05/06/2024
God told me to share this with yall too. I share it on my personal page but God said âcopy and paste it where ppl you donât know can see it. You never know who it might saveâ
So boom, I asked God to lead me in everything I do this year.
November 19, 2023 was the night that I found myself with the man that I loved hands around my neck. All that night I was trying to get away from him, trying to calm him down, trying to go home to keep the peace.
The drama started the day before when I told him that I wanted to go home because we have been spending so much time together I started to notice, there was a rift in our chemistry.
The next day he took it upon himself to pester me and make it hard for me to be at peace while at work in his familyâs business. It started from the workplace at the bar, to the upstairs residency, back downstairs to the bar, and when I couldnât take it anymore, I tried to leave. He then grabbed me by my shirt collar and pulled me close to him to ask me where do I think Iâm going?
All of my 33 years I have never been in a physically abusive relationship. Mentally abusive yes, emotionally abusive yes, spiritually abusive yes but physically never.
I grabbed my things to leave out of the bar and go home. The entire time this was happening. The only thing that was said was âthis is not the time nor the place.â As if there was ever a time or a place to endure the verbal abuse and soon to be physical abuse That was being thrown at me. I looked at his sister to tell her goodbye only to see the sorrow in her eyes. Nobody came after me. Nobody asked me if I was OK. Nobody stopped him!
He followed me out only to push me down the stairs at the door, thank God I didnât fall. He then began to berate me with name-calling and insults all while Iâm trying to lure him away from the bar, so they wouldnât get bad publicity because IT IS RIVERWEST and as a black owned business they didnât need nothing making them look bad. đ¤Śđ˝ââď¸ even while enduring abuse I was still being considerate to him and his family.
He took that as me walking away from him as he was talking to me, proceeded to grab me by my coat and pull me down as I was walking away. Which led to my coat being ripped and me falling and hurting my wrist.
Needless to say by this point, I realized how much trouble I was in. This man could overpower me and there was nothing I could do about it.
I was only so many blocks away from the bar so I figured I could make it. He began to follow me telling me how he wanted to talk, getting more upset that I wouldnât talk to him.
As I crossed the street on Chambers and he ran to catch me to lift me up off my feet asked me where I was going what I was doing and I was doing this. He continue to pick me up off the ground just to throw me back down. I try to grab a fire extinguisher. He pluckedďżź me off of it so easily.
So for the next 10 minutes, I feared not for my life as much as my physical body. Or so I thought. The moment that I had a chance to text my uncle to let him know where I was at, and that I needed to be picked up which was all of maybe a minute. As Iâm trying to get away from him and him constantly following me trying to drag me back to where his truck was. I grabbed hold of a tree. Of course he pryed me off of the tree, and at that point, I tried to pull his pants down to get him to focus on something other than me. But that didnât work and the next thing I knew I was being strangled.
My uncle pulled up he got off of me IMMEDIATELY and I got home safely. Nobody else was harmed. I didnât have my glasses, my wallet or my keys. We asked him if he had it as if he would all of a sudden come to his senses.
I was shaking. My mind have been completely warped and I honestly did not know what to do at that point and just cry myself to sleep. This man proceeded to call me 20 times sending voice notes, leaving voicemails, text messages, apologizing, saying that he just wanted to talk . The next morning, I called the police with no hesitation.
This man pulled up to my house as if NOTHING had happened as I was on the front porch, telling the police what happened only to give me my keys, my wallet, and my glasses that he said he didnât have the night before. They arrested him he yelled âWHAT SHE SAY? THAT I TOUCHED HER?! I AINT PUT MY HANDS ON THAT GIRL! VANEESA PLEASE DONT DO THIS I JUST WANNA TALK!â I broke downâŚ
He went to jail his truck was left at my house. His sister came to pick up his truck. She then called me to ask me what was going on as she didnât already know.
He plead not guilty all while his sister sat there never making eye contact as if she wasnât there when he continuously cursed me out, called me n my family out of our names, at her home and at her business.
He got an attorney the day of the hearing which pushed things back, but luckily for me my restraining order was granted his gun that he had on him during the altercation was taken away.
I donât know if heâll go to jail or not but AT LEAST if a woman decides to date him and she caps him there will be a paper trail of what he did to me and whatâs heâs capable of doing to her!
Almost everyone in my friends list knew this man. Knew that I was talking to this man. Knew that we were in relationship and the only warning I got was âwatch out for his mental health.â As if we all donât suffer from it.
He told me stories of women causing him harm, and of course claimed it was because they was crazy. And like a fool, I believed him. When his family would come and visit, they would look at me astonished and say âyou still hanging in there?!â And I naively thought they were talking about his emotions and sensitivity.
I say all that to say, please follow your intuition, please peep the signs, please learn how to read things that have not been written and learn how to listen to things that arenât being said.
But most importantly, donât let what happened to you become you because baby God said Iâm a win regardless
â¤ď¸ I started my hair line
â¤ď¸ I launched my travel agent business
â¤ď¸ I moved out of the state
â¤ď¸ I moved into the SPECIFIC apartment I asked God for
â¤ď¸ my credit score has been going up
â¤ď¸ I got my first secure card in over 3 years
And it all started with abuse, trauma, shadow work and self acceptance.
So to the women and the men who have endured anything similar to what I have. A lover who crossed a sexual boundary and lied to your face/gaslit you as well as others. Or a lover who caused you physical harm when you thought they were your safe place.
You become that for yourself allow God to become that for you and I promise you no one would ever hurt you again.
Keep going and be your number one supporter and I will catch yâall on my other page
đ âđ˝
