Why listen to Perihelion Radio?
* We won't interrupt the music with blithering "personalities". They've all been fitted with shock collars, though. Listen for the occasional scream if and when the chatter becomes excessive.
* We won't give you 10 stupid reasons why you should donate to the cause. Besides, music isn't tangible. You shouldn't have to pay for something you can't hold in your hand.
* We won't employ washed up air talent (with the exception of Barone, a 20 year commercial radio veteran, who's been fired more than a piece of Rookwood pottery).
* We do offer free air sickness bags in the event you mistakenly "tuned" in to the wrong station prior to finding us. Recent studies have shown that uncontrollable dry heaving, erectile dysfunction, and rippin' yeast infections are some of the side effects frequently experienced when the user unknowingly stumbles upon a station that claims to play "everything".
* Again, we don't claim to be the greatest thing since the invention of the underwire bra. The music we play makes us feel good. Our hope is that it makes you feel good, too (as do the contents of an underwire bra).
* We won't penalize you for opting out of health care.
* You won't find religious programming cleverly tucked into an early Sunday morning slot. At least we're honest, right?
* Kanye West is a p***y. and his wife makes ass babies (typically 6-8 inches in diameter). Just needed to throw that out there. You're welcome.
* We're a Classic Rock teleporter. Climb aboard; it's free. A mouse click or two and you're on your way.
