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11/06/2026

Fellow men who are attracted to chubbier women, why?
I (19m) started university last year and to be honest without sounding weird it genuinely has been like heaven to me because everyday on campus i see chubby girls which makes my heart flutter a bit. Unfortunately, i lack the courage to actually talk to them, which is something im working on :/

When i was in school there were mainly girls of a normal more conventionally attractive body type which didn’t do much for me, unlike my friends

The reason im asking is because i feel different to other guys my age who are head over heels for more slim, conventionally attractive women, but im more into the heavier women and i just don’t know why that is.

At the end of the day i guess it doesn’t really matter but i am curious as to where this attraction comes from and why it differs from more traditional heteronormative attraction

I guess another question is how do i actually approach these ladies without being perceived as a creep

edit: for reference id say 35-50% with 40-50% being at the top of my list here
https:///kubexfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/body-fat-percentage-women.jpg

11/06/2026

Starting to resent my girlfriend over her constant emotional meltdowns, Is this normal for us guys?
I’m a guy who’s always prided himself on being caring and kind. My girlfriend has always been emotional, but lately it’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to resent her, and that scares me.

Right now she’s been sobbing in my bed since last night and all through today. I’ve been there for her: I’ve asked if she’s okay, offered to make her food, comfort her, do anything she needs. She just says “no” and keeps crying.

This whole episode started because she felt I didn’t show her I cared yesterday. The specific things felt small to me:

She was playing with my dog all day and afterwards would ask me to brush hair off her clothes (which I did) then we were going to bed and I felt so tired and she asked me again as her pjamas had dog hair on it. To me it looked fine so I told her that but she kept persisting so I eventually brushed it for her. She said me resisting made her feel like I didn't care about her

At dinner I made what I thought was a harmless joke about her work. Everyone laughed including her at the time but she later said it made her uncomfortable. I apologized sincerely for both.

Even after apologizing, she shuts down completely. This has been a pattern for years: something minor sets her off, she cries all day or longer, won’t talk, won’t accept comfort, and tells me to go away. Meanwhile, I sit there feeling helpless and drained.

I’m starting to feel like I’m wasting days of my life just sitting in bed next to someone sobbing who won’t even tell me what she needs. I’d do anything for her if she’d just tell me. But instead, I’m left stewing in resentment and thinking: life’s too fing short to spend it like this. It's depressing.

Questions for the guys here:

Have you dealt with a partner who shuts down and cries for days over small things?

How do you set boundaries or communicate without seeming insensitive?

At what point do you decide the emotional mismatch is too big to overcome?

Should I just leave? I'm sick of it. I want a happy positive gf.

11/06/2026

Why did my wife tell me this after the divorce?
I loved my wife we married very young. We ended up parting due to difficulties in our marriage yet I still loved her dearly. I wanted us to work.

The divorce took a long time and finalised recently and I sent her a text just saying goodbye. Today she called me from an unknown number to say she wants to “check-in”. We haven’t spoken in almost a year and then she just says I need to be honest I met someone and she elaborated that it was shortly after me and she then got pregnant with his child and had a miscarriage. Why would she call me and tell me this. They are no longer together and now she wants to “catch up over dinner” my brain is fried.

Thanks to all those that commented I am not going to meet her. My heart is broken and idk what to do next I just know if she could she would do it to me again so I can never let her try to worm her way back in.

Update: Thank you to all those that showed kind words and consideration, people often forget that it’s a person writing this and my emotions have been very raw. So for all those with kind words I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Final update: I am not going to have s*x with her it opens a can of worms that I think could put me in danger, she could have an STD, get pregnant or even accuse me of something. In fact I am not meeting her at all. She called me again to set up a time and I told her that she should go reach out to some other exes because I am not interested in this anymore and if she contacts me again I will get a restraining order.

11/06/2026

If 70% of divorces are initiated by women… what actually makes marriage worth it anymore?
We all keep hearing “marriage is hard work.” Cool. But what the hell is the work? Because if 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and 40 to 50% of marriages end, then clearly someone’s missing the plot. And I’m done with the fluffy advice like “just communicate more” or “don’t go to bed angry.” Seriously?

Let’s talk about what’s actually happening: Women initiate the majority of divorces, and in many cases, they come out ahead. • If there are kids, they’re more likely to get custody. • If there’s a significant income gap, they may receive alimony or child support. • If the marriage wasn’t meeting emotional needs, they get peace. • And socially? Divorce doesn’t carry the same stigma it used to. In fact, it’s often framed as empowerment.

Meanwhile, a lot of men lose their house, time with their kids, their mental health, and sometimes even their sense of purpose. So I’m asking: what does a healthy, stable marriage actually look like anymore?

What makes two people want to stay married? Shared finances? Mutual attraction? Trauma bonding? Emotional safety? Or is it just two people gritting their teeth and pushing through the years, hoping they die before the paperwork?

If love isn’t enough - and let’s be real, it clearly isn’t - then what is?

Because right now, it feels like the benefits of divorce are clearer than the benefits of marriage.

EDIT: thank you for all of the feedback. I’ve been replying but there’s no way I’ll be able to respond to every post. For additional context, I’m in a long-term relationship myself. I have a good career and feel stable, and while I’m not against marriage, I also don’t feel a strong need for it personally. For me, commitment and shared values matter more than a legal title. That said, my partner comes from a culture where marriage is the norm, so I’m trying to approach the entire situation logically, with sensitivity and respect.

11/06/2026

Is dating a woman without social media a turn off?
I, 28F, recently got back into dating but I don't have an instagram or snapchat. I find social media confusingly performative these days and the idea of grown men sending me DMs or hearting photos that I post to "shoot their shot" is weird to me. If I'd like a man to see my hot selfie, I would rather send it to the guy I'm talking to, not just posting it aimlessly on the internet. I also just prefer to keep in touch with friends and family by texting or calling or actually seeing them in person.

I also don't like doomscrolling on my phone endlesslessly as it's depressing and an energy vampire. I feel a bit like a black sheep when I tell men that I don't have social media, I recognize it's a bit atypical. It catches most men off guard, and I found its normal that people want to pick apart your social media before getting to know you in person.

Do you find it to be a turn off if you met a woman who didn't have social media?

11/06/2026

UPDATE: 4 dates in and she is waiting for another guy to go on a date with her. How did I do in my response?
Thank you to everyone who helped with feedback on my last post. I read almost all of them. For those that don’t know the backstory, basically I’ve been on 4 dates with a girl and she is showing a ton of interest and effort. It’s been a month and I have no interest in pursing anyone else so I asked if she was seeing anyone to which she said she was talking to a guy for weeks and they still haven’t found time to go on a date but she plans to.

Here was my response to her:

“I really appreciate the honesty. I would be open to only seeing each other from now on as I’ve really enjoyed our time together and look forward to more, but I also realize that we still have a lot to learn about each other. I am okay with each of us exploring other options and revisiting this convo later down the line”

So basically, I didn’t shut it down but I also let her know I’m not going to be exclusive if she isn’t. To be honest, the fact that she’s waiting on another guy to plan a date for weeks just kind of puts me off and I’m losing interest pretty fast. I’ve already found myself pulling back and ignoring her texts for a while.

How was my reaction/response?

11/06/2026

Third date awkward argument over paying for dessert. Was my expectation unreasonable?
I (33M) went on three dates with a girl (30F) I met on Hinge.

The first two dates went really well. I paid for both dinners and drinks and didn’t think much of it. I’m generally fine paying on early dates.

On the third date we went out to dinner again, which I also paid for. After dinner we decided to grab dessert nearby. When we got to the counter I expected she might offer to grab dessert since I had paid for everything so far.

But she didn’t reach for her wallet at all. Instead she kind of looked at me like she expected me to pay again.

She then asked, “Did you expect me to pay or something?”

I said not necessarily, but I thought it would have been nice if she at least offered since I had covered the previous two dates and dinner that night. To me it felt like a small gesture of reciprocation.

That turned into a bit of a heated back and forth. She basically said that when a guy invites a girl out he should expect to pay and that bringing up money or expecting reciprocity this early is a turn off.

From my perspective, it wasn’t really about the cost of the dessert. It was more about the principle of showing some effort or appreciation.

The vibe definitely changed after that conversation.

Is it unreasonable to expect some kind of reciprocity by the third date? Would you have just paid again and not said anything?

11/06/2026

A woman that rejected me 12 years ago seems to now be interested in dating me, is this something I should pursue?
When I was in my early twenties, I asked this woman out. She politely turned me down, nothing dramatic, just one of those moments you carry with you. Life went on, we lost touch, and I didn’t think much about it again.

Recently, she reached out. She told me she’s always respected me, that she remembers how kind I was back then, and that she’d like to meet for coffee sometime. On the surface it sounds flattering, but I can’t help feeling conflicted.

It’s been over a decade. I spent those years building a life, working on myself, staying consistent. Meanwhile, she had her own path (relationships, experiences, choices that obviously didn’t involve me). She’s now a single mother of two. And that’s fine. But why now? Why reach out after so long?

Part of me wonders if she’s suddenly seeing me differently because her circumstances have changed, not because I’ve become more attractive to her as a person. Am I actually what she wants, or just what’s convenient at this stage?

I know people evolve, and maybe she genuinely does see me in a new light. Still, there’s a nagging feeling that if I wasn’t good enough back then, why should I be the backup plan now?

11/06/2026

Is it normal for your gf not to be curious, is this just how girls are???
So my girlfriend and I have been together for a few years now, and it feels like we’re getting to the stage where the relationship should kind of take the next step. One thing that’s really starting to annoy me though is that she just isn’t a curious person.

I don’t think she’s rude or means anything badly by it, but here’s an example: yesterday I shared a memory I had from when I was 10 years old it came back to me when I saw a dog, because when I was a kid a dog attacked my friend and I sort of fended it off. I thought it was a cool story to share, and all she said was, “oh wow you’re old now,” because I said it was like 25 years ago. That was it. She meant it as a joke but it still kinda annoyed me

And it’s not just once. If I tell her a memory, a thought, something interesting I’ve learned, or even just stuff about my work day, she usually just responds with something like “oh yeah,” “true,” or “that’s cool.” Never really asks follow up questions. I know she doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but it kind of makes me feel intellectually shut down. I actually did mention to her a while ago saying how I feel like you're not really interested in what I say because you don't ask questions she got defensive about it

I’m a naturally curious, questioning, reflective type of person. I like having conversations where someone shows interest, even if it’s just a few thoughtful questions back. It doesn’t have to be deep all the time, but I want to feel like my partner is engaged and curious about me and about the world.

So I’m wondering:

Am I expecting too much here?

Is this just a personality mismatch I need to accept?

11/06/2026

Son asked if we could be friends. Should I be worried?
I (dad) usually go in my son’s (12) room at night once he’s gotten in bed before he goes to sleep and maybe talk a little or say good night.

Last night he asks me “do you like me?” I say “of course I like you.” He says “but like if you’re weren’t my dad would you like me?” I said “I mean I can’t imagine not being your dad. But you are so smart and mature and you are so funny even when you’re not trying to be so yeah I think I’d like you. Why do you ask?”

He says “I don’t know, I was just thinking we could pretend to be friends and stuff.” I asked why we had to pretend. “I don’t know. You’re my dad. It’s just different.” I said it might be different but we could still be real friends.

I ask “What kind of friend stuff can we do together?” He says “I don’t know. Just like hang out and talk and stuff.” I say “Okay, we can do that”. He says “but like without mom and [8 year old brother’s name].” I say “Okay. Anything you want to talk about right now?” He says no. “Any ideas on stuff we can do?” He says no again.

I ask “Are you friends with any kids in school?” He says “I don’t know. Can we not be friends?” I say I didn’t mean it like that and dropped that line of questioning.

While it’s super sweet, I feel like there are some deeper issues going on here? If he was 6 I’d think nothing of it, but 12? He’s pretty reserved but I thought he had a few friends. Mom says I’m going to scare him away if I ask too many questions, I should just hang out with him a bit and see how things go. Thoughts? Not sure how worried I should be.

Also any suggestions on what we can do? Today I had some errands to run so I took him with me and tried to make it kind of fun and stop a few places he would be interested in and we got some ice cream. He seemed okay with that. Was just trying to come up with something more proper and fun. He’s not huge into sports but i think something outside would be good.

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