10/07/2025
D IS FOR DYSENTERY: THE A TO Z OF CHRISTIAN MISSIONS
A survival guide for the called, the curious, and the culturally confused
A is for airport – where all missionaries cry, say goodbye, and question their calling, five times a year.
B is for bugs – in your bed, in your rice, in your ear, but mostly in the stories that will seem funny later.
C is for convert – the one person who actually came to Jesus during your first term and who is now your pastor.
D is for dysentery – because the Great Commission includes great bowel movements.
E is for evangelism – sometimes it’s street preaching… sometimes it’s eating weird food while waiting for a question.
F is for fundraising – or is it sanctified begging?
G is for goat – you’ll eat it, pray over it, and once, you’ll ride it.
H is for hospitality – when someone gives you their only chicken, and you realize you’re eating dinner and their income.
I is for interpreter – because your attempt to say, “God loves you” came out as “Your pig is on fire.”
J is for jet lag – the spiritual gift of being awake at 3 a.m. for no reason.
K is for kid – the one who calls you “uncle” after four minutes of conversation and one piece of candy.
L is for luggage – the stuff that made it to Nairobi, but not to your village.
M is for mosquitoes – tiny missionaries of malaria. Anointed. Persistent. Demonic.
N is for nationals – the people who teach you that this was never about you.
O is for outreach – involving skits, puppets, and a donkey that wasn’t part of the plan.
P is for prayer letter – a monthly guilt trip in 500 words or less.
Q is for quarantine – because someone brought back something from the jungle.
R is for reentry – when you return home and cry in the cereal aisle because there are too many brands.
S is for supporters – people who send checks and ask if you’re “still doing that missionary thing.”
T is for team conflict – because iron sharpens iron, and sometimes stabs it.
U is for unreached – the people group you went to reach, only to find out your neighbor back home was one, too.
V is for visa – that magical document that determines if you’re in “missions” or on vacation.
W is for water – if you can drink it without boiling it, blessing it, or fearing it, you’re not on the field.
X is for xenophile – you loved the culture until the third power outage.
Y is for yes – what you said to everything, until your immune system said no.
Z is for Zoom – how you now do missions, conferences, and spiritual warfare.
Note: This was created in seconds by ChatGPT and lightly edited. Feel free to revise and/or reuse as you like.
