01/10/2024
To all the Moms of ADHD Kids
A long time ago, I chose to leave an amazing job so I could spend more time with my kids, and not be as stressed out as my husband was with his amazing job. I wanted to be an amazing mom. And I was.
Until my son was diagnosed with ADHD. Then I wasn’t so amazing anymore. I went from a rising Hollywood producer to Pharmacy W***e, begging drugstore clerks and insurance companies and psychiatrists for a few extra pills so we wouldn’t run out by the end of the month. Then my husband was diagnosed. Life got even more complicated as I found myself handing out medicine every day, checking about the afternoon doses, and monitoring sleep patterns.
“Whatever you do, don’t lose Harry’s medicine,” I said to Frank. He volunteered to chaperone on the fifth grade trip to Sequoia National Park, which was made possible when he lost his job on account of not paying attention when there were some problems at work. But he loved being available for Harry and me, and he didn’t lose Harry’s medicine-- but he did lose his own medicine.
“I had it right there in my bag. I don’t know what could’ve happened to it.”
No one was hurt, so no harm done, I thought. I would practice that philosophy for years to come. Soon, my daughter was diagnosed as well, and I was the last neurotypical person in the family.
“Mom, you don’t understand. Our brains are different from yours. You can’t help us with our homework.”
Shunned. So Frank became the go-to homeschooling parent for a while. We muddled through, though, and now, the kids are grown. ADHD did not stop them from being happy, nice people with jobs. It’s what we always wanted.
If you’re still on the ADHD journey with your children, have faith. This road is not for sissies. Accept the limitation, both in your children and in yourself. Celebrate the small victories. And keep going.
