Narcissists cope with losing themselves by getting their needs met AT the expense of others & maintaining a grandiose illusion. Empaths attracted to narcissists have a different coping mechanism...losing themselves completely, staying small & having few boundaries to keep love.
.
Empaths become a match to narcissists when they supress their need to confidently stand strong in their desires. They are attracted to the narcissist because they want to speak their needs (even if it is a false illusion of power) and they are used to this power dynamic in childhood of enmeshment or perpetrator bonding.
.
To heal, both can accept themselves, heal the idea of right vs wrong, and learn to have healthy desires + respect others too. Boundaries do not mean controlling the other person. The empath would work on a healthy sense of self and the narcissist would work on including others.
.
We often misuse the term narcissism for someone who is strong in their belief system and we don't want to accept that. Instead we want to control the idea we have of that person and make their boundaries bendable. Someone strong in their non negotiables is not a narcissist, but rather telling you what they want/don't want. We over use the word narcissism when we don't feel like we can speak up our needs or when we are controlling an incompatibility. A truly empowered person who loves themselves wouldn't be narcissistic and would work together to solve an issue.
.
I agree that a truly diagnosed narcissist who fits all the criteria listed for a long period of time is more rare than the way we currently use the term. Yet, I believe that we all have narcissistic tendencies that may not last consistently, but show up when our ego is being tested. Our parents, partners and selves comprise of multiple parts and ways we react to things. This is why our parents can be great one moment and narcissistic the next.
.
We are all learning to get out of losing ourselves or overpowering ourselves in rela
To be open to your partner's perspective may actually help to heal the past.
.
1.To become aware, explore your emotions. Feel it, write it, and get clear on the root belief by asking questions: "What am I making this mean? What am I afraid of?"
.
2.Once clear, articulate your fear to your partner and asked for their perspective. "Hey help me understand your perspective. I felt xyz when xyz happened."
.
3.See if I are projecting onto your partner what you want to do yourself. How can I incorporate what I want from my partner into my own life as well.
.
When you sit with the hurt and let it pass, see a different meaning: how you can show up to be the deepest version of you in this relationship.
.
It won't happen perfectly every time. But the imperfections will happen together perfectly. Together. As a compatible team, you will get better with practice.
.
Commit to the journey of exploration either within and/or with someone else and you are well on your way of a profound and unconditional experience.
.
💛Follow @awakenthroughlove for more healing tips.
.
.
.
#healthyrelationship #heal #healing #selflove #selfhealers #happycouple #relationshipadviceforwomen #consciousrelationships #relationshiphealing #risingwoman #marriageadvice #secureattachment #marriageissues #consciousrelationship #jayshetty #melrobbins #matthewhussey #stephanspeaks #selflove #securerelationship #secureattachmentstyle #securerelationships #secureattachment #anxiousattachment #love #situationship #relationshiphelp #relationshiptips
Red flags are about trusting the voice within that has been ignored for so long. We've all experienced this. And we often don't really want to see the reality of the red flag because we are so focused on how we expected this relationship to be.
.
We expected to have a happy marriage. We expected to rescue this person. We expected to fix their addictions. We expected this person would commit. We expected to build an empire.
.
Looking at the red flags is painful. What you tried so hard for is no longer. Yet, your courage to see the truth in this situation must outweigh staying in denial of the red flags. You must have a desire to see the truth behind the red flags even if the unknown is scary. (Ps it's often the known past fear that we project into the unknown that makes it scary.)
.
So explore, "What is so scary about the red flag? What is the truth that I have been avoiding? What is the potential you desire with him? How can you create this else where in abundant ways?"
.
Red flags are about regaining YOUR self trust to make hard decisions that align with your priorities. You matter. Your decisiveness to commit to your values matter...to solve anything that keeps your way...To keep going in pursuit of your happiness. You can do this.
.
💛 Follow @awakenthroughlove for more healing tips.
.
.
.
#relationships #relationship #boundaries #redflags #redflag #selflove #selfhealers #heal #healing #situationship #dating #anxiousattachment #jayshetty #melrobbins #love #stephanspeaks #matthewhussey #risingwoman #narcfree #situationships #breakup #breakups #redflags🚩 #redflagsinrelationships #relationshipadviceforwomen #relationship101 #relationshiphealing #loveyourself #selflovejourney
THIS is the message to stand by you. Your intuition is a soft voice and doesn't need to scream to get your attention. It comes from a place of desire rather than resistance. Nonetheless we can use the fear to discover what we do want and act from desire.
.
Resiliency is built in hard decisions that don't always feel good, but are necessary in the long term for your vision. It is going to be painful and it may be confusing right now. You have every right to feel the way you feel...hurt, loss, etc. Grieve. Go right through the pain with softness and support.
.
Yet, keep standing by your values of commitment, emotional connection, etc, and believe it will all make sense one day...that the paint strokes will lead up to the whole picture 🎨.
.
One day you'll see that the Universe created more expansion and love for you. That you stood by your values and those who couldn't come along fell apart so that you could attract those who wanted to be a part of your story. You are stronger than you could ever imagine. 💗
.
🫶 Follow @awakenthroughlove for relationship and healing tips.
.
.
.
#selflove #love #meditation #mexico #spiritualreels #awaken #eckharttolle #calm #boundaries #empaths #relationships #relationship #love #heal #healing #awakening #consciousrelationships #selflovequotes #selfdevelopmentquotes #osho #deepakchopra #situationship #selfhealers #jayshetty #melrobbins #tonyrobbins #selfdevelopment #healingjourney #healingquotes #innerpeace
Avoidants create distance to cope with loss of self and rejection trauma.
.
When the mother leaves the room, the child with an avoidant attachment has little difficulty exploring and won't cry for the mother. When the mother returns, the child pushes away, turns its head, or hides...distrusting and putting distance to protect itself. The mother suffocates the child, not recognizing that this child has its own sense of self. She may impose food, chores, beliefs, and obligations onto the child. It is not okay for this child to express emotions and desires.
.
Speaking their truth meant loss of love so the only way to cope was to create distance. Often this happens when a parent expects their child to be an extension of themselves rather than have their own sense of self.
.
Often avoidants felt suffocated, engulfed, or trapped with a parent. They were powerless to control the incoming violation so they pull away to maintain a sense of self. For example, if mom insists you eat even though you are not hungry, that is an incoming violation. You feel powerless to have a sense of self. The only way to cope is to create distance.
.
Many don't realize that avoidants are terrified of rejection and speaking their boundaries, but they cope in differently...by pushing away. This is an incredibly painful state to not feel safe to express all of the beauty of you.
.
To heal an avoidant attachment, become aware of how you use distance to cope with the fear of loss or rejection. And start to fill that distance with vulnerability. This means connecting to your emotions and speaking your truth throughout the day. Let people see and hear you. This is intimacy.
.
.
.
.
#attachmentstyles #risingwoman #attachmentstyle #attachmentstylestherapy #attachmentstylesanddating #anxiousattachment #tealswan #anxiousavoidant #avoidantattachment #avoidantattachmentstyle #avoidantdismissive #avoidantbehaviour #enmeshment #deepakchopra #tonyrobbins #disorganizedattachment #disorganizedattachem
When our need for harmony/oneness (or just any need in general) is so scarce, it clouds the truth of reality and pushes us to see a match that "could be" instead of one that isn't complementary.
.
This is where we need to be patient with our needs and see the truth as to whether a person is a compatible match, rather than projecting or molding them into what we want them to be. The Universe doesn't work on a linear time table.
.
For example, we settle into relationships because they "could" work to get our needs met. Or we settle" with job applicants because we just need the position filled.
.
When Ed, (my life partner) came along, I not only had to see the above where I clouded past relationships with what could be rather than reality, but now I had to discern that with Ed I was safe in reality.
.
Where I refused to see red flags in my past relationships, now I had to see green ones...quickly. My past beliefs had to loosen so I could believe Ed's meaning. I couldn't understand that he was loyal, secure etc. The truth was clouded in the past and I had to learn to trust myself to stay open, understand Ed's meaning, and mine.
.
But the more I stayed open to his meaning and I told myself I want to get rid of these past limiting beliefs, the more I was able to set myself free.
.
I quickly learned not to cast people into our narrow negative projections and perspectives from the past. One misinterpretation as a child because we haven't formed logic yet, shouldn't cast our entire future.
.
To really have the trust in yourself to hear someone else's truth and either discern that...
1. Ok this is a repeat of something I don't want and I want something else so I need a new action
Or/And
2. Ok their meaning is not the same as my old belief so I am ready to change it so I can be free...
.
Keep an open mind. We don't really know someone else's meaning until we ask and truly hear them. Discern the reality of the situation by being curious and asking questions. Th
Speaking their truth meant loss of love so the only way to cope was to create distance. Often this happens when a parent expects their child to be an extension of themselves rather than have their own sense of self.
.
Often avoidants felt suffocated, engulfed, or trapped with a parent. They were powerless to control the incoming violation so they pull away to maintain a sense of self.
.
Many don't realize that avoidants are terrified of rejection and speaking their boundaries, but they cope differently...by pushing away. This is an incredibly painful state to not feel safe to express all of you.
.
To heal an avoidant attachment, become aware of how you use distance to cope with the fear of loss or rejection...
.
👉Do you criticize yourself or others to create distance, avoiding rejection?
👉Do you cancel plans because you fear losing yourself or being rejected?
👉Do you escape in your room to avoid confrontation?
👉Do you create distance by being the strong one? The one who always does everything for everyone so you don't have to be vulnerable?
👉Do you doubt your plans because you fear something bad will happen that is unpredictable?
👉How do you push away instead of allow? Is your body allowing or creating distance with others?
Just observe how you create distance lovingly without judgement.
.
Then naturally start to fill that distance with vulnerability. This means connecting to your emotions and speaking your truth throughout the day.
.
"Oh I'm feeling nervous right now."
"I felt hurt when you said xyz." What did you mean?
"I am overwhelmed."
Let people see and hear you. Let them in when ready. (Note: do not force the wall down. Honor the wall and you will naturally phase into vulnerability)
.
#attachmentstyles #risingwoman #attachmentstyle #attachmentstylestherapy #secureattachmentstyle #anxiousattachment #tealswan #anxiousavoidant #avoidantattachment #avoidantattachmentstyle #avoidantdismissive #anxiety #enmeshment #securea
Speaking their truth meant loss of love so the only way to cope was to create distance. Often this happens when a parent expects their child to be an extension of themselves rather than have their own sense of self.
.
Often avoidants felt suffocated, engulfed, or trapped with a parent. They were powerless to control the incoming violation so they pull away to maintain a sense of self.
.
Many don't realize that avoidants are terrified of rejection and speaking their boundaries, but they cope differently...by pushing away. This is an incredibly painful state to not feel safe to express all of you.
.
To heal an avoidant attachment, become aware of how you use distance to cope with the fear of loss or rejection...
.
👉Do you criticize yourself or others to create distance, avoiding rejection?
👉Do you cancel plans because you fear losing yourself or being rejected?
👉Do you escape in your room to avoid confrontation?
👉Do you create distance by being the strong one? The one who always does everything for everyone so you don't have to be vulnerable?
👉Do you doubt your plans because you fear something bad will happen that is unpredictable?
👉How do you push away instead of allow? Is your body allowing or creating distance with others?
Just observe how you create distance lovingly without judgement.
.
Then naturally start to fill that distance with vulnerability. This means connecting to your emotions and speaking your truth throughout the day.
.
"Oh I'm feeling nervous right now."
"I felt hurt when you said xyz." What did you mean?
"I am overwhelmed."
Let people see and hear you. Let them in when ready. (Note: do not force the wall down. Honor the wall and you will naturally phase into vulnerability)
.
#attachmentstyles #risingwoman #attachmentstyle #attachmentstylestherapy #secureattachmentstyle #anxiousattachment #tealswan #anxiousavoidant #avoidantattachment #avoidantattachmentstyle #avoidantdismissive #anxiety #enmeshment #securea
Become conscious throughout the day asking yourself these questions.
.
Sometimes it's not about the what we are doing, but rather the how.
.
👉How are we approaching a negative emotion?
👉How are we communicating?
👉How are we responding?
👉How are we caring for our body?
👉How are we viewing ourselves or others?
👉How are we living throughout the day?
.
Now think about these questions and add your own. Do you do these tasks with harshness, criticism, disapproval, reactivity, rigidity, or isolation? Or do you do welcome these tasks with fluidity, openness, softness, and gentleness?
.
Every task you do, see if you can add a gentle touch. How can you be gentle to your body instead of scrubbing it fast? Are you massaging your face with because you want to avoid wrinkles or because you want to love yourself and nourish your body? Are you working out because you want to be thinner and hate your body? Or do you want to move because you want to nourish yourself?
.
Wherever there is hardness there is lack and fear. So stop and think about ...
👉What do I fear?
👉Where am I not enough here?
.
Feel these emotions. Acknowledge them then see if you can shift it to softness, gentleness, and a new transaction with your body, to love it.
.
We don't necessarily have to get rid of the thing itself like movement, but rather change the way we are perceiving that thing. Change our mindset. Change the transactions and outcomes we have set up with ourselves (like "I need to do this first so I can have this") and instead fall in love with us now. You don't need fixing, you need softness, understanding, and acceptance.
.
.
.
#selfacceptance #deepakchopra #eckarttolle #jayshetty #risingwoman #gabbybernstein #melrobbins #healingtrauma #selfhealers #selflove #holisticpsychologist #oprah #anxiousattachment #calm #innerpeace #thirdeye #spirituality #selfhelp #healing #selfawareness #consciousness #knowthyself #heal #breathe #wellbeing #happiness #inspiratio
Here's how...
1. Insecure attachment or negative relationship patterns of dismissing, invalidating, protesting, controlling, blaming etc are not effective. They will not get you what you want, but only perpetuate a negative cycle. Know this is a dead end and decide on a more effective form of communication. Acting on a negative emotion is mostly not a good idea.
.
2. First, you MUST address the trigger if you are in flight or fight mode. We must regulate by taking a few minutes to let the negative emotion spread throughout the body. Don't think just give the body space for it to flow through.
.
OR you can involve your partner by sitting facing one another. Deep breathe with one hand on each other's heart. Make eye contact and you will immediately sink back into an open heart space. It's harder to be mean looking into your partner's beautiful eyes.
.
3. When calm, invite the logical mind to get clear on exactly what you're feeling and what you need from your partner. Do you need validation, understanding, problem solving, connection, intimacy reassurance, etc? Get extremely clear on what you feel/need.
.
4. Communicate your feeling/need to your partner openly without any attack, protest, judgment, or defensiveness. "I felt unsupported when you showed up late. I need to feel like I can trust you. How can we solve this?" Or "I am feeling unsupported at home. Can we make a schedule to get tasks done together?"
.
5. Listen to your partner and genuinely be receptive to their understanding. Then work together to find a solution that feels harmonious for both of you. Sometimes the solution is you actually agree with your partner. Other times your partner might agree with you. Or you might need a solution that respects both of your needs.
.
Stay tuned for an exciting Awaken Attachment project coming soon! 🙌💗
.
.
#relationshipadviceforwomen #jayshetty #consciousrelationship #marriageissues #melrobbins #relationshipcoaching #stephanspeaks #avoidantattachm
Ask yourself: "What is this teaching me?"
This is not to be used tp bulldoze emotions first such as anger, hurt and fear. We must be willing to feel these emotions in order to let go. Life is a journey not a perfect machine.
.
Although much easier said than done, so often we let rejection and disappointment get in the way of us seeing that when one relationship door is closing, a greater one is opening.
.
We tell a painful story about what happened...that we will never have our desires, love, validation, or support again just because of one door shutting.
.
It can feel extremely painful when you want so badly a relationship to work or a partner to do something for us...it would close the void.
.
We are fixated on changing our partners and what we want to get that we forget that we can embody that need FIRST.
.
If you want support, you can be support for your partner.
If you want love, you can be love for others.
.
And so often when one door is closing, a better door is opening.
.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel...we are shedding coping mechanisms and what doesn't work in order to align with what does work.
.
So when you feel like nothing is working, stop and reflect on an emotional level...
.
What thought pattern is not serving me?
What is causing me pain?
What do I need to release and why haven't I?
What won't I accept what just isn't working? What can I do instead?
What have I tried that just doesn't work?
And how can I commit to a new door that does work?
.
It's not always easy, but trust the Universe has something even better in store for you.
.
💜What does this awaken within you? Comment below 👇
.
.
.
#divorce #breakups #jayshetty #risingwoman #gabbybernstein #spiritualgrowth #tealswan #eckharttolle #tonyrobbins #deepakchopra #osho #spiritualjourney #innerpeace #abrahamhicks #transformation #selfhelp #healing #selfawareness #consciousness #heal #breathe #wellbeing #happiness #inspirational #wisdom #growth #movingforward
Your needs are not wrong. Where it feels energetically consuming is when we demand or control our boundaries onto others via reactions. But the reaction is happening only because we are suppressing the need. If we speak the desire openly sooner, then ta da no need for the reaction.
.
This is why we often deny our needs...because we are used to them coming from a controlling, reactive or manipulative space from others. We are used to others blaming us for their boundaries. But boundaries have nothing to do with others and everything to do with your wants. It is a different energy controlling others and demanding that others obey vs us just powerfully owning what would work for us. Example: someone saying, "Don't have that video on your phone" is a different control energy than "I am not going to look at that video."
.
One of the ways boundaries become problematic is when there is a conflict of differing desires. We are so used to losing ourselves or forcing our boundaries onto others when the opposite needs to happen...share what you want, the other person shares what they want, and together we creatively brainstorm until a beautiful resolution is formed. You are allowed to say "Here's why I'm really needing this now. Would taking 5 minutes off of work be okay?" It's this flexibility between people to find a mutual resolution that is needed. And so often it's about control and demand.
.
It also requires us to get deep into what we are really wanting. What is the real reason for this boundary about? How can I feel empowered to get this need met in a way that is mutually flexible? What am I really wanting underneath that action? For example, we may say. "You didn't clean up your dishes when the real need is you are overworked and need to discuss about having more support."
.
1. Find the true fear and then need underneath the action.
2. Share your need and also hear their perspective.
3. Problem solve a solution that works for everyone.
.
.
.
#stephanspeaks #dr
Note: it's not always possible to create a win win. The best win win may be to leave the relationship. You can have appropriate distance protecting oneself and understand someone's pain.
.
When we tilt from sacrificing our needs for others, we end up dealing with this lack by becoming overly defensive, reactive, bitter, or narcissistic. The key is to balance You and Me from an open flexible space.
.
Energy is either pushing against (resistance) or bringing towards. To love is to bring that aspect closer. When one is including a part of themselves or others, they create love/oneness. When one is pushing away a part of themselves or others, they form separation. Loving yourself is also loving others.
.
Where it's separation is to act for the benefit of an aspect within against someone else. To me, it's an AND... taking the aspects within as a part of yourself AND simultaneously including others externally as a part of you...as life is a mirror.
.
.
.
#warriorgoddesstraining #relationshipadviceforwomen #jayshetty #consciousrelationship #melrobbins #relationshipcoaching #donmiguelruiz #eckharttolle #risingwoman #tonyrobbins #drshefali #conflictresolution #empathsupport #couplestherapy #conflictrepair #relationshipsuccess #couplescounseling #therapysession #selfhealers #codependencyrecovery #attachmenttrauma #narcissist #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachmentstyle #securerelationship #secureattachment #deepakchopra #healthyboundaries
If you start to honor your inner child's needs and wants, it will be easier to say no, let go of attachments, and stop losing yourself for others.
.
It will be easier to see self abuse the more you can get in touch with your truth and honor that above all else.
.
One way to get in touch with your inner child is to ask yourself all day "What do I want to do?" And no longer do what you SHOULD do. It can wait or outsource it. Be willing to do whatever problem solving necessary to honor her desire to be happy.
.
You want to get the opposite healing experience for her, not repeat it. That is the definition of self love.
.
Often it is hard to speak our needs because we value acceptance and oneness. Boundaries are often confused with resistance.
.
However, we can understand and accept someone's opinion openly AND also voice and honor what our inner child wants right now, sticking up for ourselves.
.
.
.
#melrobbins #mind #warriorgoddesstraining #growth #eckhartolle #holisticpsychologist #selfhelp #wisdom #jayshetty #risingwoman #empaths #gabbybernstein #transformation #heatherashamara #stephanspeaks #esterhicks #inspirationalreels #donmiguelruiz #tealswan #eckharttolle #risingwomancommunity #tealswandailyupdate #tealswanofficial #reclaimyourpower #wellness #eckharttollewisdom #drshefali #knowledge #selflove #selfhealers
In childhood, most of us were parented with the style of power...our parents bulldozed our emotions and needs thinking they knew what was best. They wanted to be right instead of learning how to harmonize, hear and find a solution that works for everyone. This is no one's fault as authority has taught power struggles for years.
.
In households where it is expected to debate to be right, it will be extremely difficult to feel understood. They are defending their shame because vulnerability is too scary. They have not been taught to own their shame "I am ashamed and afraid I may be wrong. You're teaching me something and admitting to that is scary."
.
Now, as adults we often want power because we were so powerless. And power is not wrong at all. But it is futile in relationship and creates divide. Thus, we can get power in healthy ways.
.
If we want to be understood, we have to understand ourselves and others. We have to be willing to want to see our partner and to be asked to be seen too. This doesn't mean we give up and sacrifice our wants. It means we ask for understanding without judgment and provide the same to our partners. Both experiences are valid even if you don't agree on the facts.
.
Instead of defending against why something they are saying isn't true, see how what he/she is saying may be true.
.
Understand the emotions underneath the words. See their hurt and how it is causing you pain without having to agree on the facts. Emotions are valid even if the story is not.
.
.
.
#traumatalk #attachmentstyle #avoidantattachmentissues #avoidantattachment #attachmenttrauma #emotionalsafety #boundariesarehealthy #reparenting #mindfulrelationships #healthyrelationshiptips #healthyrelationships #marriageissues #relationshipsuccess #mentalhealth #holisticpsychology #healingtrauma #healing #traumahealing #acceptance
Originally I made this post for men, but use interchangeably:).
Safety: Men, your safe looks MUCH different than hers. Even if you feel safe, she is most likely not. Ask her continuously how she feels and what she needs (safety/security is especially needed for changes, trips, unknown places, assertion if you are not there or transitions). Read into her body language. If she looks or feels unsafe or pulling away, lead or ask her how you can help. Do NOT put her in dangerous situations where she has to fend for herself.
Indecision: If she says yes then changes her mind or brings up past points, it's because it popped up in a moment of fear when before she felt safe. Women are unpredictable and need help resolving resistance. Tell her, "Talk to me. What do you need to feel safe? Let's work through this." Women are calling men into patience and into their natural skills of repair :).
Soften: Anytime she is controlling, defensive, hardening or cold, she is in her masculine and that is a clue that she is unsafe, needs your down regulation and presence to soften. She needs to feel safe to come to you vulnerably and try not to dismiss, reject or view her as a burden.
See it as an opportunity to guide, lead and help create forward movement for her. Spend time where you are focused on her sans distractions.
Guide: Guide and lead her emotions, but gently and openly. Don't treat her like you would with your business colleagues. That means don't be overly aggressive, dismissing or upfront that would crush her or make her contract. Do not bulldoze or dominate her. Point things out gently not abruptly. Validate her when she speaks as well and offer positive comments to create a win win for both.
.
.
#secureattachment #oprah #attachmentstyle #selfhealers #healthyrelationship #healingtrauma #relationshipadviceforwomen #attachmenttrauma #therapyofinstagram #attachmentstyleanddating #theholisticpsychologist #tealswan #securerelationship #tonyrobbins #couplescounseling #ris
Replace striving for perfection in relationships with focusing on repairing rupture.
.
This means we don't expect ourselves to be perfect everytime, but rather embrace the opportunity to learn from our emotions and vulnerably repair any rupture.
.
This means when someone says they are hurt or felt confused xyz, we reassure them and repair the bond...even if we have a different perspective about the incident.
.
This also means when we react, we attune to possible hurt that we may cause our children or partner and explain vulnerably that it has nothing to do with them.
.
We have a tendency to throw the baby out with the bath water and want perfection. However, there are great key messages from conflict.
.
The more we can expect conflict and get stronger at repairing the conflict, the more we will feel secure in our relationships. This means including their needs and ours.
.
Think about someone vulnerably saying to you "Oh wait, I'm reacting and I don't want to. I'm going to take a few deep breaths." Or "I understand you felt hurt. Thank you for coming to me. I didn't mean it that way. Let me tell you what I meant so you don't have to feel hurt."
.
You instantaneously feel better. The connection is restored.
.
It is not about being a perfect partner, but about owning your vulnerability and working through your hurt to access understanding. Everyone speaks the same language of vulnerability.
.
.
.
#warriorgoddesstraining #relationshipreels #jayshetty #risingwoman #gabbybernstein #melrobbins #esterhicks #donmiguelruiz #tealswan #eckharttolle #risingwoman #tealswandailyupdate #tealswanofficial #couplescounseling #securerelationship #tonyrobbins #drshefali #stephanspeaks #breneebrown #jayshetty #joedispenza #gabbybernstein #secureattachmentstyle #tonyrobbins #joevitale #mattkahn #donmiguelruiz #abrahamhicks #relationshipadviceforwomen #relationshiphealing
There is a difference between toxic positivity and genuine positivity...
1. Genuine positivity means all parts of you are on board wanting to be positive. It means you genuinely have gotten to a place of forgiveness, empathy, peace, understanding, gratitude, and love.
.
This state can't be forced and often requires the feeling of negative emotions first. Some people have genuinely reached a place of true positivity and we should not accuse them of bypassing or toxic positivity just because it feels like that to us.
.
2. Toxic positivity is a state of resistance. Often toxic positivity means we are using positivity to bypass or escape emotional discomfort. We don't want to get drained by someone else's energy because it triggers something within us. This especially happens with busy parents who don't have patience for their child's emotions. Or positivity can be used as a power trip against someone. "We all choose our path. See the bright side of things. Everything happens for a reason, etc."
.
It could be incredibly unsafe to bypass someone else's experience. It will only reinforce an invalidating and painful childhood experience of not being heard. Instead, try to truly understand what a person needs for their healing experience.
.
This is why respect, empathy and discernment for BOTH polarities are equally important. This is why I'm passionate about my Method that incorporates BOTH aspects. And sometimes experiencing the darkness is necessary for the light.
.
.
.
.
#melrobbins #eckhartolle #breneebrown #jayshetty #joedispenza #abrahamhicks #gabbybernstein #securerelationship #tonyrobbins #joevitale #donmiguelruiz #abrahamhicks
#toxicpositivity #avoidantattachmentstyle #toxicpositivityculture #toxicpositivityawareness #deepakchopra #tealswan #tealswanofficial #osho #secureattachmentstyle #spiritualbypassing #emotionalvalidation #selfhealers #disorganizedattachment #risingwoman #stephanspeaks #anxiousattachment #attachmentstyle
The silent treatment in childhood leaves permanent scars that affects your adult life specifically the decision making process because of exaggerated consequences.
Everything is viewed through the lens of abandonment. And abandonment is DEATH to a child... and adults...more than we want to admit.
Connection and belonging are top human needs that we often gloss over. This is why we are creating a community that values the individual and never abandons them 🙌
We need each other. We need support. We need to be vulnerable with each other rather than turn our backs and create distance. We need intentional community that values the individual's talents and needs.
There is a difference between the silent treatment and taking a break because you see yourself going down a negative path. In that case you would explain to your partner that you need a break to down regulate and that you're not abandoning he/she. Communication of intention is the biggest difference.
.
.
.
#deepakchopra #eckarttolle #jayshetty #risingwoman #gabbybernstein #melrobbins #healingtrauma #donmiguelruiz #tealswan #tealswandailyupdate #tealswanofficial #tealswanthespiritualcatalyst #tonyrobbins #selfhealers #securerelationship #secureattachment #holisticpsychology #holisticpsychologist #oprah #nervoussystemregulation #selflove #boundaries #traumatherapy #traumainformedcare #emotionalsafety #emotionalneeds #therapysession
#silenttreatment #abandonmenttrauma
This will change your relationship with boundaries...