Shay Rowbottom

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Shay Rowbottom

Shay Rowbottom I design, direct, and edit videos to promote interesting brands & businesses!

24/02/2025

“𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤...”

Advice on this from a self-proclaimed, highly narcissistic woman ↓

First off all -

NOTHING makes a better blogger than someone who is self centered. actually this quality will make it so that you not only are more likely to stay consistent with your posts, as you feed off the energy / attention from others...

but there’s also a quality a lot of narcissistic people have that often gets flipped on its head.

Being hyper attuned to:

• what people think
• how they perceive you

It’s actually a SUPERPOWER!

Not a weakness.

It can really come in handy in other areas, if you let it.

Wanting to be seen, even getting energy off of the crowd is your sign that you were meant to grow a brand. Especially when you’re able to dig deep, get vulnerable, and share what’s truly on your heart. Now take that raw & relatable content, and merge it with the many filtration systems your brilliant mind so creatively constructed all your life...

BOOM 💥

Pro blogger status.

(& in case you didn’t notice, this is exactly what I’ve been doing for 6 years).

Self obsession + vulnerability + filtration system = fire content 🔥

To sum up,

If you’re worried about being seen as narcissistic, there’s a good chance you actually ARE and haven’t learned to integrate / love that side of yourself yet.

IMO the people that will shame and bully you for “just wanting attention” are always, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 secretly wishing they could put themselves out there like that too.

I used to let it bother me, now I just agree with them.

Next. ✌️

15/02/2025

Happy Valentines Day to all of the single, independent, hardworking women out there who can’t find a man.

Are we lonely?

Yes.

Do we settle?

No.

Do we love cats&dogs?

Yes,

yes we do :) 🐾

AND-

all of this is okay!

I know days like today may be another slightly depressing reminder that, yet another year has gone by and here you are...

alone.

Still working your butt off at either your high-pressure job or busy putting out fires in your own business, which I know you worked so hard to build.

I see you Mami.
You’re not alone.

I know you get questioned by friends & family about why you’re still unmarried, childless, and alone. I know you are sick of defending yourself when they doubt your genuine desire to focus more on yourself, your career, or your business than settle down and start a family. Which - let’s face it:

it will take one HELL OF A GUY to pull you away from what you’re doing to make you even consider!

You’re not going to settle just for the sake of Grandma’s satisfaction to have a newborn again in her arms, or a flashy wedding photo of you looking like a princess she can share around whatever country or book club she’s currently growing old in.

But you’ve felt the temptation, and you’ve doubted yourself. Yet, you see girlfriends that gave up on their dreams & did settle for that man... and you bite your tongue as you witness their relationship go down the tubes and motherhood become the stark awakening they were not at all picturing.

But hey...

at least Grandma got those photos.

To all of the hardworking women out there doing it on their own this Valentine’s Day - who chose themselves day after day, week after week, year after year...

I know it gets lonely.

But the wait is so worth it.

Don’t settle for just any man... 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁.

This is not a bitter, anti-masculine, men-hating feminist rant.

Quite the contrary.

This is simply a reminder to those out there, both men & women, that there’s an elite class of Alpha females in today’s society who, while shocking to many...

may still find themselves single.

& that’s okay.

Hopefully this post helps you understand why.

13/02/2025

I spent last summer detoxing from men.

Alone on an island.
Long walks.
Fasting.

My energy restored & I felt my fields totally cleared.

I find myself in the same positions I was 9 months ago.
Clearing what was started again since the past 8.
I hadn’t felt like this in almost 9... years.

You brought me a gift.
The gift of time travel.

To go back to what was deeply forgotten. Heart open on the sand, notebook&pen in my hand; desperate to remember. For when the wound was fresh, I was too damaged to process.

Then you appeared.

Suddenly I remember the days so familiar.

So creative yet so logical.
So rigid yet so free spirited.
So driven... so easy to follow.

God I missed this.

What a beautiful mind.

I forgot what love felt like.
I remember why I 𝘀𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨.

At times I’d feel my body clench in anticipation for yours.
Muscle memory. Just deep wounds that clearly had stuck.

To arrive at the point of tension and be met with nothing but love, compromise, and reassurance was the most healing thing I never knew that I needed. The many magical moments I looked into your piercing blue eyes while an avalanche of relief poured over my body as I realized... that. you. actually. aren’t gonna hurt me.

Safety.

Despite the maturity & love I experienced underneath your tall gaze, a feeling I longed for in the long ago past...

differing cores cast an impossible shadow behind us.

We don’t worship the same God.
We don’t want the same things.
We don’t work out... after all.

& just like that, I’m back in solitude.

Oceans away from the oceans of blue I miss in your eyes, while mine create a sea of their own. Mourning the painful truth, that...

it isn’t you,

𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

I wanted the story to be so.
& that kills me... all over again.

Maybe it’s true what they say, that it’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all.

You,
𝘩𝘪𝘮.

La misma energía en otra forma.

What a long & deep decade it’s been.
He gutted me from the inside out. But you,

you put me back together.

9 years.

Healing.
Gratitude.
Processing.

Oh the beautiful poetic nature of it all.

Both of them were 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦...

yet,

neither of them could be mine.

09/02/2025

I thought about calling you today.

My stomach sinks as I think about it.

A reality I have to sit in. Hopeful many times that my torch led the way for others to follow.

Waiting year after year creates a new kind of hallow.

I’ve learned to let go of any hope this could ever be healed. To accept the truth that it’s just me, on my own battlefield. I’ve searched and I found no curriculum for this kind of torture. Little outside empathy for such a disorder.

No one understands you but me, but ironically-

we can’t talk about it.

𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀.

I know the reason you can’t and I’m sorry. I feel the weight you carry. Your drinking tightening its grip on your soul. Your weakening.

All the while your consciousness sinks and it’s probable you’ll soon be gone completely.

I really should call.

Alzheimers, dementia.

It’s only natural they all come to claim it.
When your entire livelihood depended on...

you
having
to 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵.

It’s cognitively exhausted. It wears down and self destruction becomes the only way to keep this secret tucked safely in the dark corners of the psyche.

You never thought that one day...

I’d grow up & regain access to mine.

A red pill I can never take back. An infinite oscillation between gratitude for such valuable context, and regret for the mountains of agony that haunt me.

𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲.

I really thought about calling.

But the energy of fear in my body that followed has swallowed me whole.

There goes my weekend.
One thought, and I’m still terrified.

Terrified just like that 6 year old girl, threatened yet dependent. Create an environment of fear.

It worked.

But I’m not 6 anymore.
The better odds are that, today...

𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲.

Still, my body is stuck and I can’t find the strength. I suppose I’ll embrace the pain brought up through this brave consideration.

Maybe that’s all I’m meant to feel...

For now.

I thought about calling.

But I’m trapped in the very programming you once so perfectly sculpted, while you... grow old & lonely.

The karma you live with.

It’s not the pain of the abuse.
It’s the pain that, we’re alive...

and you made it so I can’t even call.

17/01/2025

Chamonix. ⛰️

It’s true what they say…

Mountains are the best teachers.

Grateful for my time here and for all the growth, lessons, and blessings.

It’s quite an experience to be very happy out here exploring, learning new things about myself, the world…

and also at the same time quite homesick.

Over one month gone now and it’s getting to me. Cried FaceTiming my cat last night… will be grateful to finally make it home but still excited for what’s left of my trip here.

A few more weeks to go!

Can you guess where I’m off to next? 😏

☀️

13/01/2025

I was eating out at an authentic Romanian restaurant...

when THIS happened 🤣

so much fun, and I miss the cheesy polenta already!

Thank you Coliba Haiducilor and my Romanian Queen, Andreea Bălan, for the amazing and spontaneous experience. These are the priceless bits I cherish when it comes to traveling.

Grateful for my life, my freedom,
and every magical moment. ✨

More yet to come... 😊

☀️

03/01/2025

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗳𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝗵𝗲𝗿.

My guy told me to ditch Giants Causeway and so I learned that instead,

𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 is the far better "wonder of the world...." !!

I suppose,

locals know best. 😉

☀️ 🍀

17/12/2024

Ireland.

One of my favorite countries I've been to so far -

if not my favorite.

The people remind me of my family, the food is delicious (and makes you realize how much the US food is NOT real food!), the streets are cute and walkable, the nature and green scenery are to die for...

only thing I could do without is the cold.

For sure - I don't miss it :)

Not sure when I'll be back in Florida, but I bought a one-way ticket and am content on exploring around here for the Holidays. Perhaps hit up Spain, Italy, Portugal...

I have never in my life been so aware of my privilege and grateful for my freedoms.

Thank you God! 🙏

where should I go next?

☀️

26/11/2024

We’re missing the mark on the sacredness of s*x through holy matrimony.

That’s why everyone is supplementing with multiple partners and societal s*xual compulsions & distortions have gotten out of control.

Ironically, this is also the result of religion.

“No s*x til marriage” is a good goal to aim for - but putting that on a population of what are basically h***y mammals is unrealistic and leads to feelings of shame in those who end up falling to temptations and indulge in premartial s*x, or are homos*xual.

Shame causes hiding.
Hiding causes repression.
Repression causes a build up.

Eventually that build up has to go somewhere, and this is how kids get molested.

Sorry not sorry, someone had to say it.

I’ve had plenty of time to think about this. Unfortunately the mass shame we put on pedophiles isn’t helping anything either - these people have no where to go. No AA for “this urge” - so instead, they keep doing it.

I don’t have all the answers, I am just asking the questions.

The s*xual rulebook that came from religion intended to guide us toward the purest experience possible,

ironically created immense s*xual distortion and pe******ia.

*xualtrauma

01/11/2024

Let’s get physical 💪🏻

Happy Halloween 👻😜

19/10/2024

The best years only ahead of me.

Today I am 32 years old.

Mourning my 20’s has been an ongoing process. “Becoming the woman” has been a challenging grind. For those of us raised by children, it’s difficult to break the cycle and I found myself at many points in my process these past 2 years realizing how childish I really still am.

That in many ways, I was becoming the “adult” I so grossly detested all my upbringing.

It’s easy to say “I’m not like them - I’m different.” and sure, you are.

But have you really, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 put down the candy bar?

Have you “Goggin’s” it, yet?

The greatest lesson I’ve learned moving into my 30’s is that success will not be measured by how hard you work. How much you read. How many of the right circles you get in.

It will be measured by your ability to 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗲.

The more you can endure pain, the more success you will have.

Living in faith means living through that pain, knowing full well your future self is going to thank you for it.

That it is in fact 𝘯𝘰𝘵 permanent.

You will get through it. And the more you face pain head on, the more you build that muscle of positive reinforcement to know this is true, and ride the future waves with more ease each time they come in.

I’m not perfect.

I’ve fallen off, many times.

But I’m getting there.

Living for God means truly believing, to my core, that his path for me is better than mine. More fruitful and more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

That’s faith.

My need for control is fleeting.

Call it anxiety, C-PTSD, a dis-regulated nervous system... or from the Christian perspective,

call it living in sin and for the flesh.

It doesn’t matter your perspective, science or religion, it all comes back to the same thing:

𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿.

This is what I remind myself to let go of more and more each day. This is what has been holding me back all along. This is what the bible means when (365 times) you can find the words, “have no fear.” This is the prison we’ve been locked in for so long, BUT-

this is what the human race is transcending now. & damn...

what an epic time to be alive.

Happy Birthday, to me. 🎈

16/10/2024

I’m gonna miss it.

𝙈𝙞𝙖𝙢𝙞.

it’s hard to accept that my time in this city is actually done. Only two weeks left before I head back to Orlando, then again follow my call to hit the road.

Not sure exactly what’s “home” anymore - but I know it ain’t here.

& that’s hard.

I grew so attached to this city.

I moved here almost 6 years ago now, at age 26.

I catapulted my brand on LinkedIn after relocating here. Regained repressed childhood trauma. Left a toxic relationship, and dove all into alternative healing. Which, no doubt-

this town has a lot of good resources for.

I settled in so deeply and I have identified with this place now, for years. I know all the roads, my favorite restaurants, my gyms, and let’s not forget - the many beautiful beaches that are hard to top in comparison to anywhere else in the US.

Suddenly that feeling of belonging, one I was so sure of just 6 months ago, when I attempted to buy my second home and plant my feet for good...

has all been transmuted into that of a Nomadic woman.

Miami made me better.

More attractive.

Smarter.

This city is like a portal of heavy energy that will implode all your life’s misalignments. And if you’re not prepared to face rapid expansion -

people often flee just as fast as they come in.

But I think that I conquered Miami.

I got what I needed. Yet in some ways, the culture here also took me away from my truest roots. The true essence of Shannon that I realized got lost so long ago.

I don’t need a big house, a fancy car, or a mani-pedi every Friday.

I need freedom.

Nature.

The open road.

The irony of thinking I need a house, only to realize God’s path for me is a minimalistic life, with no “home” at all.

Wherever there is God, I am home.

Good news -

𝗛𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲.

I look out at the beautiful Marina - the 5th and final place I’d ever rent in Miami... and wow.

So much gratitude for what this city has taught me.

Who knows where life will take me. Perhaps one day, I’ll be back, and invest in that property after all... but for now, it’s time to invest in me. The bare me - raw and wild... the child forgotten.

Nothing real can be threatened.

This is who I was, all along.

11/10/2024

I flew to Wisconsin to surprise my sister for her birthday

She had no idea! 🤣

It all started when I went to the gym but they were closed due to the Hurricane (come on Miami, it wasn't even hitting us...)

but anyway,

thank goodness for that because on my way home I just realized, why not find a flight and jet up to MKE for a few days? I miss the seeing the beautiful fall leaves change in October this time of year and not to mention-

I miss my sister.

my fellow Libra babe I hadn't seen in over a year. I knew it'd be hilarious to just show up at her house.

I love this girl to the moon & back. She is the most compassionate, sweet, empathetic and kind person I know. I can always call her and she picks up. She's always putting others before herself. She's a nanny, a caretaker, and an all around good human being.

She's also a dog momma to THREE pitbulls... so you don't want to mess with this woman! 😆

Happy 34th Birthday Molly.

I love you. 🎈

05/10/2024

Is Ayahuasca a 𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙣?

I had to ask, as my experience no doubt sent me on a path w/ regrets, and I divulge all of this in my recent article on LinkedIn.

As I outgrow this chapter, I’m attracting Christians reaching out expressing their convictions about how these drugs serve NO purpose! One even proclaiming:

“Ayahuasca is a demon.”

I do my best to challenge my beliefs and so I sat with this one, really thought about it.

I can’t argue Aya is “dark” - scary & nothing to play with.

But a demon?

Interesting.

If a demon, why on earth would she expose to me the 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴 in my family line? Giving me back memory I can now choose different.

Thank goodness for that.

I have no regrets. I know due to the complexity of my trauma, there was no other way. I know HE was protecting me from having to integrate my memories organically, as it’s simply unbearable.

Portal open, portal shut.

Answers.

That saved my life.

Before Aya, I thought about su***de everyday.

Or how about the many atheists who found God after doing psychedelics?

Things are not black & white.

But I get it-

we love to feel we know all the answers. To be RIGHT! So any new information that comes into our field, we don’t give a fair chance.

So, a demon?

No.

An entity?

Yes.

& I don’t recommend playing w/ her unless it’s absolutely needed.

I needed to engage with this entity to fight off much darker ones, ones I hope you never have to experience. Bless you for the fact that you clearly...

just do not understand this level of spiritual warfare.

Fighting fire w/ fire, I clawed my way out with the assist of this “entity”

and now I have 𝗚𝗼𝗱.

Now I don’t need them.

The consistent lack of empathy for the level of demonic possession in my family line and the choices I made to get past it is something I get to live with.

Not everyone gets it, and likely that will always be hard.

But they do serve a purpose, and I challenge you to have an open mind.

Not everyone’s path is the same.

Before you tell someone how you KNOW they could have processed their trauma more “correctly” through your narrow-Christian-belief-system, take a step back.

Because you sure don’t know sh*t about mine.

04/10/2024

I am not the director.

I am the conduit.

This I didn’t recognize, embody, or understand as to why I have not yet ARRIVED.

For what is movement without a clear path and intention? I have been flailing in all directions. Moving alright, but landing nowhere.

I thought I needed control. I thought any other position, was weak.

I thought I could do it alone but I can’t. And I spent years on the battleground solo, leading to the brink of exhaustion.

I’m tired.

I didn’t imagine such a beautiful twist in the story. That - all the while getting nowhere, I actually was going somewhere…

here.

To the very breaking point aforementioned.

Because without all the aimless traveling, the journey to nothing, over and over again… I could never have surrendered to the truth. I could never have ARRIVED at full certainty, full faith, and full knowing that my capabilities as a conduit…

are only half of the pie.

And I’d need another key to the puzzle.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿.

I see the world through new lenses now and I know my place in it.

I honor it.

And thanks to the aimless pain I have sliced through for years, I can accept what I no longer want. I can admit what I’m actually 𝘯𝘰𝘵. And I can walk through this door to my intended role, fully. So I may carry it out with full confidence, strength, and dignity.

So, thank you- 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴,

because now I finally know for sure where I’m going...

and that’s wherever my director may take me.

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http://www.shayrowbottom.com/

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Videos

Chamonix. ⛰️ It’s true what they say… Mountains are the best teachers. Grateful for my time here and for all the growth, lessons, and blessings. It’s quite an experience to be very happy out here exploring, learning new things about myself, the world… and also at the same time quite homesick. Over one month gone now and it’s getting to me. Cried FaceTiming my cat last night… will be grateful to finally make it home but still excited for what’s left of my trip here. A few more weeks to go! Can you guess where I’m off to next? 😏 #Shayshine ☀️ #France #skiing #eurotrip #adventure #fun #travel #influencer

𝗥𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗮. A place I never knew as a child would become one of my favorite adult destinations. It's funny how life works - all this because I started a video editing company out of my dingy Milwaukee apartment when I was 23 years old. I needed help managing the volume of edits I was getting, and that's when I hopped on UpWork looking for an assistant. Lo & Behold - it would be the first woman I ever hired from there that would go on to become my right-hand woman, supporting and growing with me through multiple different businesses now. Andreea Bălan is from Brașov, Romania. Working closely over the years, and talking to her almost every day for nearly a decade... I got to learn a lot about the culture. As the years went by, it become more and more shameful I had not yet met her in person. Well, June of 2023, we finally made that happen. & that's when my love for this part of the world began to develop. The history is rich and mysterious, the architecture is beautiful, the people are direct, and the food is among my favorite cuisine of anywhere I've traveled so far! I always knew after that first summertime visit when I saw the massive green hills and scenic landscapes, this would be a great place to ski in the winter. Well, as you can see... I made it happen! What a way to kick off 2025. 💫 Thank you Romania, and Andreea, for introducing me to this beautiful part of the world I never knew I was missing. It's amazing how our jobs, our businesses, and the connections we gain over the years lead us to unexpected adventures we never could have chosen for ourselves. Grateful to have uncovered this gem... what's next? 😏 #Shayshine #Romania #travel #foodie #fun #skiing #eurotrip

Traditional Romanian dinner... with a twist!

I was eating out at an authentic Romanian restaurant... when THIS happened 🤣 so much fun, and I miss the cheesy polenta already! Thank you Coliba Haiducilor and my Romanian Queen, Andreea Bălan, for the amazing and spontaneous experience. These are the priceless bits I cherish when it comes to traveling. Grateful for my life, my freedom, and every magical moment. ✨ More yet to come... 😊 #Shayshine ☀️ #Romania #eurotrip #travel #fun #adventure

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗳𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝗵𝗲𝗿

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗳𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝗵𝗲𝗿. My guy told me to ditch Giants Causeway and so I learned that instead, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 is the far better "wonder of the world...." !! I suppose, locals know best. 😉 #Shayshine ☀️ #Ireland 🍀

Ireland. One of my favorite countries I've been to so far - if not my favorite. The people remind me of my family, the food is delicious (and makes you realize how much the US food is NOT real food!), the streets are cute and walkable, the nature and green scenery are to die for... only thing I could do without is the cold. For sure - I don't miss it :) Not sure when I'll be back in Florida, but I bought a one-way ticket and am content on exploring around here for the Holidays. Perhaps hit up Spain, Italy, Portugal... I have never in my life been so aware of my privilege and grateful for my freedoms. Thank you God! 🙏 where should I go next? #Shayshine ☀️ #Ireland #travel #Xmas #fun #gratitude

Surprising my sister for her bday!

I flew to Wisconsin to surprise my sister for her birthday She had no idea! 🤣 It all started when I went to the gym but they were closed due to the Hurricane (come on Miami, it wasn't even hitting us...) but anyway, thank goodness for that because on my way home I just realized, why not find a flight and jet up to MKE for a few days? I miss the seeing the beautiful fall leaves change in October this time of year and not to mention- I miss my sister. my fellow Libra babe I hadn't seen in over a year. I knew it'd be hilarious to just show up at her house. I love this girl to the moon & back. She is the most compassionate, sweet, empathetic and kind person I know. I can always call her and she picks up. She's always putting others before herself. She's a nanny, a caretaker, and an all around good human being. She's also a dog momma to THREE pitbulls... so you don't want to mess with this woman! 😆 Happy 34th Birthday Molly. I love you. 🎈 #Libra #sisters #libraseason #milwaukee

My review of 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙧 Hotel in West Virginia... Top 5 stays EVER! Here's why 👇🏻 • Rich history • Colorful rooms • Endless activities • Not one but TWO pools! Not to mention this time of year when some of the leaves are JUST beginning to turn was so magical. It was a nice break from the HOT HOT summer of Miami which I forget... gets very old. Refreshing to experience some "normal" heat for a change. I also played Golf for the first time and wasn't as terrible as I thought (𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘥). What stood out to me more was the psychology of the sport. Like, the longer you're on the green with people the more they start opening up to you. Interesting... A dream for a deep woman like me who has no interest in small talk. Perhaps I should take it up. 😉 Thank you Greenbrier, WV for this enchanting experience. ✨ #Shayshine ☀️ #Travel #fun #hotels #hotellife #influencer #golfing #experience #memories #realestate

And few will ever know the pain I had to endure to get here. I don't want them to. It's not needed. For suddenly everything in my life makes sense. For suddenly I see the power of God, something I always believed in, always had faith in, but never truly experienced the magic until now. To resolve so much past hurt finally. To see why it all had to go down, just the way that it did. I cry so deeply. I could never have known. Could never have seen what it was all for. I have reached a level of maturity in my spiritual evolution to bask in the role appointed for me, by God. It is not of my choosing. This energy is completely brand new. The grips the devil had on me are obvious now. It's apparent the spells I was under. I didn't see it. I will walk with you now, straight into the light. I will not cast off or dishonor the darkness. For the darkness was needed, the initiation was necessary. The pain and the battles I fought, alone, in agony... for years... all divine. This I honor, my journey. This I cherish, my faith. #God #Faith #Jesus

Top 3 Mistakes I made in Business

𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. This is by far the biggest regret I have so far in business. Had I known how much harder it would be later on to do damage control and clean up the mess I had made, I would have made better decisions from the start. Changing my lifestyle and realizing I had to fire employees, habits, items... etc. It was as if I couldn't do it fast enough to keep up with the revenue tanking. Ultimately it was my choice to shut down the business, I didn't have to, but I see why my higher self did it. There'd be no point to continue scaling and growing on the energy it was built upon. Not just because it was vain, immature, and just... a covering up of my true desires and issues that needed to be worked on. But because, I never learned to manage all the money I was making. & so, making even more wasn't gonna help anything. It sucks to look back and see where I could have allocated things differently to be in a better position today, and scaling everything back / getting lean forced me to finally learn financial literacy. Ultimately - there's nothing you can do but learn as you go as an entrepreneur and forgive yourself for the ways in which you were foolish. If you'd like to hear more about mine, watch my new YouTube video --> "Top 3 Mistakes I Made in My Business" link in the comments. ↓ #Finance #entrepreneurship #Taxes

Ormand Boys Day

Yesterday morning I went to grab coffee - met a group of young men, and ended up here. 👇🏻 MY FIRST SCUBA DIVING EXPERIENCE! 🤩 It was so fun. It all started when I saw the boys in line in front of me at the cafe picking on their friend for ordering not one, but 𝘵𝘸𝘰 breakfast sandwiches. (my kinda guy!) "𝘏𝘦𝘺! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶." I told him. "𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴, 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴!" "𝘙𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵!?" he replied, and soon we all struck up a conversation. Before I knew it, they were inviting me out on their boat. Needless to say, I cancelled all my calls! Not only was this the most hilarious adventure I've had so far during all my time in the Keys... but it's a good lesson to not overplan / attempt to control the events of each day. Sometimes the most exciting moment in life is presented unexpectedly, right in front of us, and as the famous Ferris Bueller once said... "𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭!" What a treat. ☺️ Big hugs and thanks to Ryan, Colton, and Peyton - my new friends for granting me this amazing experience. The next time I run into these boys, the Lobster is on me! #KeyWest #Scubadiving #ormondbeach

I been careful my whole life to not get physically addicted to anything. Until 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 substance entered my life ↓😬 𝐊𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐌 🤯 My oh my what a drug, and do I have lots to say about it in this week's YouTube video. Tune in if you'd like to learn more about: ▪️ What is Kratom? ▪️ The Kava Bar Community ▪️ My personal journey with this tea ▪️ How I kicked it, and if I'd ever do it again Controversial medicine, and ultimately the choice is yours. To some it's a lifesaver, to others the detox was likened to that of 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘪𝘯. Which is insane... Go watch my new video, and decide for yourself. Now live on my YouTube: https://rb.gy/3ogif #Kratom #Kava #Addiction

Am I a narcissist?

Am I a narcissist? I have been insanely self-obsessed, and that's embarrassing to admit. People shame people for being narcissistic, but shame is what got them that way in the first place. I couldn't just be myself. I had to develop this hyper attunement to the world around me, filter everything I was gonna do/say through the lens of how people would perceive it. It stuck with me all of these years but lately I've become so conscious of the voice it's agonizing. God is telling me it's time to let this armor go. Then again - I run a blog and that's challenging. Blogging is filtration, no matter how you dice it. Walking in Faith is listening to God and being able to distinguish His voice vs. your own wants and needs. Do I want to come on here and admit some of the self-obsessive behaviors I've had that are frankly just, weird? No. His will, and I have to trust. It helps me to process, and it will help to dissipate this stigma we have around narcissism in our culture. It's become quite a buzzword, but the actual disorder of NPD? Pretty rare. But I am narcissistic. Histrionic, or whatever item on the Cluster-B menu comes out in my ways of being like a soup of the day. The deeper issue we have to look at is why people are SO insanely SELF-CONSCIOUS they live through this lens of imaging themselves through the lens of others. Rather than just being in the moment, and living. It's exhausting, but it's how I developed. I am remembering more and coming to terms with how much the bullying really did destroy me. I find myself apologizing to my little girl over and over that she went through that, for years, with no one to defend her. It's frustrating to say the least to digest this scripted voice & filtration system in my brain because it ROBBED ME of being the true me all of these years. Whose potential I'm now seeing is way greater. I have to rely on God as I embark on this journey, because these neuropathways of controlling my image in the eyes of others a

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