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17/08/2024

*MY GOSPEL TRUTH*

Let me tell you about my gospel truth,
That honesty I show that people mistake me for a savage brute.
I believe you have ones felt that loneliness,
That moment alone that can break you to a bitter madness.

Life is a mystery
Life is a fairytale,
A lifetime used in succeeding achievement is recorded history,
Still every success has their rough edge but nobody knows this misery.

Like secrets are thoughts that we can not share.
Life is seen like this sometimes, those times you think people really do not care.

I have experienced pain with a stormy rain,
I have felt happiness in a funny way,
I have forsaken my soul my Angels once flew away
I hold reckless lessons even my aura can not wear this dismay.

Let me tell you this gospel truth,
There is a point in life your Angels and demons abscond.
Where your spirit willingly judge that nowhere she belongs.
Even the darkness in the night sometimes is forsaken by the stars and the Moon light
Still night is night, even without their comfort the night still stands to play.

In life all is fair,
Because no one really have it all.
The truth is, life can be so sweet
And life can be so bitter.
Life can be so bad
And still gets so better,
Because I know sometimes laughter is to hide a cry
As some pains are hidden in a beautiful smile.

15/08/2024

Today I let my soul hunts for sanity because humanity is not here,
Today I learned a lesson of betrayal and my experience holds a fear.

Today I have carried an heavy burden I thought I could not bear,
And finally got the weight of darkness that hits me because I actually thought a soul might care.

Today I bear a name of shame I was given by my peers,
Today my kindness was judged and seen as the weakness that humanity fails to tear.

Today

Just today all my feelings are explained with some bitter tears,
Just today I have acquired the scar of regret that my world had share.

If only today was not good as my creator had shared
Who knows?!
Today might be added with a bold picture of my heart so I never forget that pain of being that fool my soul must share.

11/08/2024

Good morning Dearest Mom.❤️💝🌞🌻

I mean to let you rest in peace
But I am in those days only you could give me ease,
I could only imagine what heaven is bless with to have you,
But this imagination would only make me fray.

Hello Mummy,

Wherever you are I pray we meet again,
You did left a big hole and since you have been gone I never found home and I feel this pain.

Your friends stopped checking up immediately you were gone,
I guess the sweet talks and promises was just because you were here.
That love only you could give me, that love of a mother,
I always miss it with some drops of broken tears.

Hello mother😔

Even as I write tears is my only companion now,
I do not mean to cry but tears is the only way I could express my heart.

Just so you know Mom,

Every mother wants to steal my star for their own seed,
Even your own blood never checked up to see if your children really feed.
Every parent take advantage of my orphan state,
I act like I do not know because it was not them that bless me this fate.

Before I go Mother,

Just know your space in my heart is for eternity,
Know I am sorry for not reaching out to the part of my maternity.
Before I let tears take the remaining part of this beautiful memory,
Just know I have felt that coldness this world can bring
And know that I hold believe someday I will experience Home again with you.
Farewell and know that I will always miss you.

03/08/2024

My thoughts wears grey
Because all plans have been worked to no avail,
My face wears pale
Because all hope is prisoned and no solution for bail,
My mood is not plain
Because my soul constantly tries to hide my pain
And my Muse is wasted
Because agony is transporting my soul to the grail.

Where is that figure
Where is the destination for this horrible journey,
Where is that little light from the star
The traces that I glimpse that would lead me home,
Where are my demons that brought me here
Why would they leave me behind knowing that this darkness I fear.

My spirit seeks salvation
But I think my soul is gone,
My dealings do not care for it weighs me a confused foundation,
Only my heart beats the conscience when it is done.
Where is the story
That would give comfort when I lost that glory.
Is there anyone there
That could understand that troubles I bear.

20/05/2024

I am that dangerous anger
I am that regretful temper,
I am that disturbing danger
Still I am that joy that hits them mental.

I am that humour
I am that worst rumour
I am that sweetness in two turbo
I am that provocation that dares their inner demon.

I am one being which is not you
I am the happy life that is not true
I am the dream they think as a De ja vu,
I am that mortal another can not be.

I am that wayward who is excluded from the will,
I am that broken heart that still wants to deal,
Sometimes I am the light and
Sometime I am the darkness,
Still I am a living progress in their lives they fail to see.

24/04/2024

I am at that stage in life I am being ignored
That point of feeling rejection because you bring nothing to the table,
That suffocation of being home and yet you do not feel among.
That exact moment life keeps one in a conflicted zone
That even the deepest sense of goodness still bears that trouble.

I live in the conscience of my responsibility.

This moment is a time one feel the coldness in loneliness
That period is a process life test your confidence,
I am at that junction life judge me to test the limit of my sanity.
That instance all my demons are left to play
And my soul bears that evil that dwells to slay.

I live in a place I find solemn with my consequences.

This stage scares me in a way
A stage great sacrifice is made if that demon must stay or go away.
I am at a corner where I must face my broken play and find a space for healing
That moment I must decide on the demon that would rule my soul,
So my identity will not be deceiving.

18/04/2024

The depth that which my soul is broken
I doubt in this life I would ever heal😞
I feel like my existence is a mistake
And my efforts are waste,
I feel my life is sold to pain and my heart continue to bleed.

This life is not mine
This life must be wrong
Even my spirit lives like a Devil's deal,
This life is a curse
My life a heavy cross
Even the joy I yearn to have can only be feel in just my dreams.

I feel a pain so deep within, my demons gradually rule my thoughts.
Now I cry with no tears
Because I hold my worst fears,
My Angels keep tormenting my guts.

The depth that which I have lived so broken
Makes me doubt the Genesis of my own creation.
I feel like i have been scammed by my own god, I mean my maker
I feel right here life is clear and it holds the bitter revelation.

In this world I have no place
That feeling of knowing that your position is another man's space,
Why is it to live I have to war
And every battle I am quick to fall,
This simple life holds the world's greatest scar and yet to be done was not the case.

31/03/2024

Emotion Deep Cold!

Where is my solemn Grace
Where is my Glory
Where is my place
Where is the change to redefine my story.

Where is the care
Where is the comfort,
Where is my joyful tear
Where is the result of my effort.

This loneliness that eats me deep
This trouble that steal my sleep,
This coldness that makes me weep
Where would I find that eternal light to keep.

Many days are gone yet I still carry the night
Where is my Messiah to put me all right,
Many have sworn not to leave my path
Where is the love, the ones who promise to stand with me in this plight.

Where is my Grace
Where is my Glory,
Where is my place
Where is the change to redefine my story.

Where is my salvation
Where is my healing,
Where is my destination
The point of end for this betraying feeling.

Today my best memories chose to be in my past
Those joyful times I had in life that never last,
If life was fair actually as it was cast
Why do I feel coldest and why is my agony the deepest in this frozen class.

21/02/2024

It is sad when the world forget about you
It hurts when the goodness you gave is faded like that morning dew,
It is really worse when the feeling of pain is new
What destroys one is when there is nothing you can do.

When family feeds you with their distance
When friends adore you with their silence,
When relations do not notice your absence
That moment you realize life has brought that coldness to your presence.

Having to be at a stage in life when no one really understand
Is like being in a state of darkness where light is not a plan,
Have you been in that junction where your voice has no sound
And your soul is nowhere to be found.

It is damaging how the world works,
That beautiful words are said about one when you are no longer on the clock.
Have you ever been confused about life that you can not figure out where you belong,
No one to hold along,
Have you been broken to that point
That you decided that life was done and it would be perfectly be well when you are gone.

So today find a way to Merry a little with those you see as a burden
Who knows if death is here all of a sudden,
Look for those living that has been forgotten
Instead of finding peace with them when they are below and flesh already rotten.

08/02/2024

Hello lover ❤️

If I have ever made mistakes in life, you are not one of it.
If I have ever felt sadness in life, I swear you are not cause of it.
If ever I was asked how I want to spend my life, I would say with you in ever in every passing minute.
Only you gives me that heavenly peace, that joy, that calmness that heals my spirit.

I adore the way you bless my bed with your body
And how you turn my house to a home.
I appreciate the life we have built so godly
You are my wife,smile, comfort, you are a perfect match of my missing bone.
I am grateful to wake to your presence
And to show you to the world as my own.

If any essence is left in my soul
It is you that would make it whole.
You brought meaning to a life that was lost
And now my life is living with a purpose and a goal.
If you cast a spell on me my lover,
I do not even care or dare to know.

Hello my lover I am ju**ie for your love
I am glad you and I get to be involve,
If ever life plan to show us anything else
I pray it should not show us the way to dissolve.❤️

04/02/2024

What if my pen stops flowing
And the words in my heart has no voicing,
What if my soul needs that healing
And salvation is far and my thoughts keeps tormenting.

Is there a lonely man that feels at home
I need to know if the coldness really hit his bones,
Is there a person who is not me that feels like me
I need to watch the world from their eyes and know what I can not see.

What if my relations does not sail with my ship
Can it still be define as a relationship.
Or should I give my head, is it enough,
And when I am gone their lives will not be any tough?.

Is there a love that really last forever
Where two or more persons eternity is bond together,
Is there a place I can go and be at peace
I need to know if solace could be found at a ease.

So many questions coming curiously from a dieing soul
So many thoughts on how to make the spirit feel a whole.
So many days of pains, daring emotions in my heart that leaves a hole
Until I am done I will never ever know.😔

02/02/2024

Lately I can not define myself
I have been alone for too long,
I am faded like a forgotten book in a shelf.

Lately nobody seems to care
Lately the coldness gives me fear,
Still I find no honest creature to share
So all this pain is a curse I must bear.

Lately I can not find myself in me
My head struggle to find that certain peace,
Lately it seems my soul is ready to leave.

I wonder if the life is a Grace or a disgrace
Because the beings in my surroundings see me for one who is misplaced.
Lately, I am confused
I do not know why my being feel the emotion of being used and abused.

Just lately I have found and now it is long gone
Even the trusted loyalty was defaulted not minding the oath sworn,
No more space for scars on my heart, so now one can tell in me pain is not a new born.

Presently, I feel I am in a state where I miss me
The distance my spirit keeps with my soul is an understanding you bear when you cross the seven seas.
Like a full bright moon shaded by dark clouds, my night stands.
No need to break it down, because until one is gone then they clearly understand.

01/02/2024

❤️🖤 WELCOME TO FEBRUARY 🖤❤️

🥂🍾 Congratulations to you, we made it to see another new month in this new year. Let the unity of love ❤️ that holds the month be our THEME of favour.
🍷🥂 I appreciate you for being part of this journey so far. Stay Blissful🌞 🤍❤️🖤🍾

31/01/2024

What else do you need from me when you have my soul,
What else should I give when you have me whole,
I have nothing else to offer now I need you to console me
Because I am so naked and the coldness in the world ice me.

Where is that Grace after this Sacrifice I need your Glory,
The better lessons in life is always learnt with pain and I have heard certain stories,
My spirit bleeds because justification lay with beings that are never holy
And from the depth of my heart I yearn for you to shine YOUR light in my darkness because living so lone is very scary.

If I offer my life which tongue would testify,
If I had sold my soul which spirit will glorify,
And because I stand and breathe with confidence
Adore me with that Divinity so I can be a living evidence,
So when my testimony comes it comes as your Glory dignifies.

23/01/2024

I have found a way to live with my demons
But her guest is her nightmare,
I have found a way to tame my fear
To know my thoughts stands as the leash,
I have found a way to make it right
A way to achieve to use my heart more less.

My addiction becomes my destruction
And my timeline pays the fine.
The simple truth I grow deaf for
Might be the spark that lit my light to shine.

I see those that glorify my presence
Are same ones that drag my dignity down to their essence,
I feel the betrayal when I stay absent
And my identity is the road that lead my life to this present.
I have felt the coldness when I am at my lowest
Because when I was down life gave me that cut that was deepest.

Even when I prayed to be saved I found no salvation
Even when I begged to be loved I could not find that emotion,
Still I seek for mercy and found no pardon or pity
Now I watch my soul roam within feeling guilty.

19/11/2023

You feel life more when you are alone,
The coldness of life hits you deepest in loneliness down to your bones.
You feel better when yourself is known,
This is when you hold confidence in confidence because this is your own.

Life gives us physical scars to remember our root
But our deepest pain is carried in our heart like truth.
In life there is no happy end only death,
I have lived life enough and yet I think my greatest pain I have not felt.

In life even family love is weighed on what you have,
And then those who are bond just want everything of yours in half.
You live life more to please your surrounding
yet most would disagree to ease their sense of belonging.

14/11/2023

: MIGHT JUST BE ME - MORALS:

I am not just my Father's Son
I am His Child.
Anything you thought my Father did good, I will do better,
Because I am my Father's Pride.
I will not appear to be only lineage just by resemblance,
But in deeds.
So whoever knows my Father by His doings,
Can testify without being told I am Seed.

I am not just my Mother's Fruit of the womb,
I am her labour.
I might be a Branch in my Family's tree,
Still I hold a root to a particular favour.
I might not be a total perfection of my Mother's tender heart
But still I would hold dearly when I walk in my known honest path.

I might not be the favourite to my brother,
But still in blood our destiny was written to bond.
I will try not to be among His many bothers,
Instead I be His ladder until I am done.

I am not just siblings to my Sister,
I am Her shield from when She was born.
I will still stand to be her first protection
Even when another man has vowed that oath to make the responsibility His Turn.

I am not just my Father's Son
I am His Child.
Anything you thought my Father did good, I will do better,
Because I am my Father's Pride.
I will not appear to be only lineage just by resemblance,
But in deeds.
So whoever knows my Father by His doings,
Can testify without being told I am Seed.

I am not just my Mother's Fruit of the womb,
I am her labour.
I might be a Branch in my Family's tree,
Still I hold a root to a particular favour.
I might not be a total perfection of my Mother's tender heart
But still I would hold dearly when I walk in my known honest path.

I might not be the favourite to my brother,
But still in blood our destiny was written to bond.
I will try not to be among His many bothers,
Instead I be His ladder until I am done.

I am not just siblings to my Sister,
I am Her shield from when She was born.
I will still stand to be her first protection
Even when another man has vowed that oath to make the responsibility His Turn.

I might not grow to be that perfect Man or a responsible Son,
I might not wear the exact reflection of my Father's Sun,
I might not be the definition of a righteous being
Still I know in all my flaws there is a message that I carry that makes Me ME.

04/11/2023

TRUTH : "Honestly, In LIFE nobody wears a perfect smile. Because it never fits our face for a whole perfect day."

02/11/2023

Now my fears are gone
My demons, some tormentors are mostly done.
For the tortures I put to bear, those decisions, those judgements you owned that stains you dear.
Situations like conscience that keeps you still, the leaches to the soul,
All burned and no longer needed here.

Now that the scare is evicted
That urge that let some deeds unfinished,
The conflicts within my thoughts are diminished,
Now I concur with confidence.

Times change, the spotlight gradually hits every one, each second hold their own single target.
Every soul in time holds their own worthy and glorious moment
Those that holds patience in dignity wears these moments and on them it fits so perfect.

Now, that fright is conquered
My certain assurance got it murdered.
For the ones that left without my feelings to consider
Those that left my side not minding the pains to bother,
Now they hold the fear because my karma is striking back like a wicked thunder.

02/11/2023

Always, my heart breaks in a single way
And it hurts.
Seems like an injury that would never heal,
that spot always carries a fresh cut.

Always I fall a victim of a displaced emotion,
Carried this pain for so long it becomes my tradition.
Seems I have a fragile heart
Or maybe I am walking in a crooked path.

Always I only have a second to be loved and eternity to be detested,
Seems I am the only one that ever cares, to dwell in that sanity to never to be tempted
And in my nature my feelings is always being molested.

Always I find a key and find the locks changed,
Seems like a broken soul with a gifted body,
Like that calm being that owns a soul that is Savage,
That peaceful mind, that restless spirit that is damaged.

Always damaged yet the heart still wonders,
No matter how hard I hit I still not pass my humanity borders.
Seems a fate is sealed, this role that is destined was not mine to deal.
If it is my play to roll conscience before pretense
I will gladly live to my call as long it glues with honesty,
Live life to my core even when denied recess.

01/11/2023

❤️❤️ Today is my favorite sister's birthday
She's smart
She's beautiful
She's the family's pet
She's the reason I sit alone and smile sometimes.
God bless your new age Princess
You are a blessing to our family
I love you Angel, wish you well in all your endeavors.
Happy birthday Baby and happy new month to you as well. ❤️❤️

As we come into the 11th month of the year, we come in with Grace and mercies from God. May our failures never repeat itself and may those that plan evil against us never succeed. This month we shall acquire what we require and congratulations shall be our compliments at the end, our family shall live to enjoy our profits and sorrows and pains will never find us.
Stay bless and uplifting.
Happy new month to You .👑❤️
Welcome to November!❤️❤️❤️

23/09/2023

When i was young I was told what to do
If my deeds then was wrong I never had a clue.

When I never was a teen I had no choice,
Even when I was a teen my decisions had no voice.

When I had guidance it is a must I obey their command
Now I am grown life weigh me responsibilities I never demand.

When I had my parents it seems everyone was kind to me
Now they are gone I feel so tiny because to them I am hard to see.

When I have a step ahead they try to break my leg,
They hate to see my success and happy to see me beg.

When(if) I overcome this torment and get much older
When I am finally surrounded by people who will not treat me colder,
I will have an amazing tale to tell
And to those who i would find in a similar shoe I would give them a shoulder.

09/09/2023

Only if dreams came true
And life was just that game,
Only if affections sometimes never judge
And emotions does not bring about actions that would lead to purge.

Only if life was fair in love and war
And nobody dares escape karma in this deep cold world,
Only if our own knowledge is not our greatest destruction
I would have agreed hierarchy stand to order perfection.

Truth be told, in every human there is a demon
Fools lose lies today forgetting that honesty is for tomorrow's demand.
The strongest is not always the last man standing but the one who finally sits on the throne.

Only a wrong man taste the truth to be bitter
And a righteous judge it as deed that is better,
Only if a word was enough
Then the battle for wisdom would not be as tough.

09/09/2023

I really do not know if I am lost
I find myself struggling in an unwanted situations, it seems like a curse.
I really do not know if I am done,
Each nemesis I resolve gives opportunity for new one to come.

I really can not tell what is real,
Anymore every weight I carry is a kill.
Dissapointment always crown my night
Because every space I try to fit in for a day is tight.

My heart still plays the beat that hold my life dancing,
My eyes still wears that sight that tears my body wanting,
My ears are etch on this sound that makes my mind wonder where I am heading
And my tongue bears that taste that convince my thoughts that my eyes might be lying.

I really do not know where I stand in life because I am always on the move,
Most pains always come from someone close and it makes me confuse,
Like i thought I could only feel with my skin but emotions only put my heart to use.

17/08/2023

I am their living dream
I am like the Genesis to their revelation,
Closer ones carry my best criticism
I possess a lifetime of Grace they have never had in three generations.

I am a bad example but their best solution
In their best moment they see my worst situation,
I pray for success and their feelings wears an outfit of a envious emotion
My tragedy is always a point of their discussion.

Who am i?

Only if they know that I am the rebel to my better decisions,
That most smiles I wear are not true but my best acted fictions.

Only if they know the pain beneath the crown
This seclusion they show that weighs me down.
Only if they know how hard it is for me to grow
Just then they will know I am like a Diamond in the dirt that still finds a way to Glow.

13/08/2023

All I wanted

I have searched for care and I could not find
Looked for love that I could call mine,
I have toiled for the best and still got no better
Now I can not tell if my feeling is just restless or it taste bitter.

All I wanted was a shoulder to lean on when I am pain
I worked to find a shelter for when it rains,
All I needed was for someone to tell me that all will be well
Yet the world gave me a harden back and I fell on her shell.

I have looked in places I thought my needs are there
Dug graves to see if I could find a life to share,
All I wanted was a place I could call my home
A place I matter a place I know I own.

Now I wear this freight seems my judgement is cold
Listening to sad songs in a tent my heart is fold,
I am like a night sky with no moon
Waiting for day to break and hoping it comes soon.

All I ever wanted is all I never had.

07/07/2023

STAY STILL 😎

Let your confidence guide your footsteps
And wisdom camp in your thoughts, space her a small tent.
Let your knowledge prep you to find your reps,
So you carry yourself with a decent scent.

Stay still

Take authority for the decisions made,
And contemplate on the ones you about to make.
Let your mistakes be your lessons
And make corrections stand like blessings.

Stay still and let them wonder
For that which gave you courage, a deception you leave them to ponder.
Let your decision be your will
Else regret holds the final deal.

Stay Still

Where you think there is end might be a starting point,
Where you feel you are not chosen might be yours which God anoint.
Let your principle wear some guard
Else your morals shows you an identity you thought you never had.

So for what you thought was not possible
For where your vision finds utterance and makes your sight impossible,
STAY STILL else you lose a fate that was not fated
And change moment to time that was not dated.

29/06/2023

Who am I if I am not me
Should I be the prodigal they see me to be,
Should I be the joy they just want to feel
Should I be the medication for their sickness that never heals,
Maybe I should be the consequences of their failing deal.

Who should I be if I am not me,
Should I dead my dream for them and have my destiny killed,
Should I drop off my agenda and bend to their every will
Should I misplace my goal and learn their skills,
What if I just be me and never mind if I am still seen.

In a world of decisions yet I can not make my own choice
In a place where others are heard yet I can not air my own voice,
In a ship where everyone is captain yet I can not make my own course
Every deed that makes me happy stands as my own curse,
Each time my presence is about to be felt there is someone ready to give me a pause.

Who am I if I can not be me
What can I do if every good plan I try to share they steal,
How can I carry an identity if I do not have a root
Or drop a print when I never had the chance to stand a foot.

20/06/2023

What if I fail in a thousand tries,
Would you judge me for a failure and label it my crime
Or encourage my efforts and wish me limit of the sky.

What if my story so far is that sad,
Will you try to make it better or say the reason is my bad
Or even try to put a little joy and wish that I am glad.

What if you see my damage soul,
What if you feel my darkest pain,
Would you even try to heal me and make me whole
Or flee from me because you see a shame.

What if I finally achieve the best there ever was
Would you tell my tale in a pleasant or disgusting words.
What if at the end I had my joy
Would you let me keep my happiness or burn it down like a mosquito coil.

What if your thoughts about me actually plays like you want in your feeble mind,
Will I live happily and made or I will have a casket with my name before I really die.

Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if I never had existed,
Sometimes I wonder if this being I possess is actually creative or just a life that was not curse to be gifted.
Most times I wish life actually went my way,
Have that peace of mind and never in disarray.

11/06/2023

This is the point.
Where the world brings my humanity to that darkest core,
A place my soul finds solace, a place of no fear of rise or fall.
This is the centre for a being that is doom.

I have carried this pain alone because no one to share,
I have endured the hurt in harmony because nobody cares.
To carry this shame in style, a smile is the perfect wear.
To accept decisions, bear wrong choices even when nobody dares.

I am in a point of no deliverance,
In a moment my existence is ghost.
I am still, at a time where my conciousness is damage.
A place that is lost which holds the broken, lost and nurture their cold.

I am at this point my soul denies my being,
The centre of regrets of what should have been.
This is the point you cry to quench your thirst,
This is the point the world gives you your coldest
A junction you face your greatest fear.
This is that point I stand.

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Good morning Dearest Mom.❤️💝🌞🌻 I mean to let you rest in peace But I am in those days only you could give me ease, I could only imagine what heaven is bless with to have you, But this imagination would only make me fray. Hello Mummy, Wherever you are I pray we meet again, You did left a big hole and since you have been gone I never found home and I feel this pain. Your friends stopped checking up immediately you were gone, I guess the sweet talks and promises was just because you were here. That love only you could give me, that love of a mother, I always miss it with some drops of broken tears. Hello mother😔 Even as I write tears is my only companion now, I do not mean to cry but tears is the only way I could express my heart. Just so you know Mom, Every mother wants to steal my star for their own seed, Even your own blood never checked up to see if your children really feed. Every parent take advantage of my orphan state, I act like I do not know because it was not them that bless me this fate. Before I go Mother, Just know your space in my heart is for eternity, Know I am sorry for not reaching out to the part of my maternity. Before I let tears take the remaining part of this beautiful memory, Just know I have felt that coldness this world can bring And know that I hold believe someday I will experience Home again with you. Farewell and know that I will always miss you.