Do You Remember These Things?

12/04/2023

Now that golliwogs are back in the news after fifteen of them were arrested in an Ess*x pub by the Woke Police on the orders of their liberal elite masters in Islington, it's high time this page restarted its very important campaign to bring back racist marmalade.

22/03/2023

21/03/2023

Who remembers Dr. Cocktopus and the rest of the This Life gang?

21/03/2023

Anyone know what the hell this is supposed to be? Our best guess is it's Tom Jones and Johnny 5 hurrying away after being caught playing with themselves in the ladies toilets.

18/03/2023

“You want everybody peeps kebab?”

17/03/2023

It's time we started asking this AI business the important questions.

17/03/2023

Happy Ireland Day!

09/03/2023

One of our rivals in the remembering things multiverse asked its braindead followers what this was earlier. As if that needs to be asked of a sophisticated audience like you lot. Anyone with a working brain knows this is a cylinder block from a 1988 Ford Sierra.

09/03/2023

She was England's Windy Candle of Hearts, Roses and Incorrect National Lottery Numbers Predictions. Farewell, and sorry about the 'she didn't see that one coming' joke that every man and woman over the age of forty will crack today.

07/03/2023

Who remembers fleas, mange and the smell of your grandma's house captured in puppet form?

07/03/2023

How can any remembering thingsologist hope to compete with this titan of our industry? Colin is the Leonardo da Vinci of remembering all of the things.

07/03/2023

We did. Unfortunately, it ended in borstal.

07/03/2023

Every kid in the UK wanted one of these for Christmas in 1991. Parents queued for hours outside toy shops to get their hands on one, leading to a nationwide shortage, rationing and riots. Things got so bad that the government produced a public information film featuring the Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water making one out of yoghurt pots, sticky back plastic and the souls of children who had drowned in ponds.

06/03/2023

Swan and caviar butties produce farts that can floor an elephant.

05/03/2023

05/03/2023

It's a shame they never ran with the 'take a popular TV show and add t**s and racists' concept after this. Imagine what we could have had - Noel's Late Nite House Party with Noel, Jim Davidson and the girls from the Raymond Revuebar, Dame Thora Hird getting her pendulous udders out on a post-watershed Praise Be!, Roy Chubby Brown's Boys, Jim'll ### It …

… well, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea.

05/03/2023

For that authentic 1970s curry night, just add peas, tinned pineapple, raisins and a husband ranting about foreign muck and the disappearance of all the cats and dogs in the vicinity of the Indian restaurant that's opened up in town.

04/03/2023

*makes a note to ring the GP to renew inflammatory bowel disease medication*

03/03/2023

They're all kicking up a stink about Harry Potter over on Twitter. We should go back to the good old days where the arrested development crowd who still lived with their m**s despite being in their thirties threw hissy fits over infantile rubbish like Star Wars and Dr. Who. It seems like only yesterday that every town and city had at least one unemployable bloke with a disgraceful Internet browsing history dressed up like Tom Baker, prancing about town in his big hat, flitting between the charity shops before his appointment at the local police station to sign the s*x offender's register. Yes, dressing up like a magic boy from a book aimed at eight year olds is highly questionable, but it just doesn’t reach the same level of dodgy eccentricity achieved by a grown man who wears cricket whites when he's not playing cricket whose strongest emotional attachment is towards a £4,500 limited edition 'Daleks vs. Cybermen' resin chess set signed by Bonnie Langford.

02/03/2023

You occasionally hear scurrilous accusations that the people who made children's TV in the '60s, '70s and '80s were off their t**s on drugs. As you can see from this photograph of some rubbish from off of America, this is quite clearly nonsense.

02/03/2023

Who Remembers Co***ne Part 2 - The Comedown Years.

02/03/2023

You don't get toys in boxes of Sugar Puffs nowadays thanks to the Health 'n' Safety N***s. And you're not allowed to call them Sugar Puffs not neither. Want to know what happened to the Honey Monster? They took the poor bastard out back and shot him, that's what.

01/03/2023

Happy Wales Day, everybody! Here's a photo of some lovely Welsh ladies from off of the olden days to celebrate. We couldn't find any pictures of Welsh fellas from off of the olden days, presumably because pictures taken two miles underground of three foot tall molemen digging out flammable rocks for English aristocrats didn't come out terribly well back then.

Ycccyogghyyfychhnyggh fggynnych yofyygogcyyh yaiffyygnnh!

01/03/2023

Kids today will never experience the thrill of being able to write 'BO***ES' on an electronic device. Bad luck, kids. Looks like us old farts win this round.

28/02/2023

"Where was your real dad at the time?" asked Jeremy Vine on today's Jimmy Young Show on the BBC Home Service. Back in the day, everyone knew where their real dad was. He was out delivering milk, of course.