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Close Quarters Mom

GATEKEEPER. PROTECTOR. MAMA
On a mission to challenge mothers to do better and be better.

28/12/2024

December 2024 ❤️

05/12/2024

Wow! I have six children. Six little lives I get to nurture, guide, and love. What an indescribable blessing it is to be their mom. Sometimes, I find myself just staring at them in awe—each one so unique, so full of life, and so deeply loved by God. I’m forever thankful He entrusted me with them.

I’m filled with gratitude for this calling. There’s so much on my heart to share, yet my words often feel so small compared to the enduring truth of God’s Word, which stands forever. I never want to come here and act like I have all the answers or the perfect wisdom for motherhood. I’m still learning every day. But what I do have is a genuine love for this role and a desire to pour out what I’ve learned, both the beautiful and the hard.

This year has been one of the most transformative of my life, but it hasn’t been without struggle. At the beginning of the year, I lost my mom, and the truth is, a part of me died with her. I’m still processing that loss, and I don’t fully understand all the implications or intricacies, but I know I am not the same person I was before.

For the first time in my motherhood journey, I felt overwhelmed. It was such a foreign feeling to me—not because I think I’m some kind of superhuman, but because I had never experienced that deep, consuming weight when it came to my kids. Losing my mom shook me in ways I never expected. In some moments, it felt like I was learning how to be a mom all over again, while simultaneously longing to be mothered myself.

Yet, even in my struggle, God has been faithful. He’s met me in my weakness and reminded me that He is my strength. I’ve learned so much—not just about myself, but about these amazing children I get to call mine. They’ve shown me grace when I’ve been less than I wanted to be. They’ve been my joy when the days felt heavy. Motherhood is truly a gift. It’s a refining fire, a humbling journey, and a treasure beyond words. I don’t take it lightly, and I don’t take it for granted.

I’m alive. I’m blessed. I’m deeply thankful. Let the sanctification continue, no matter the cost, no matter the loss—because Jesus is my everything!

30/11/2024

Today, I humbly share that I’ve completed reading through the entire Bible for the third time, this time following a 6-month plan. I began this year with a goal: to read through the Bible for the 2nd time. My husband, a group of faithful believers, and I committed to the plan, and together we finished it. Just a day later, I received the worst news of my life—my mother had passed away.

In the midst of that heartbreak, the words of Scripture seemed to leap off the pages. Certain passages and stories were illuminated like never before, bringing comfort, strength, and clarity in the darkest moments. It was in that season I knew I would never stop reading. I realized there would never be a good enough excuse not to open God’s Word. We have the time—we truly do.

In June, I began reading through again, and this time it became a healing balm for my soul. I can’t fully express with words the power that emanates from Scripture and its ability to connect so deeply with your spirit. Today, as I complete the Bible once more, I reflect on the transformative power of God’s Word and how it has carried me through one of the toughest seasons of my life.

As we approach the new year, I’ll be starting another journey through the entire Bible, ending in March. After that, I’ll be spending the rest of the year diving deeply into the New Testament. I want to encourage you to join me or take your own steps toward reading the Word.

This is the best thing you can do for your spiritual development and your relationship with God. His Word is alive and active—it will strengthen, convict, and transform you. If you’re longing for a deeper connection with God, start today. Open the pages, and watch how He meets you right where you are. Let’s journey through the Word together and grow in Him. I’ll share more about the new year plan in a few weeks ❤️

23/11/2024

Life lately 🤎

Eternally thankful 🥹

22/11/2024

As labor grew more intense and I longed for relief, I decided it was finally time to get into the birthing pool. Earlier in the process, my husband had lovingly discouraged me from getting in, reminding me that when I feel relaxed labor usually stalls. Looking back, I’m so grateful I listened. Getting in too soon might have slowed things down, and that wasn’t what I wanted. As intense as things were, I found myself wishing everything would slow down—but not really. Deep down, I wanted things to move quickly so I could meet my baby as soon as possible. In the midst of it all, I felt so grateful knowing my prayers were being answered in real time.

When I finally reached what felt like my breaking point (though I know now it was just transition speaking), everyone agreed it was time. The hot water felt glorious as I sank in, like being wrapped in a big, hot hug. It didn’t take the pain away, but it brought a sense of comfort that helped me press on. I remember asking for the water to be hotter, and my husband boiled water in our biggest pot to pour in.

I was only in the pool for about 20 minutes, but so much happened in that short time. In my specific prayers for this birth, I had asked God not to have a water birth—I wanted to deliver on or near my bed. As I labored in the water, I began to lose my mucus plug, and shortly after, my water broke. We couldn’t see it because I was submerged, but I felt it. It was like a sudden release of pressure, immediately followed by the intensified pains of labor that signaled baby was on his way.

At this point, I was utterly spent. I had no strength left in my legs. The urge to push overtook me, and for the first time in any of my labors, I screamed. It hurt. I was working so hard, and the pain was real, but I don’t shy away from pain—it’s a beautiful, transformative experience. Every time I face it, I come out changed. Pain refines me, and I embrace that.

I was grunting, making all the primal sounds, and then I saw the faces of my children. They were watching as their baby brother’s head began to emerge, their eyes wide with awe. It was such a beautiful sight—one I couldn’t fully take in at the moment, but looking back, I see how special it was. It was an answered prayer to have all five of my children present to witness their brother’s arrival

My husband’s voice brought me back to the moment. “I can see the baby’s head,” he said. A few moments later: “I can see his forehead.” Usually, when it comes to pushing, my babies come quickly, but my body was so tired this time. Then he said, “I can see his ear—I have his little ear in my hand!” That gave me a surge of excitement, but I could barely feel my legs anymore.

Sensing I needed a change, my husband suggested we move out of the pool. With the help of my aunt, cousin, and husband, I was lifted—though my legs weren’t cooperating much! (I laugh now because I was really trying to help them help me, but my legs just weren’t legging.) They got me to the side of my bed, where I began to push with all the strength I had left.

With one push, his head was fully out. And then, with another, his precious little body was born. Sweet relief! I was instantly able to stand and hold Wisdom in my arms—the moment I had prayed for and dreamed about for months. He was perfect—healthy, whole, and beautiful.

As I held him close, I saw my eldest son, Valor, overcome with emotion. Watching him cry as he witnessed his brother’s arrival warmed my heart like nothing else. He became a big brother for the third time, and his tears spoke volumes about the love and awe in that room.

God answered every single prayer I prayed about this birth. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and in love with this sweet baby boy. This mama of six feels so incredibly blessed. God has been so kind to me, and I love Him deeply. He is a good good father and I’ll abide in the shadow of my almighty God all the days of my life.

20/11/2024

The time is now 4:30 a.m., in the wee hours of November 7th, and I can’t sleep through the contractions anymore. They demand my full attention. I get up and head straight to the shower because hot water is my thing, it soothes me, grounds me, and helps me relax through the waves of labor. I stayed in there until I used up every drop of hot water.

When I got out, I texted my mother-in-law to let her know, Today is the day. She texted back saying they had just gotten on the road. Look at God working things out! Usually, my husband and I handle labor on our own, just the two of us, but this time, I really wanted my aunt and cousin to be there with me.

I picked up the phone and called my t**i, Bertha. As soon as she answered, a flood of emotions overcame me. My thoughts went straight to my mother. How I longed for her to be there with me. I pictured her face, imagining her smile and her voice. In some inexplicable way, it brought me a sense of peace, enough to allow me to press on without her. My aunt and cousin were now en route, ready to stand by my side.

By 6:30 a.m, the whole house was awake. All my kiddos woke up early and were watching me work through these contractions. Y’all, let me talk about these contractions for a minute because they were INTENSE. The most intense contractions I’ve ever experienced in my life.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had been praying and believing God for a quick labor. I have a history of long, hard labors, and while I didn’t spend much time asking Him to take the pain away (I’ve come to see pain as part of life), I was very specific about the duration. I prayed, “Lord, I can handle 10 hours or less. Let it be quick and smooth.” And y’all, let me testify—God heard me! My labor was exactly 10 hours long. Exactly!! Look at God!

But those 10 hours were unlike anything I had ever experienced. The contractions came every 2–3 minutes, relentless and unwavering. Each one lasted 5–7 minutes. I didn’t get a single break, not one moment of reprieve. But in those moments, when I felt my weakest and utterly spent, I was reminded of this truth: in my weakness, He is strong. And somehow, through His strength, I found my own.

My birth team—my husband, t**i, cousin, and my kiddos—were everything I needed. They rubbed my back, held my hand, and just stood by me, making me feel so loved and supported. I spent most of the time on my birth ball, which left me with what felt like the leg workout of a lifetime!

Now let me take a minute to brag on my husband, Nathaniel. He’s just the best. If you know him, you already know he’s a genius. He’s good at everything, like literally everything, and it’s almost unfair haha This time, he decided to learn how to check dilation, and of course, he nailed it. He knew exactly what he was doing and could tell exactly how dilated I was.

Now I’m in transition! Y’all, transition is no joke. It’s the moment I feel my weakest—the moment I think, I can’t do this anymore. It’s where I feel like I’m barely surviving. And Nathaniel knew exactly what that meant: the baby was coming.

At this point, I decided to get into the birth pool, hoping for some relief or at least a little slowdown in contractions. But let me tell you, those contractions did not let up.

Part 2 (to be continued)

20/11/2024

I want to begin by saying that I do not sensationalize anything. I’m a very matter-of-fact person. I don’t exaggerate, and I don’t stretch the truth. I preface this because I want all the glory and credit to go to my God. He is so good, so faithful, and so worthy of praise.

On March 28, 2024, I found out I was pregnant. Five days later, my mother passed away. To say that this pregnancy was difficult is an understatement. Grief and pregnancy coupled together created one of the most trying seasons of my life. Yet, even in my deepest pain, I felt the most gentle and loving prompt from the Holy Spirit: Trust Me.

At just seven weeks pregnant, I was navigating the weight of caring for my baby, planning my mother’s funeral, and walking through the immense loss of her absence. Hard doesn’t even begin to describe it. But God, in His kindness, saw me through and carried me every single step of the way.

I began to pray and believe in detail for the birth I desired. As my pregnancy progressed, I found strength in trusting Him. I know God’s promises are true. I prepared for this birth with intention, knowing that God would meet me in the moment.

As November began, I knew baby was coming soon. My due date was November 14th, but deep down, I knew I wouldn’t make it that long. My body had been preparing for so many weeks, and I was ready. I began praying, asking God to allow the baby to come on that Thursday or Friday. My in-laws were planning to make the 8-hour drive from GA to help with the kids, meals, & of course, to meet their newest grandbaby. It was hard to plan anything with certainty—after all, birth doesn’t work on a schedule. But I had faith that God heard my prayers & would time everything perfectly.

Fast forward to Wednesday, Nov 6—our 14th wedding anniversary. That evening, I was naturally induced (if you know what I mean). About an hour later, the contractions began. My husband & I enjoyed a late steak dinner together, and it was delicious. Afterward, we went to bed, and although the contractions continued throughout the night, I was able to sleep. That, in itself, was an ANSWER to prayer. Normally, I can’t sleep through contractions, but this time, I did.

15/11/2024

Yesterday, my firstborn son turned 7 years old—what a truly special age! This young man is such a treasure, so uniquely crafted by God, and there is no one else in the world like him.

I’m so thankful I get to be his mommy. Watching him grow and witnessing the amazing person he’s becoming is one of my greatest joys. I love him more than words can say!

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY VALOR HEIR ❤️

10/11/2024

Meet Wisdom Roar Cruz 🩵

Born November 7th, safely at home, weighing in at 8lbs 2oz.

The Lord carried me through every moment of my most intense labor yet, from the very first pang to the final breath that brought Wisdom safely into my arms.
I’m in awe and so deeply grateful for this little life. I’m soaking in every bit of newborn glory, knowing just how blessed we are. Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift—you’ve been with us all the way.

I’m in loooooooooove with the cuuuutest baby boy!

06/11/2024

At 13, I was radically saved in a moment of profound, ordained encounter with God. That experience changed me forever. In that instant, I passed from death to life, sealed with the promised Holy Spirit. Since then, my heart has been steadfast, carrying an unshakable love for God and a fervent desire to be led by His Spirit—the Spirit of truth and righteousness who guides us into ALL things pure and true.

Fast forward to 2016, as a young mother to two beautiful girls, I began to pay attention to the political climate, sensing the need to voice my convictions. I started sharing my thoughts, believing that truth mattered more than comfort. The response was pretty wild; nearly everyone I knew responded with disdain, both in words and actions. Yet, offense did not easily take hold of me—I had thick skin and an even thicker resolve. My drive to please God and stand for truth far outweighed the reactions of offended, unseeing, undiscerning people.

Then, in 2020, I gave birth to our fourth child at home with my husband in the midst of what I believe was one of the darkest orchestrations and crimes against humanity—COVID-19. The hatred we received was vile and relentless. I was called every name imaginable, not just against me but against my husband and even my children. Some of these words came from people we had known personally. And yet, I remembered: *Blessed are the persecuted for righteousness’ sake.* This wasn’t persecution in the fullest sense, but it was a testing ground, and I am thankful for it. It strengthened me, refined me, and taught me so much. Persecution in the days to come will be much worse for Jesus loving Bible believing Christian’s.

Now in 2024, I’m days away from welcoming our sixth child, filled with gratitude. What a time to be alive! Prophecies being fulfilled, history is being made, and many are awakening from slumber and deception.

07/09/2024

₁. My Boys 🩵🩵
₂. Hello 3rd Trimester🤰🏻
₃. Bro’s For Life 🤘🏼👍🏼
₄. My Baaaaby 🐟💙
₅. The Excitement for 2025 Opening
₆. Victory & Justice 💕💕
₇. Hubby 🤤 & Honor 🧸
₈. Jr Driving School 🚘
₉. Noble’s Favorite Human 💜🩵
₁₀. Cutest Cook 😍

29/08/2024

🤎 MY LOVE 🤎

Men and women are two completely different beings, and that’s exactly how God intended it. Our differences are beautiful and when that truth is understood on both sides it’s powerful!

This November, Nathaniel and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage. The truth is, we don’t need anything from each other because we are whole in christ. BUT we get to enjoy marriage.

As women, it’s easy to get lost in thoughts like, ‘I wish he were sweeter,’ or ‘I wish he helped me more,’ or insert your complaint. While these feelings might be valid, you can’t change a person or make them do the things the way you want them to be done or think they should be done. Trying to mold someone into your likeness of what they should be will drive you mad, you’re not God!

Instead, I’d rather spend my time loving and blessing the man I get to share my life with. I don’t want to waste time hating or being annoyed with the person I’m meant to live life with. That’s miserable.

There is absolutely no one like this man, and my children and I are blessed to have his love and leadership in our lives. Through the good and the bad, keep praying and keep loving. Don’t allow the enemy to lie and steal from you. Marriage is such a blessing, and I’m thankful for this beautiful man beside me. Even on my worst days, he loves me, and he’s constant. We are two imperfect humans learning to love each other deeply, as Christ loves us. We fail, we fight, but we also love, laugh, and share a truly beautiful life together.

I’m thankful 🤍

22/07/2024

EnJOYing summer with my favorite people!

Authenticity is beautiful!! I don’t have a perfect marriage; perfect kids; a perfect house; a perfect body; a perfect homeschool; there is nothing about me or my life that is perfect. But I have a BEAUTIFUL life. It’s real. I couldn’t care less about the fruitless pursuit of perfection that would take my time or energy away from the fulfilling life I live all because of JESUS CHRIST!

My spirit is ablaze, and my heart and mind are set on eternity. Nothing else matters. All else is meaningless, as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes: ‘Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!’ (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Chasing after worldly things is like chasing the wind (Ecclesiastes 1:14). My focus remains on what is eternal and true.

Being a daughter of God, Nathaniel's wife, and the mother to these amazing children is beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and blessed beyond measure for the life I get to live 🥹🙌🏼

15/07/2024

I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy and feeling great and so blessed. I can’t wait to meet this little cutie! It’s been a while since I posted a selfie, so I thought, why not drop a belly photo 😍

19/06/2024

💚💚 HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY HONOR BRAVEHEART 💚💚

I love this boy!! The truth is, we are absolutely crazy about him. He brings us endless joy and laughter. My special boy, my freebirth baby, born at home during the madness of 2020, right into the loving, strong hands of his daddy.

He’s the best big brother and the best little brother. He’s kind, generous, and funny. With one of the best appetites I’ve ever seen in a child, he’s also incredibly creative. He’s literally the best and cutest, and I’m so thankful he’s ours. We love you, son. Today, we are having so much fun celebrating him. To my favorite 4-year-old, I bless you today and forever! 💚

30/05/2024

Birthday twins for LIFE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!

Justice Joy, my forever gift. I’m so thankful!

My beautiful big girl is 10
💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝

10/05/2024

Thankful for this cute little baby growing in my womb. There's something incredibly special about feeling those tiny kicks inside me, a tender reminder of the new life growing within ❤️

In the darkness of night, pain may linger, but with the dawn, joy finds its way ✨

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Day 10! We’ve completed Leviticus today and began the book of numbers. Today’s reading reminded me of God’s heart for His people. The blessings He promised for obedience in Leviticus 26 and the beautiful priestly blessing in Numbers 6. “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.” I’m clinging to that peace today. Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday, and the ache of missing her is so real. But in the same way Aaron and his sons were called to faithfully bless the people, I’m reminded that I, too, am called to faithfully bless and lead my children even when I don’t feel my best. These verses remind me that God’s blessings aren’t dependent on my emotions. His face shines on me even in my tears, and His peace is available to carry me through the hard moments. If you’re feeling the weight of life today, let me encourage you: show up. Open the Word. God’s promises are true, and His blessings will sustain you.

Day 9! Today we read Leviticus 14-26. These chapters are heavy with the reality of sin and the holiness of God. The constant sacrifices, the shedding of blood! It was all a shadow pointing to the ultimate sacrifice: JESUS!! I’m so thankful for the blood of Jesus. His sacrifice didn’t just cover sin temporarily, it removed it forever. Because of Him, we don’t have to strive to earn God’s favor. We’re forgiven, redeemed, and free. Parents, this is why I’m so passionate about teaching my kids the Word. They need to understand the cost of sin and the power of the cross. We have the privilege to lead them to the truth, to open the Bible and let God’s Word shape their hearts. And let me tell you, it’s not about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about showing up, being faithful, and trusting God to do the rest. Don’t underestimate the seeds you’re planting when you teach your children about Jesus. Let’s be parents who boldly lead our kids to the cross, because the blood of Jesus changes everything. “Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins.” (Hebrews 9:22)

Leviticus can be a tough read for many. It’s detailed, heavy, and full of rules. I was amazed at how my kids sat through it, listened, engaged, and asked so many questions 🥹🙌🏼 We talked about the sacrifices, the constant need for purity, and the weight the Israelites carried trying to live according to the law. They saw the beauty in the gospel: Jesus is our substitutionary Lamb. He did what we could never do, fulfilling the law once and for all. Thank God for Jesus! Parents, don’t avoid the ‘hard’ books. Your kids can grasp more than you realize, and these conversations sow powerful seeds. Stay faithful and trust God’s Word to work in their hearts ❤️📖

This truth challenges everything the world tries to teach us. We were made to glorify God, to love and serve others, and to lay down our lives daily in obedience to Him. True joy, fulfillment, and purpose come not from self-centered living, but from self-denial and surrender. Who sits on the throne of your life—God, or you?

Is God good or is he not?

Day 7 and we finished the book of Exodus! 🎉 Today we read chapters 29-40. My children got to see just how much the Israelites had to do to be in right standing with God. We had a great conversation about how thankful we are for Jesus!!! Because of Him, it’s not about following a long list of instructions or offering sacrifices. He made it so simple: believe in HIS sacrifice and follow Him. What a gift! Parents, I want to encourage you: You don’t need to have all the answers or make it perfect. Just open the Word, read it with your kids, and let it speak. These moments matter.

Just wrapped up our first LIVE stream of the year for the “Read the Entire Bible in 90 days” Bible challenge. New wave of testimonies incoming! #battleready

Day 5 and today we went through Exodus 1-15. Watching God’s power unfold through the plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, and His faithfulness to DELIVER His people has been powerful. God’s timing is always perfect, even when it feels delayed. The Israelites’ journey reminds us that waiting on the Lord is never wasted—it’s where we learn to trust Him fully. Teaching my children these truths as we walk through the Word together has been such a blessing. God’s Word is alive and powerful 🔥

Please give me a few minutes of your time—I truly believe it will bless and encourage your heart ❤️‍🩹❤️

Day 4 of reading through the entire Bible with my 6 kids, and I’m reminded that real life doesn’t pause for quiet moments. It’s in the noise, the laughter, the interruptions, EVEN the disobedience, that seeds are planted. THIS is where discipleship happens—not in perfect conditionS. I feel like that’s a word for somebody. Don’t wait for “perfect” it will never happen. Don’t let the interruptions or the noise make you think it’s not working. God is at work in your faithfulness. You’re building something eternal, you’re doing holy work.

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28/12/2024

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