15/10/2023
i usually deal with my own problems alone and i automatically distance myself from everyone once i feel sad and tired for some reason. i don't ask for help that often, even from my close friends, because i don't want to be a burden on them. besides, i don't know how to ask for help, so i just disappear and fix myself, then return once i feel better. some ppl think that i'm too aloof and being too distance from them, but that's just who i am and i badly want them to understand that.
I can make people happy, I can cheer up people, I am there for those people who needed me, when i saw my friends sharing those sad post or sad quotes i will immediately message them and ask if they are okay. I love my friends so much, But when I needed them? They're all busy. Actually idh any problem with my friends, You guys knw why?©ause deep inside I’m tired of searching for love to replace the missing pieces of my heat . I Never choose a favorite in terms of friendship In this world that's full of fake people, don't trust anyone, even your loved once and even your bestfriend. I always display my smile to hide the pain. Even though my problem ducks me up. I really don't want to see people sad because of me as long as i can gave happiness to them I will. Right now i didn't share my problem to anyone! I'm not selfish, I'm just afraid of judgements. Self love is not selfish!! Trust yourself only, everyone can be your friend but not that true and trusted.
I think it's easier to say “I'm okay” than telling people why I'm hurting. It's hard to explain what I feel because even me don't understand my feelings. I just know that somewhere inside my heart is aching, feeling lonely, and breaking slowly. Sometimes when people ask me what makes me sad, I only stay silent because it hurts ASF .