Burdizzo Books

18/08/2024

Some of you might remember me advertising this a few years ago, a few of you may have even subbed but unfortunately all that got lost somehow and I thought I would never try again but like a lazy-phoenix that needs some firelighters to get started BURDIZZO BOOKS charity anthologies are not only back but they're...
..going Back To School!
For some it was the best days of their lives, for others it was a living hell.

This is an open call for short stories and poetry set in, inspired by, or even written while you were at SCHOOL.
We like horror, sci-fi, weird, dark, dangerous and dirty fiction, but nothing EXTREME

Word count: anything up to 9k

If your story is selected for publishing, we will also ask for a school photo to go with your story.

All proceed will go to Cancer Research UK

Please send your submissions to [email protected]

DEADLINE - when the Headmaster says so!

28/02/2023

Out today

The homeless are being taken from the streets of the city; when she wakes in the morning to find herself painted red it sends Gabriel Travente on a journey to discover herself…

There are ceremonies and rites which occur at various times in the world’s history, and they have the power to change the course of everything we accept to be true. Times when the esoteric meets the rational in a struggle for supremacy and ultimate dominion of the world. These ceremonies are bloody affairs, filled with debauchery.

The Architecture is only one.

We are the design … we are the flesh …we are sanctified.https://www.amazon.co.uk/Architecture-Paul-Flewitt-ebook/dp/B0BW9G79X8/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3SR6RY0O55YXQ&keywords=paul+flewitt+architecture&qid=1677575868&sprefix=Architecture+pau%2Caps%2C113&sr=8-1

Architecture eBook : Flewitt, Paul: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

24/02/2023

Oh, this came out today.

Andy and Mason are on a lads' holiday, sun, sea, and knowing Mason, s*x. Andy lives in his brother's shadow, he thinks one of them is adopted as Mason is God's gift to women whereas he looks like a portrait Picasso painted whilst drunk.
Everyone on the island is psyched, Indigo, the mythical night club that shows up for one night every decade, is back.
Mason, Andy too, can't resist the allure of such a sensational event, especially when they meet Aiymeee and Freya.
Who is Blue Roy, otherwise known as The Map?
What is Colossus?
Who is Rameses?
And what, in the name of all that's sunny, is the Discohead?

Indigo, here we go.

Andy and Mason are on a lads' holiday, sun, sea, and knowing Mason, s*x. Andy lives in his brother's shadow, he thinks one of them is adopted as Mason is God's gift to women whereas he looks like a portrait Picasso painted whilst drunk. Everyone on the island is psyched, Indigo, the mythical nigh...

19/02/2023

18/02/2023

In the closing months of the Second World War Lieberman will investigate anything if there is a possibility of it aiding his country's successful victory over Europe, even the supernatural. Deep within the heart of the Black Forest there lives a family with a dark secret, after generations of liv...

10/02/2023

Our next novel {28th February} is by Paul Flewitt

Architecture

The homeless are being taken from the streets of the city; when she wakes in the morning to find herself painted red it sends Gabriel Travente on a journey to discover herself…

There are ceremonies and rites which occur at various times in the world’s history, and they have the power to change the course of everything we accept to be true. Times when the esoteric meets the rational in a struggle for supremacy and ultimate dominion of the world. These ceremonies are bloody affairs, filled with debauchery.

The Architecture is only one.

“We are the design … we are the flesh …we are sanctified.”

Cover Reveal coming soon

28/01/2023

"Jesus, tap-dancing, Christ, this book was amazing. 5*" says Sophie Griffiths
Why don't you take a look and see if agree?

Francis Foster, Last of the Liver-Eaters, 16th century warlock and all-around nasty piece of work has developed an addiction to killing people. He's been doing it for five hundred years or more, body-swapping left, right and centre when needs must and starting a new serial killer's reign. But he ...

16/01/2023

Out now

Francis Foster, Last of the Liver-Eaters, 16th century warlock and all-around nasty piece of work has developed an addiction to killing people. He's been doing it for five hundred years or more, body-swapping left, right and centre when needs must and starting a new serial killer's reign. But he ...

03/01/2023

What's that? You want an advanced copy of Frankie Says DIE signed by me & Frankie? Nearly a month ahead of its release on Amazon? Hit the link, baby
https://burdizzobooks.etsy.com

26/12/2022

For those of you who are interested this is now up for preorder on Kindle.

Synopsis:
Francis Foster, Last of the Liver-Eaters, 16th century warlock and
all-around nasty piece of work has developed an addiction to killing people.
He's been doing it for five hundred years or more,
body-swapping left, right and centre when needs must
and starting a new serial killer's reign. But he bites off much more than he can chew when his
soul-transference ritual goes wrong and he ends up in the body of a dachshund.
Now that he's a dog he can't say or do the things he needs to do
to perform the magic to hijack someone else's body and that's where Tommy
comes into play.

Tommy is The Boy Who Sees, well that was his title before he ran away
from Ray Greenfield's psychotic circus.
Tommy is psychic, can understand Frankie's dilemma but refuses
to help the possessed pooch continue his evil-doings,
especially when the next body in question
is one Tommy's been admiring for several years.

Georgina and her best mate Suki aren't like normal women their age,
they're geeks, dirty-minded, emotionless freaks who want nothing better than
to curl up with the latest Junji Ito whilst a gruesome serial killer documentary
plays in the background. However their usual routine gets distorted when Georgina's dog
starts acting weird after she is attacked at the kennels she works in and a unusual
circus comes to town. Their friend goes missing and they decide to
play Scooby Doo [ they're Velma and Shaggy as neither wants to be Daphne]
and get to the bottom of the strange goings-on.

Frankie is well and truly f*cked.
He's trapped, becoming more doggy by the day and something from his past
is travelling with this demented circus that not only has the power to devour him
but quite possibly the entire universe.

USA:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BR4BPNC1?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420

UK:
https://www.amazon.com.uk/dp/B0BR4BPNC1?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420

Francis Foster, Last of the Liver-Eaters, 16th century warlock and all-around nasty piece of work has developed an addiction to killing people. He's been doing it for five hundred years or more, body-swapping left, right and centre when needs must and starting a new serial killer's reign. But he ...

07/11/2022

Matty-Bob and Em would like to announce that Burdizzo Goes Back To School will be their last ever charity anthology. After this, Em will be stepping back from her editing duties at Burdizzo to (hopefully) concentrate on her own writing, plus all the other lifey-life stuff that comes with being an adult. Well, adult-ish.
As such, we would like to re-open the submissions for 5 more school stories. Deadline is now 31st December, with a view to publish in Spring 2023. New beginnings and all that.
Never fear, Burdizzo Books will still very much exist, with solo collections, novels and poetry still on the menu. And Em will still be around, like a drunk auntie at Christmas, popping in to tell you how much you have grown since the last time she saw you.
It's not the end, just the end of an era...

Please send your submissions to [email protected]

All proceeds will go to Cancer Research

31/10/2022

Gotta be worth a try...
Buy my latest book
http://hyperurl.co/vh3qvy

19/10/2022

A hilltop cemetery where the dead just won’t stay sleeping. An ill-fated voyage to an uncharted region off the coast of Iceland. An English village reminded of its heritage through the discovery of ancient bones.These tales and more can be found within the first short story collection from author Lex H Jones. Light the fire, make yourself a comforting drink, make sure the doors and windows are lined with salt, and settle in to enjoy this gathering of haunts and horrors.
http://hyperurl.co/t9yetl

A hilltop cemetery where the dead just won’t stay sleeping. An ill-fated voyage to an uncharted region off the coast of Iceland. An English village reminded of its heritage through the discovery of ancient bones.These tales and more can be found within the first short story collection from...

18/10/2022

Hi I'm God. And I have a confession to make.
I live with my two best friends and the girl of my dreams, Persephone.
When the opportunity knocks we are usually down the pub having a few drinks, or we’ll hang out in Christchurch Park until it gets dark then go home to do college stuff. Even though I struggle a bit financially life is good, carefree. Well they were.
Things have started going downhill recently, from the moment I started killing people.
http://hyperurl.co/purhxs

Hi I'm God. And I have a confession to make. I live with my two best friends and the girl of my dreams, Persephone. When the opportunity knocks we are usually down the pub having a few drinks, or we’ll hang out in Christchurch Park until it gets dark then go home to do college stuff. Even ...

16/10/2022

At the edge of the coastal city of Seadon, behind a dilapidated farmhouse surrounded by rotten trees, something titters and calls.
The Gardden.
Its playful voice promises games, magic, wonders, lies – and roaring torrents of blood.
The Gardden speaks not only to its eccentric keeper, but also to the deviants of Seadon’s criminal underworld: a restless goth, a cheating waster, a sullen concubine, a perverted drug baron, and a murderous sociopath.
Haunted by shadowed things with coal-black eyes, they’ll soon be lured to a place where nightmares become flesh, secrets rise from the dark, and a voice coaxes them to play and stay, yes yes yes, forever.
http://hyperurl.co/1atlim

At the edge of the coastal city of Seadon, behind a dilapidated farmhouse surrounded by rotten trees, something titters and calls. The Gardden. Its playful voice promises games, magic, wonders, lies – and roaring torrents of blood. The Gardden speaks not only to its eccentric keeper, but a...

13/10/2022

The dead never stayed buried in New Orleans.
After Us, The Flood is a nightmare tale set among the drowned buildings of Hurricane Katrina. Can Low Jenkins and his small band of jazz fiends and party animals survive the flood? Something is stirring in the water...

With bonus story Mama's Here.
Which is stronger? A mother's love, or the hatred that burns at 3am?
http://hyperurl.co/5gm5ji

The dead never stayed buried in New Orleans. After Us, The Flood is a nightmare tale set among the drowned buildings of Hurricane Katrina. Can Low Jenkins and his small band of jazz fiends and party animals survive the flood? Something is stirring in the water... With bonus story Mama's Here. Whi...

13/10/2022

From the river to the sea, pain is universal. The dead know your secrets, and the living take their fears to the grave...A Hollywood magician cuts a woman in half.An old man yearns for the wife he lost.An artist paints with his shame.A plane crash like no other.The author of Food Of The Gods brings you ten more tales of transformation, lost loves, regret and blood. So much blood.This book contains darkness and horror, in all its many forms.You have been warned.
http://hyperurl.co/3kwm0x

From the river to the sea, pain is universal. The dead know your secrets, and the living take their fears to the grave...A Hollywood magician cuts a woman in half.An old man yearns for the wife he lost.An artist paints with his shame.A plane crash like no other.The author of Food Of The Gods brin...

12/10/2022

Little Stevie just wanted a friend to help make snowmen, snow angels and have fun and games with. Ever unpopular and often lonely a lot of experiences most children his age have passed him by. A heavy winter brings the town to a standstill and he seeks the opportunity to play in the snow, but something else is already playing in the snow and the game it is playing is deadly enough to destroy Mankind.

http://hyperurl.co/61t6ef

11/10/2022

Five people bound to chairs.
They all have at least one thing in common. Each helped to get one of Britain's top family entertainers sent down as a pa******le and s*x offender.
Revenge is the likely reason they have been abducted, but who would seek it aside from the one they accused?
Except he's supposed to be dead.
Have they been kidnapped by a mad fan or has the pint-sized comedian come back from beyond the grave to offer a punchline that's way below the belt?
http://hyperurl.co/30j59p

10/10/2022

Jacob's hearing voices.
Voices from the future.
Voices claiming that he has the power to save the majority of Europe from a deadly virus.
Are they part of his imagination, or something far more fantastic?

Jacob's hearing voices. Voices from the future. Voices claiming that he has the power to save the majority of Europe from a deadly virus. Are they part of his imagination, or something far more fantastic?

09/10/2022

When Courtney and her friends accidentally vandalise one of their town's forgotten historical landmarks, they unleash something sinister, poisonous and hell-bent on revenge. Old Ma Lacey, the last woman to be burnt as a witch in this state, has awoken and she's brought her babies.

When Courtney and her friends accidentally vandalise one of their town's forgotten historical landmarks, they unleash something sinister, poisonous and hell-bent on revenge. Old Ma Lacey, the last woman to be burnt as a witch in this state, has awoken and she's brought her babies.

04/10/2022

12days is back once again with twelve more versions of each line from the famous Christmas song. See what wonders they inspired this year.
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO CYSTIC FIBROSIS TRUST
hyperurl.co/c5cmb2

04/10/2022

From all over the world, from every race and nationality there are many different religions and beliefs. Hymns tell tales of myriad gods. Angry gods hurling fire and brimstone at the disbelievers, promising eternal damnation in hellish post-life realms. Others sing praises of ancient feet treading on freshly tilled earth, spreading happiness and love.
Reverend Burdizzo has rounded up a congregation of voices to sing to you these new hymns. Come join him in his choir and sing these new songs of praise. They will put the fear of God into you.

From all over the world, from every race and nationality there are many different religions and beliefs. Hymns tell tales of myriad gods. Angry gods hurling fire and brimstone at the disbelievers, promising eternal damnation in hellish post-life realms. Others sing praises of ancient feet treadin...

01/10/2022

THE ONE THAT MADE PEOPLE PUKE

Walsall, once named the fattest town in UK, has a major sewerage problem. Like the arteries of many of its inhabitants,the main sewer is fast becoming blocked. A fatberg of record proportions has formed and finally clogged up the sewerage system.
But something foul and gluttonous awaits them buried deep in the thick, greasy rank smelling lard.

http://hyperurl.co/rk4t8f

30/09/2022

All villages have their secrets Brantham is no different.
Twenty years ago after foolish risk taking turned into tragedy Shane left the rural community under a cloud of suspicion and rumour. Events from that night remained unexplained, memories erased, questions unanswered.
Now a notorious politician, he returns to his birthplace when the offer from a property developer is too good to decline. With big plans to haul Brantham into the 21st century, the developers have already made a devastating impact on the once quaint village.
But then the headaches begin, followed by the nightmarish visions.
Soon Shane wishes he had never returned as Brantham reveals its ugly secret.
http://hyperurl.co/zb4du8

28/09/2022

All Dave and Ian want to do is get pi**ed, listen to metal, and fantasise about girls way out of their league in the best rock pub in Walsall — The Trough. But when Dave accidentally incites the wrath of a Hell's Angel-wannabe, they find themselves with bigger fish to fry. They have The Beast on their tails.Dave and Ian find it hard enough to rescue themselves let alone any damsels in distress. But that's okay. This is The Trough, baby, where the women are Valkyries, Viking shield-maidens, and punch harder, drink heavier and talk dirtier than any of the men. In an action-packed romp that's more Stan and Ollie than Bill and Ted (oh, and which is bombarded with bad language, alcohol abuse, ma********on, blackmail, p**n, and a mobile library), this is Tesco a-go-go!
http://hyperurl.co/2u9wk8

26/09/2022

Way back in the distant mists of February 2020, we began to hear reports of a deadly virus that originated in China. But this new virus soon ripped its path through the world, like an invading hoarde, killing without prejudice until it finally found its way to our door. This book is inspired by our experiences of the UK lockdown, and how we might navigate the new, post-covid world. Is this the beginning of the end, or just the end of the beginning?

Join us for a trip down Corona-Nation Street, with stories and poetry that are horrifying, haunting, hilarious, h***y, heartfelt and hopeful.

All proceeds from the sale of this book will go to the NHS.
http://hyperurl.co/vyb6rr

25/09/2022

There really is no greater time to read this Autumn-powered creepy anthology

An anthology inspired by all things Autumn All proceeds to go to NAPAC

24/09/2022

What do you get if you cross a knobless wizard with a team of radioactive religious fanatics, a foul demon, a coven of senile, pervy devil worshippers, and the world’s crappiest con men?

This book.

Cursed from a young age, Seamus has since spent his life practising - and cocking up - the mysterious occult arts. When one day he happens upon a book offering him the chance to wreak vengeance upon the demonic entity who stole his dangly bits and reversed his digestive system, he didn’t think twice.

Unfortunately, Seamus’s decision to summon the legendary Nameless One will endanger not only his life, but also his next door neighbour’s.

Oh - and the fate of the universe, too.

And so begins a caper that will squish your brains into mush, make blood erupt from your nether regions, and sq**rt every other bodily fluid out through your ears, nose and tear ducts.

Surely you don’t want to miss that, right?

AND SURELY YOU WANT TO OWN A BOOK THAT HAS AN EXTREME CLOSE UP OF ONE OF THE AUTHORS' SCROTUMS ON IT, DON'T YOU?

What do you get if you cross a knobless wizard with a team of radioactive religious fanatics, a foul demon, a coven of senile, pervy devil worshippers, and the world’s crappiest con men? This book. Cursed from a young age, Seamus has since spent his life practising - and cocking up - the m...

23/09/2022

FREE YOURSELF
What would you do if you found out your compulsions were not your fault?
That something else had been controlling you all along?
What would you do if you discovered there was a dark part of you, a part of humanity, that was put there by an entity older than the stars?

Vince is binge-eating himself into an early grave. He cannot resist the voice inside that encourages him to gorge, an instinctive reaction to every strong emotion.
Finding it increasingly more difficult to live with, he vows to do anything to rid himself of it.
Even if it means stooping to new lows and levels of degradation of which he never considered himself capable.
http://hyperurl.co/fdzzai