw her walk in as usual, stop, turn, and then start walking towards my room

Yes, my plan is working, immediately I opened my door, and like a zombie

23/12/2023

My wife is fond of using her phone till the battery runs low and then I’m always the one charging it for her.

Every night before we go to bed, as I’m plugging mine, I’ll plug hers too. It now became my responsibility to charge her phone battery for her every night.

I got tired of reminding her as she’d always tell me to charge it for her, I decided to teach her a lesson

One night I plugged mine and left her own unplugged and the next morning when they seized power her battery was flat. She was now upset at me, asking me why I didn’t charge her phone when I charged mine.

I asked her if I was her designated charger or PA or if she was paying me to charge her phone for her. If you don’t remember to charge your phone then leave it. When the battery goes flat you will remember.

She smiled at me and didn’t say anything. That will teach her, I smiled to myself.

The following day, after preparing for work, I couldn't find my belongings, my pair of stockings, belt, wallet, and even my car keys, and when I went to ask her, she asked me if she was my PA, or my designated house help and if I can’t remember where I kept them, I should stay at home.

I went to work very late that day and had to wear something else, thankfully I later found my car keys under the couch where I threw them the previous day

That night, as I charged my phone, I did the same for hers too. The next morning, after I dressed up and was ready to go to work, my things were all organized and arranged. My stockings and belt were on the couch, and my wallet and car keys were on the table in the sitting room.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Teamwork makes the dream work.

23/12/2023

I quickly checked my chats but then I realized I had deleted it, apparently he is using GB WhatsApp so he deleted the parts that were convenient for him and left mine

I was fired on the spot, and he was promoted to my position

Two weeks later, I got a writing gig from Netflix to shoot one of my stories with a big-shot Hollywood producer, Zack Snyder.

We worked on the first black Superman movie and I was the lead storywriter.

Guess what, I now own the company because the first thing I did with the money I made from the movie was to buy my former company and then I made my former colleague the security guard, and my former boss my driver.

Omo, Imagination wan finish me like this!

Sorry, but there’s no aspiration to perspire to McGuire yet. I just wanted to waste everybody’s time now that I’m jobless and I’ve plenty of time to waste but I dreamt that Netflix bought my story sha and I became rich.

E just never happen yet.

The End

23/12/2023

HOW I BECAME A BILLIONAIRE OVERNIGHT…

No side hustles, no inheritance, no shady deals.

This is how it happened

My friend and junior colleague chatted me up one day and told me he wanted to quit because he went for an interview and he believed he would get the job, and the pay was even better than the current one

I was happy for him and congratulated him.

We have been friends for a long time and even started working together but while I kept getting promoted, he was stuck in the rank he was employed as

He begged me not to tell anyone because he didn’t want to quit until he got the job and also wanted to receive his salary for that month

I smiled and said, of course, I even joked with him that I would keep his secret provided he would give me part of his salary once he got paid

Then he asked me for a good excuse since he knows I’m a storyteller and can come up with something believable

I advised him to lie that he’s going for surgery due to a lingering health condition he can’t divulge and he needs time to take care of himself and can’t continue with the job

He begged me to delete the chat from my WhatsApp for our safety

I agreed and wiped the chats clean

Two weeks later, he’s still coming to work

I called him aside and asked him, howfar, aren’t you quitting again?

He said he didn’t get the job

I sympathized with him

The following day, I received a summon from our HR, and when I got there, the MD plus other senior-level managers were seated while my colleague was standing facing them.

Next, they showed me screenshots of my chats with my colleague, advising him to quit his job and not tell anyone while giving him great excuses to lie to the company and even promising to keep his secrets if he would give me his salary at the end of the month

My colleague was there, in tears, telling them he turned down the offer I got him with another company but couldn’t keep quiet about my involvement because he felt I was not a good person

I quickly checked my

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