25/02/2024
7 powerful lessons from the book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself" by Nedra Glover Tawwab:
1. You have the right to set boundaries. This is the most important lesson in the book. Tawwab emphasizes that boundaries are not about controlling others, but about protecting your own energy and well-being. You have the right to say no to things that don't serve you, and you don't have to justify your boundaries to anyone.
2. Boundaries are not selfish. Setting boundaries is actually an act of self-care. When you take care of yourself, you're better able to take care of others. And when others respect your boundaries, it creates healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
3. Start small. It can be overwhelming to try to set boundaries in every area of your life at once. Start with small, manageable changes, and build from there. For example, you could start by saying no to one extra commitment a week, or by taking a 10-minute break for yourself each day.
4. Be clear and direct. When you communicate your boundaries, be clear and direct. Don't apologize or make excuses. Simply state your boundary and what will happen if it's crossed. For example, you could say, "I'm not available to talk on the phone after 8pm. If you call me after that time, I won't answer."
5. Be prepared for pushback. Not everyone will be happy when you set boundaries. Some people may try to guilt you, manipulate you, or even bully you into changing your mind. Be prepared for this, and don't be afraid to walk away from people who don't respect your boundaries.
6. Be consistent. Setting boundaries is an ongoing process. There will be times when you slip up or when others try to push your buttons. The important thing is to be consistent in enforcing your boundaries. The more consistent you are, the easier it will become.
7. Be kind to yourself. Setting boundaries is not always easy. There will be times when you make mistakes or feel guilty. Be kind to yourself and remember that you're doing the best you can.