23/01/2024
Many of us are really struggling with the sudden, tragic, and devastating loss of our friend Juan Mendez aka Silent Servant (Official), in addition to his wife Simone Ling, and Luis Vasquez aka The Soft Moon. May they all rest in peace.
I met Juan sometime around I’m guessing 2004 via my friends Marcus Miller and Jon Santos at subTonic, the venue that housed The Bunker for our first 5 years. He went on to be a guest DJ (and occasional live artist as well) at The Bunker more than any other artist in our history. As I’ve thought back on nearly 20 years of knowing Juan these past couple days, I keep coming back to his many admirable qualities. It was helpful for me to write some of his key qualities down, and I wanted to share them here. I’ve learned so much from Juan over the years, and his example will continue to be a shining light to me for the rest of my life.
Visionary: This one is a no brainer. Juan’s innovative contributions to music and design deserve the widespread celebration you’ve seen across many eulogies this week, and then some. He played at The Bunker many times in the 2009-2015 era when techno was really blowing up in NYC again, and truly helped to redefine what techno was. His productions and design for Sandwell District and Jealous God brought countless people from the post punk, industrial, EBM, and noise scenes into the techno fold. The way he flawlessly connected all of those dots for us behind the decks was truly unparalleled. And he had the art and design chops to present this all visually as well, in a singular way we’d never seen in techno before. I clearly saw his artistic vision transform my party and our scene in general. He made techno cool to a whole new generation of freaks and geeks who never felt welcome at clubs and raves. It’s impossible to overstate his influence, he’s truly a giant of modern music.
Empathetic: In a scene full of many people who only want to give attention to those who they think can help their own career, Juan connected with everyone, no matter their place on the social totem pole. In the past few days, I’ve seen so many moving and deeply personal eulogies not just from his peers in the music world, but from fans he developed genuine friendships with. He cared so much about all of his friends. He genuinely checked and wanted to know how you were really doing, way beyond the small talk that dominates most club conversations. He mentored countless people, his capacity for it seemed almost limitless.
Generous: One of my favorite Juan stories is the time he called me and asked me to pick up a piece of art at ACE Hotel in Manhattan. He had been curated into a group art show and it didn’t sell and he didn’t want to deal with having it shipped to LA. I of course agreed to go grab it, having no idea what it was, simply because Juan was my dude and I wanted to help. When I got there, I was amazed to see it was a framed original Mendez collage that became part of Sandwell District’s “Feed Forward” artwork. I texted Juan that I had it for him and got in a cab to ride home and he told me to keep it. I was absolutely floored, and it’s become a prized possession that hangs on my wall to this day, a daily reminder or Juan. I can’t tell you how many times Juan gave me a t-shirt, a record (multiple times when I asked him what he was playing, he’d just hand me the record to keep), glasses frames, and so on. And as noted above, he was just so generous with his time and energy. I know so many people have stories like this, he was genuinely a give you the shirt off his back kind of guy.
Vulnerable: Juan was always SO real. I’ll never forget the time he sat at mine and Seze’s kitchen table at our old Williamsburg loft and went super deep on his process around his childhood wounds, relationship with his parents, etc etc. In my late 20s at this point, I think he was literally the first man I had this kind of conversation with. It ultimately motivated me to get into therapy, and when I think about it now, was a huge turning point in my life that ultimately really pushed me to the path I’m on now.
Humble: When I met Juan I was a *gigantic* fan of a label he co-ran in the 90s called Cytrax and released music as Jasper. The Bunker was a low key affair with very little budget for guest DJs at the time. Juan would come by at least a couple times a year when he was visiting NYC from LA, and I’d always beg him to let me know the next time he’d be around so he could bring some records and play at our party. I can’t tell you how many people were begging me to play the party at that time, and I simply couldn’t get Juan to do it! This went on for years without him playing, with him saying things like “nah, you don’t need me playing records at your party”, until he finally agreed to play in 2009 when the new Silent Servant project was really starting to gain steam. Juan’s music was his art. He made his art for art’s sake, because he had something to express. I always got the sense he would be making his music whether or not anyone paid attention. He just happened to be gifted and visionary enough that he caught the attention of a worldwide fan base. Juan almost always had some kind of job outside of music. He talked about how he liked that because it took the pressure off of making art to pay the bills. He only released the music that came from the depths of his soul. He only played the gigs he wanted to play, and was constantly turning things down that he didn’t think were cool and aligned with his aesthetics and values. He never expected a career or anything from music, he did it because he loved it. This is the way it should be, but rarely is for most artists.
I honestly could go on and on about Juan’s many good qualities but I’ll leave it there for now.
- Bryan Kasenic, The Bunker New York
