Songs You'll Hear on the Elevator Ride to Hell: The Worst Songs Ever

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Songs You'll Hear on the Elevator Ride to Hell: The Worst Songs Ever

Songs You'll Hear on the Elevator Ride to Hell is a celebration of bad songs that hit the charts fro

25/02/2023

For this week’s edition of SYHOTERTH, we’ll talk about Gilbert O’ Sullivan’s 1972 smash, “Alone Again (Naturally),” which is easily the most depressing song to ever hit #1 on the Billboard 100.

The thing is, we don’t actually hate this song, and in fact, find it earnest and heartfelt. But man, is it depressing. In the span of 3:36 the singer: 1) Gets left at the altar; 2) questions the existence of God; 3) loses his father; 4) watches his mom die of heartbreak; and 5) contemplates su***de. That’s some pretty heavy lifting for anyone.

This spent 6 non-consecutive weeks at #1 from July to September of 1972, which makes us wonder of the state of mind of the American record buying public. I blame Nixon.

The fact that he was only 21 when he wrote it makes it even more perplexing. Poor guy. This song is guaranteed to make the ride down even more depressing.

enjoy. gilbert o'sullivans alone again in its original form. not that cruddy kareoke version with redubbed crap over the original. this is the real deal L...

17/11/2022

Today’s Throwback Thursday game of Put Up or Shut Up, Rock and Roll Trivia, on Rock 92 was from the week of July 14, 1973, and this monstrosity was at #7. I had activity tried to bleach the memory of this wretched piece of dreck out of my brain, and I was horrified to hear it again.

It’s so cloying sweet and sentimental that more than one listen will cause tooth decay. Holmes is not a bad singer and the song is kind of catchy, but so is gonorrhea and you don’t want that. The song features songwriter Paul Vance’s then 7-year-old son on the chorus, but if you made it that far you’d already be in a murderous rage.

Here is a list of things I’d rather have happen then hear this dreck again:

1. Have my flesh ripped apart by rabid weasels;
2. Have a root canal without Novocain;
3. Fall into a nest of fire ants while covered in honey;
4. Hit myself repeatedly in the forehead with a hammer;
5. Go deaf.

Not necessarily in that order.

“Playground in My Mind” is an affront to humanity and to decent society, and therefore immediately places at at #5 on the Songs You’ll Hear on the Elevator Ride to Hell.

Clint Holmes (born 9 May 1946), is a singer-songwriter and Las Vegas entertainer. He was born in Bournemouth, Dorset, England, the son of an African-American...

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