Lowering the Bar

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Lowering the Bar

Legal Humor. Seriously. by Kevin Underhill It is a personal project, though, for which the firm itself should not be blamed.

Lowering the Bar is written by Kevin Underhill, a partner who works in the San Francisco office of Shook, Hardy and Bacon L.L.P.

06/06/2023

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2023/06/i-really-regret-the-matter-says-driver.html

Not his first offense, but it was his first six-figure fine.

18/03/2023

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2023/03/plaintiff-alleges-boneless-wings-are-really-mislabeled-nuggets.html

That is, made from breast meat like nuggets, not from the chicken’s actual nuggets.

01/08/2022

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2021/11/train-driver-sues-to-recover-49-cent-penalty.html

Train Driver Sues to Recover 49-Cent Penalty That's 60 seconds they'll never get back (image: public domain, via Sui-setz on Wikipedia) November 17, 2021 A while back we discussed the matter of a Harvard Law School grad who threatened to sue a local restaurant that had overcharged him by four dollar...

01/08/2022

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2021/11/no-one-can-stop-me-says-lawyer-about-to-be-stopped.html

“No One Can Stop Me,” Says Lawyer About to Be Stopped The people who shouldn't pass up a chance to throw the book at Eric Deters November 10, 2021 “No one can stop me from doing that,” Eric Deters said in a brief he filed last week with the Kentucky Supreme Court. By “that” he meant prac...

01/08/2022

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2021/11/plaintiff-complains-pop-tarts-less-healthy-than-she-expected.html

Plaintiff Complains Pop-Tarts Less Healthy Than She Expected Not 100% strawberry, it turns out (image: Evan-Amos via Wikipedia) November 3, 2021 Represented by the same firm that filed the “Heart of the Himalayas” case I mocked last week, plaintiffs in at least three states are claiming they wer...

05/03/2022

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2021/10/consumer-wanted-only-water-from-one-mountain.html

If it does exist, it’s very important to her.

05/03/2022

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2021/10/heart-of-the-himalayas.html

Or, it’s somewhere else, if there is any such thing.

28/11/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/10/chavez-v-cause-yall-took-my-phones.html

Surprisingly, there’s more wrong with this case than the caption.

28/11/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/10/hopefully-no-winners-in-psychic-suit.html

If you want a joke about “predicting the outcome,” you will have to write your own.

28/11/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/10/breaking-suspect-in-assault-case-spends-second-full-day-in-tree.html

The standoff lasted about 53 hours.

28/11/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/10/canadians-ask-excluded-person-to-visit.html

She hasn’t been able to enter, but the government wants her to visit so she can be properly expelled.

28/11/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/10/special-ops-unit-assaulted-by-ninja.html

I guess he did have the advantage of surprise.

30/10/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/09/missing-man-found-in-search-party.html

“Who are we looking for?” he finally asked.

30/10/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/09/lawyer-held-in-contempt-for-gadzooks.html

Lawyer Held in Contempt for Repeatedly Saying “Gadzooks” After Judge’s Ruling September 24, 2021 Thank you to the reader who recently alerted me to this important opinion: Campasano v. Koster, No. 1-18-2070, 2019 WL 7019004 (Ill. Ct. App. Dec. 19, 2019). It’s not just important, it appears t...

30/10/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/09/realtor-claims-home-not-sold-due-to-compromising-paraphernalia-of-sundry-sorts.html

Realtor Claims Home Not Sold Due to Compromising Paraphernalia of Sundry Sorts A fake "new" work by him, published in 1709, when people still said "sundry." September 15, 2021 Here’s what I think the complaint below is alleging. The plaintiff, a realtor, was trying to sell his client’s townhouse...

30/10/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/09/assorted-stupidity-147.html

Assorted Stupidity #147 September 10, 2021 Someone is calling law libraries around the country, asking librarians to read Brady v. Maryland to them over the phone, and doing what while they read it? And Brady v. Maryland? I mean, Gibbons v. Ogden, okay. That’s kind of hot. But Brady? Well, Lenin a...

18/09/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/09/nevermind-cover-baby-sues.html

Guess which federal crime he’s claiming they committed. Go on, guess.

18/09/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/08/suspect-lake-paddleboard.html

He might have evaded the paddleboard, but not the whole flotilla.

18/09/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/08/kraken-sanctions-order-weighs-a-pound.html

If printed on letter-sized paper, just to be clear.

16/09/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/08/i-claim-this-castle-under-article-61.html

Will “Article 61 of the Magna Carta” be the right answer this time? I wonder!

16/09/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/08/german-fined-250000-euros-for-unlicensed-panzer.html

He will also have to sell the Panzer, his 88mm anti-aircraft gun, and various other N**i knickknacks.

16/09/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/08/dead-people-still-having-trouble.html

“You are not known as deceased,” said the IRS, but she also was not known as alive.

15/08/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/07/assorted-stupidity-146.html

In this edition: how not to make a great impression on the jury, more sovereign-citizen nonsense, a ruling involving the outer continental shelf, and some human-hamster-wheel advice.

15/08/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/07/lawyer-apologizes-for-judge-surveillance.html

Well, he’s a lawyer for now, anyway.

15/08/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/07/kraken-releasing-lawyers-face-tough-questions.html

Such as: “Did any of you actually talk to these witnesses?” (Hint: they had not.)

15/08/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/07/third-planet-v-crowne-plaza-infinity-war-or-endgame.html

There might or might not be a sequel, but if there is, I’ll watch it.

15/08/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/07/official-state-crap-idaho-2.html

Just 38 states (and maybe a few territories) to go.

18/07/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/06/settlement-in-flintstone-house-case.html

Also the statue of the Great Gazoo.

18/07/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/06/supreme-court-holds-cheerleaders-can-swear-on-snapchat.html

Including F-bombs, at least on these facts.

18/07/2021

https://loweringthebar.net/2021/06/hint-of-lime-case-its-not-crunch-berries-but-its-close.html

Very close.

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