07/07/2023
I transmute judgement, hate, envy and jealousy with a few inhales + exhales.
I alchemize pain, regret, and disappointments with song, swaying my hips, and shaking my ass.
I sit in the stillness with my discomfort, befriend my demons and integrate my shadows.
I feel things deeply, and not just intentions, emotions, projections, shifts and lies.
You look at me, but I look through you.
I resisted as long as I could, but I have always known and the older I get the more there is no denying it -
I am a radar.
I am a lighthouse.
I am a beacon.
I am a compass.
Many times, I know what I know without having any way of knowing it - and yet, I know.
I may choose to ignore the guiding system within at times, but it never fails. I know I can always trust it.
And even when I feel I have no faith or motivation or inspiration, or strength, and look/feel like an ogre, the years of body dysmorphia + trauma still doesn’t stop the energy in a room from shifting when I walk in.
Or the countless eyes that usually fall on me.
Not only because I command the room, am beautiful, and am clearly THAT bitch -
But because above all the noise that comes at me on a daily basis, internally and externally, I know who the f**k I am.
I know what I’ve healed to get here. I know what I bring to the table. I know how I love. I know how I give. I know how I show up in the world.
I’m not perfect, not better, but on a different frequency. Impossible to compare or compete with.
Everyday, I give myself permission to be unapologetically and authentically me.
And everyday, I remind myself that people can choose to be inspired or intimidated.
Because some of us didn’t come here to follow the herd, fit into a box and comply.
Some of us came here to do what most won’t.
To live the way others only dream about. To create and thrive in life, not just survive it.
So yeah….I get it.
I would be staring too.
